Despite being with other people, Liam was still the person Niall found his thoughts returning to. His heart returning to. No one seemed to match in the same way Liam had for all those years and Niall wasn't sure if anyone ever would. He had strong connections with others, but Liam had been his first and strongest.
It had been another few months since they had seen each other and Niall was still thinking about their reunions back in the summer. The one where they'd slept together and the one where they'd only had time to mess around an snapchat for a bit due to their schedules.
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Liam had looked as cuddly as ever in his baggy hoody and Niall had just wanted a Liam hug that lasted all day. But people were all around as always and they were both pulled in different directions. Niall hadn't been able to concentrate on anything properly that day.
Sleeping with Liam again the first time they'd reunited had relit the strong fire they had whenever they were together and at times Niall partly wished it had never happened. It had been everything, just as it always was, but Niall has just been getting over him and starting to move on despite the media detailing Liam's growing family, and them reuniting had took him back to square one. No matter how much focus Niall gave to someone else, his thoughts and feelings were stronger than ever for Liam.
Creating the snapchat with him had been fun and it had been like old times again, bit Liam hadn't seemed quite as bothered because he had other people to worry about. Niall understood, but that didn't make it any easier.
And now they were about to see each other again on the KIIS-FM Jingle Ball in Dallas. This would be the third time this year. Niall couldn't believe they'd gone from practically everyday to three days. It made his stomach sink too much if he dwelled on it. He was simultaneously beyond excited and terribly nervous. What if his feelings came back so strong he couldn't cope? What if he was clinging on to something Liam had revisited as a one last time thing and was ready to move on?
Niall felt sick.
He moved slowly as he walked through the early morning backstage corridors to his dressing room. The tiredness of a year of solo performing was mixing with his Liam dilemma, leaving him in a mood no one could lift. Except maybe the one person causing it...
And that person had just appeared in the open doorway of Niall's dressing room. Niall froze as Liam stood with his arms up on either side of the doorframe grinning at him, instantly making Niall's heart flutter and his bad mood start to lift.
"Alright, Nialler?"
"Alright, Big Papa Payno?"
Liam swaggered into the room, arms open. "Ooh how do I get you to call me that again later?"
He reached Niall and pulled him into a hug. Niall hugged him back, but didn't melt into it like he normally would. He held Liam quickly, holding part of himself back, and Liam clearly noticed.
He let go and frowned at Niall curiously. "Are you ok, Niall?"
"Yeah, I'm fine. You?"
"I'm great. You seem a little distant."
"Just preparing for the show."
"Niall, don't bullshit me. Don't you think I've known you long enough, been close to you long enough to know when something's up?"
Niall felt the side of his mouth twitch at the hint of a small smile. Liam still knew him better than anyone and cared straight away if he wasn't alright. It made Niall want to pull Liam into a proper hug and bury his face into his warm chest.
Instead, he let out a small sigh and kept looking away from Liam's face. "I just...I dunno...I just thought you might be moving on from me, that's all."
Niall dares himself to raise his eyes and saw Liam's face creased with concern.
"Oh, Niall, I don't think I could ever move on from us. You meant, you mean so much to me."
Niall felt himself blush slightly. "It's just with your new family and everything..."
"Everything's open when it comes to you, Niall, like it's always been. I know we don't get to see each other no where near as much as we used to and I have other responsibilities, but when I do see you, I still feel the same way about you. I don't think that strong feeling will ever fade. Your cheeky face and adorable cuteness make sure of that."
Niall felt tears line the bottom of his eyes and blinked fast. "Liam, I..."
He found himself unable to think of words to push through or convey the emotion surging through him.
Liam smiled at him. "I know you feel it when we're together as well. I may have a family, and I'm pretty sure you're sleeping with some hot Canadian teen-" Niall tried not to smirk as Liam winked at him. "-but we're still the same old Niam when we're together."
Niall burst out laughing. "I can't believe you just used our ship name!"
"What? I am Mrs. Horan, remember? You don't get to divorce me that easily."
Niall punched him lightly in the arm. "Yer such an idiot."
"Yeah, but I made you laugh, didn't I? Come here."
Liam pulled Niall into another hug and this time Niall allowed himself to sink into it, holding onto Liam tightly.
"I do still feel like that as well," Niall said into Liam's dark shirt. "We feel different from everyone else and even though it may only be a few times a year now, I'm still grateful for that time."
Liam squeezed him harder. "Me too, Niall, me too."
They eventually let go and smiled bashfully at one another.
"As we're staying in the same hotel tonight, you're definitely hanging out in my room."
Niall rolled his eyes and smirked deviously. "Obviously."
