letter two

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Why is it that everyone has feelings. I would be so much better if I didn't have them. I learned a long time ago that if you don't hope you won't be hurt in the end. But then feelings just come into my life and fuck everything up. Showing any kind of emotion is bad, even if it is happy. If you let someone know you are happy that means they will keep doing that same thing over and over again just to keep you happy. And that results in a boring life.

On the other hand I'm perfectly ok with a boring life. I've grown up being introverted, not giving anyone a way to enter my life was the best way to live. If they enter you are going to end up in shambles, feelings create that gateway to your life. Feelings ruin everything, so why feel.

"Herron" My English teacher -Mr. Mac - shouted my name

"Yes" I spoke bluntly to the guy

"Pay attention to my class, unless you would like to go to the office?" I smirked at him before standing up.

"Don't worry, I'll have a safe trip" I turned on my heel grabbing my bag along with my notebook that was once laying on my desk and walked out.

Of course I wasn't actually going to the office. I had about 30 seconds to get out of the school before Mr. Mac would call the office letting them know I was coming. I put my notebook in my vegan and began sprinting down the halls. Taking sharp turns I would almost fall but quickly regain my stability.

"Mr. Herron!" Someone shouted making me stop dead in my tracks.

If I didn't put my notebook in my bag I would've made it. I turned around to come face to face with a hall monitor.

"Yes?" I asked, my voice laced with irritation.

"Where are you going?" I sighed with an eye roll close after.

"I've been excused" I lied.

"Pass?" Lucky for me I've done this before. I have lies upon lies lined up for me to use.

"It was a family emergency. They let me go because it was urgent. My mother was in tears" I explained. "And if you would please let me go I need to go see if everything is alright" I pleaded.

"Mmh ok" she looked suspicious but let me. I sighed, relieved, "but if I find you like this again you will be getting detention."

"Last time, I promise"

Lies.

She smiled brightly at me before turning around and walking back to wherever she came from. I muttered nonsense as I walked quickly to the door. I heard her walkie-talkie go off. Her eyes met mine, by this time her smile disappeared.

"Herron you get back here!" She yelled running after me.

"No can do" I bolted out of the school, her still chasing me. I continued to run until I was sure I was off school property.

I made my way home slowly, my parents weren't home and my siblings were at our aunts house like usual. I was not hesitant to open the house door and walk in. I saw a voicemail on the home phone. Like I said, I've done this before.

"Hello Mr. and Mrs. Herron. I would like to notify you that Zachary Dean Herron has left school without permission once again. Call me as soon as possible." I laughed at the message from my principle.

I dialed the number and held up the phone to my ear.

"Hello?"

"Hello, this is Mr. Herron" I smiled "over the message you said Zach skipped again?"

"Why yes, I am very concerned for your son's behavior and I'm thinking maybe he should get suspended for a couple days to each him a lesson" I smiled even wider.

"I agree, how many days? Or is a week more suiting?"

"A week would be perfect, I really do hope Zach... learns better behavior. He is on his was to being expelled"

"Yes I understand"

"I just don't get it. Zach is so quiet but whenever you get close to him all he wants to do is push you out" I heard a deep sigh.

"That is very true, well I have to go. Zach will be there next Monday" we exchanged goodbyes and hung up.

I knew for a fact that I push people away when we get too close. What's the point in getting close if we are going to be separated in the end anyways? I really don't understand why my principle understands that, it's not like I've taken a liking to him ever. I have a reason for being like that, and all I'm saying is why feel a connection if you are eventually going to be hurt.

Dear jack,
        I'm quiet jack, I usually don't speak. But when people like Mr. Mac try to control me it gets in my head and I push away any feeling of connection. I ran from the school today, almost got caught but whatever. I'm complicated, I just realized. In the last letter I said I was shy and unnoticeable. But in this letter I'm basically saying "get away or be hurt." Why? I don't know. I don't understand myself so why would I let someone else into my life to try and figure me out too. I won't.

~Sincerely Zach

• • •

>Hope you liked the chapter 
>next chapter WILL include Jack don't worry 
>this chapter was a bit longer; 800 words or so

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