It’s been a couple of months, school is almost over and you're trying very hard to end it on a high note. Making up with people that you had misunderstandings with, trying to find someone who cares about you. You want this year to end so that you can see some people way less than you do every day, because for once you know that it isn't going to be easy to give it all up or even pretend that you hate him. You can't force yourself to love or hate someone that's just the way it is and will always be.
It makes you laugh because people thing you have got a perfect life and that you're so ungrateful that one day you are going to lose it all, but the one thing that they don't know is that you're tired of pretending, pretending that you're fine. You wish that for once your parents can trust you but they don't because you've broken their trust before, because you're human and can't help but make mistakes. They've got it all wrong, because you both know that nobody can be perfect no matter how hard they try.
You say you're okay but all you need is someone to not believe you, to hug you tight and let you have a shoulder to cry on just for once let you be imperfect because behind all the smiles and the mask you put out for everyone to see, you are hurting, you're wanting and needing someone to hold you and tell you they'll be there for you just like you were there for them.
Then came the day when you just couldn't take it anymore, the day when your whole world came crashing down because the hope you had was now nowhere to be found and without it you know you're not going to go anywhere. So you just break down, one of your best friends is there for you but even though you appreciate the fact that she's there for you that is not the person you want to hold you and tell you day care. In the middle of your meltdown you notice him turn around the corner so you swiftly dab your eyes to make sure there's not one tear left and even though he is the reason for half those tears you just smile because you don't want to show him your weak side. He'll be there if you need him and that's what matters even if it is just as a friend.
So you come up with a poem that will later be your inspiration
Don't let the tears fall
Holding back the tears from all
Showing them you're strong...
Strong enough not to fall;
Trying to prove them all wrong.
You plaster a smile on your face,
Smiling through your tears,
Walking at a slower pace,
Trying to get past your fears.
Another day passes by,
People are trying hard to pry
Holding back tears
Proving them all wrong,
You will NOT cry!
Wincing at every rumor
But you doesn’t see the humor
Your hearts broken in half.
You want people around you to be at least a little considerate but in your world everyone thinks about themselves especially when they are stuck between a rock and a hard place just like you are now.
Those nights when you just sit there going through old messages between you and all you can do is cry because it had meant so much to you. You let the tears fall until your eyes are red and puffy because again your dark room is the only place where you can be yourself without anyone there to judge your weakness because you are not perfect. You want all of it back, the hugs, the smiles, the endless conversations but there's nothing you can do about it. It was your choice this time, you are the one who is choosing to let go because your heart has had enough and you don't want to be hurt anymore. Love is sacrifice though and you have to see if you can get it to be the way it was again.
Hello again, Well sorry for the late update...
Let me know what you guys think though <3 Ahha thanks for the support