I was floating in darkness and the world was closed off to me. I was officially a freak. Everyone was going to look me like I was a circus act. Everyone would treat me like glass, easily broken.
"Jasmine I understand..." the doctor started.
"What would you understand-?'" I snapped frustrated. What did they know? Did they know how difficult it was when your family thought that mental health problem was an old's wife tale, used by the those who sought after extra attention.
"I was you once..." the doctor said leaning back into his chair. "We didn't have doctors for this really in our time- not really anyway. My family thought I was mad, so they sent me to the doctor."
There was silence "Do you knew what he said? I should stop seeking attention, so I spent my teenage years taking drugs and drowning my sorrows in alcohol, I was a mad man. Until I cleaned myself up I went to therapy, and I decided to become a doctor."
He was silent watching me. "What I am trying to say is that it gets better."
I looked at the kind man no older than 40, he turned to his computer tapping things in. I decided to listen to what I thought was crap advice then.
"I was made aware of your situation...so I can prescribe your drugs without your guardian knowing. It is usually not done, but it is allowed in special circumstances." He said from his computer, typing in more things before signing a piece of paper and handing it to me. He pushed up his glasses and smiled kindly , in a way that me believe that, in the words of Fitzgerald "he was prejudice
in my favour"
"This is also not done, but I am telling you to feel more at ease...maybe double check your family members, they may have things they aren't telling you."
He smiled sadly before dismissing me. I left the surgery into the cold September afternoon, the sun was shining and the sky was bright, but there was sheen of grey in the light, that made you remember that it was autumn. I dawdled, in no hurry to get home at all. My family life was shitty and I didn't need to pair up with shitty news I got. I had no one to unburden all my pain to either. No one would know I suffered from depression and anxiety. It would be just be perfect strangers that knew, strangers that had no real insight of me. Nurses, passing therapist...it would only be them.
I tried to figure out what the Doctor has told me. Check my family members? What was there to check?
I breathed a cloud of misty air. I didn't care a anyway. I thought it was nothing. I picked up my the skittle like drugs and stuffed them in my bag out of sight, the same way I stuffed all my problems out of sight. I was quickly getting a headache and decided it was best I stopped for some caffeine and what better place to stop than Starbucks.
A bubbly waiter took my order, her hair slung back in a shiny ponytail, revealing hoop earrings, a small sign of rebellion.
"What ya orderin' hun?" She asked.
"I dunno?" I mumbled "what's good?"
She smiled brightly "Well this Cinnabun Latte with fudge bits is great hun!" She said her accent gave away the fact that she was in fact from London and not from the worst town in the whole of England.
"Err yeah I'll have that" I said awkwardly paying for my drink and leaving.
As I waited, I eyed the room, trying my best to subtle. Most people were tried looking business men and women, probably not earning much, there was a cluster of Asian tourists in a corner and I wondered why they visited our gross town of Lidim which was always busy for the wrong reason, with actually nothing to do.
I was about to put my earphones in when I was tapped on the shoulder.
"Hey you dropped your card." I turned around to face a boy, I say face but I was really just facing his chest. He was incredibly cute but I knew my flirting abilities were nonexistent and I had no chance, so I stuck with thanks.
YOU ARE READING
Jasmine Dreams and Fudgin' Coffee boyRandom
"How would you like to die?" The names is Jas, if you don't know me I am the resident nutcase, but you should know who I am. I am the talk of the town... Jasmine recounts her very ordinary life but there is twist. She suffers from Depression and anx...