Chapter 30

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It doesn't take long for Allie to cry herself to sleep again. All the screaming and sobbing must make her really tired.

When she sleeps, she cries out for me the whole time. But I know that to her, it's not really me that she's crying for. She's crying for her dead brother that she's somehow convinced herself is me. But I'm nothing like Micah, and I never will be.

Allie's only been asleep for maybe ten minutes when she starts trashing and screaming even louder in her sleep. She kicks her foot against the wall, hard, and the sound echoes through the room.

Realizing how she's hurting herself when she's on the floor, I gently walk over and scoop her up, cradling her to me like I used to do when she was smaller.

However my arms don't seem to  comfort Allie like they used to, and she continues kicking me in her sleep until I try and stop it.

I walk her over to the bed and lay her down carefully, before laying beside her. I pull her into my embrace and kiss her head lightly, trying to soothe her.

It seems to work somewhat, and Allie's loud screams soon turn to soft whimpers.

"Kaden," she whispers in her sleep. "Don't go,"

"Shh," I coo. "I'm right here, I've got you," I brush through her hair with my fingers, using every technique I can think of to calm her down. And eventually, it works and she stops making any sounds of distress at all.

I hold her for a little while longer before I realize what might happen if Allie wakes up and notices me being this close to her. I don't think that would end well.

So I gently move my arms away from her and scoot off of her hospital bed.

Then carefully and slowly, I place the blanket on top of her, tucking it around her body to try and make sure she satya warm. Seriously, these hospital blankets are thinner than a t-shirt.

Once I'm satisfied that Allie won't get cold, I kiss her softly on her forehead and cheek before heading back over to the now familiar chair of mine.

I settle down into it and try in vain to get comfortable in it. However, it's a lost cause, and I know that this chair will never, in any way, be a comfortable place to sleep. Unless maybe I had Allie with me.

But I don't right now, and at the rate we're going, I don't know if I ever will again.

I groan and throw my head in my hands, wanting to scream and cry all at the same time. Why did this have to happen to me? Why?

I know now what the wolf's who get rejected by their mate feels like. When all you want to do is love and comfort your mate, you can't because they don't want anything to do with you. Its the worst feeling in the world.

As I think over the fact that I might not ever get my Allie back, a single tear falls from my eye, slipping down my cheek and staining my skin.

Normally, I don't cry. I've never really been a crier. The only Times in my entire life where I've really cried over something have been related to Allie.

Allie is in the hospital and we don't know when she'll wake up,

Allie's falls into another coma,

Allie's gone from her hospital bed,

Allie hates me.

I just want to tell her how much I love her, find some way to explain to her that I am Kaden, I am her mate that she cries for every night. The same one that she wishes was still alive. If only I could get through to her that I'm right beside of her and I'm never leaving. All she has to do is understand.

With that thought, more tears fall from my face, and I have no control to stop them. Somewhere in the back of my mind I know I need to stay quiet so I don't wake Allie, but I just can't. No matter how hard I try, the tears keep coming and I can't stay quiet.

But I suddenly wish that I would have been a quiet crier when I hear my mate clear her throat from across the room. I look up to see her eyeing me carefully, confusion settling on her brow.

"Um," she starts to say.

"Sorry," I cut her off, wiping my face with my hands and shirt sleeves. "I didn't mean to wake you,"

Allie still seems confused. "Um, that's okay. Are you all right?"

"No," I whisper. My voice is so quiet I'm surprised she even hears what I say.

"What's wrong?" she asks.

Why do you all of the sudden care? I  almost say. But I stop myself before those words can escape. This is progress, and if Allie is worried about me that must be a good thing.

"I'm upset," I murmur.

"Why?" she asks, her voice seeming somehow softer. A touch of the old Allie cracking through this new exterior.

'This is good!' my wolf shouts in my head. 'She cares! She remembers us!'

'Stay calm,' I tell him. 'She hasn't gotten that far yet,'

"Because," I say aloud. "Because you don't remember who I am, and you're scared of me. I don't want you to be scared of me. I want you to see how much I love you, Allie. I'd never hurt you,"

Allie looks at me with a guarded expression. "Did you cover me up?" she asks, toying with the small blanket.

I nod. "And put you in the bed,"

Allie's brow furrows. "Why would you do that?"

"Because I want you to see how much I care about you. And that seemed like the only way at the moment,"

"What do you mean?" she murmurs. "The only way?"

I sigh. "You won't let me anywhere near you when you're awake. I could only comfort you when you're unconscious,"

"Oh," is all Allie can mange at my words. She looks down again and plays with her fingers before looking up at me again. She eyes me curiously, seeming to not be able to form a coherent stream of thoughts.

"Who are you?" she whispers warily.

"Kaden," I answer.

At my soft word, Allie pales and all the progress we seem to have made disappears in a flash.

"No," she whispers. "You aren't, he's gone, you killed him,"

Then she turns away from me, curling into a ball before starting to cry again into her shoulder.

Soon, she falls asleep again, rolling off of the bed in her unconscious state, and landing where I'll just have to pick her up again.

****

So I hope this chapter wasn't as depressing as the other were yesterday, I thought it seemed a little better.

Also, next chapter should be up right after this one, I just finished writing it so I could post them both together.

Please comment and vote! Love you guys! :))

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