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The fall of the stool to where the rope became taut felt as long as if Colby had jumped off a building. A weightless feeling surrounded his limbs and made him feel like he was floating. He could almost see himself drop. It felt like forever before he felt the harsh feeling of the rope pull against his skin. His heart beat as fast as his thoughts were swirling in his head. There were thoughts of his life, of the good and of the bad, there were thoughts of death, was he scared to die? Maybe he was. He didn't want to leave anymore. He wanted more time. God he was so stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid! There was no one else to blame but himself for robbing the rest of his life away from him. He wanted to scream because he knew how short his life had left but how long each moment felt. All he could do was wait and try to breathe. He tried to savor every breath, knowing it was probably his last. There were too many thoughts to concentrate but one pushed itself to the front of his mind, throbbing itself into existence, yearning to be picked out of the hurricane of words.


It was always Sam. He plagued Colby's thoughts day and night, his eyes and his hair, and now his lips were imprinted in Colby's mind. The face that he would remember and feel warm and fuzzy, now only brought him a bitter feeling of pain and regret. He wished he would have never met Sam, he wished that when he saw that face he didn't feel like his heart was ripping out of his chest. He hated how much love could hurt him. But when imagined Sam's face and instead of the usual feeling of missing Sam he simply felt okay knowing that he would be gone in a moment, he didn't have to see Sam's face anymore. He didn't care that Sam was in the doorway, he just wanted to fall asleep. 

He was drowsy now, his head felt like it was full of cotton, his arms fell limp at his side and they felt like rocks pulling at his shoulders, and the air wasn't getting to his brain. He stopped trying to gasp for oxygen. His fingers started to twitch and his neck stopped burning from the rope. It was the end and he realized that now, he was fine with it. He has his time and decided to take it away. There was nothing to be done and nothing he wanted to do.  And just when he was ready to disappear, to be at peace, to be okay, to just stop.

The rope snapped.

Sam had been frozen, as he watched his best friend, and possibly the love of his life, close his eyes and kick away the stool from his desk. He watched as Colby's hair flew up, revealing the tears that ran down his cheek. He watched as Colby's head jolted up at the sudden tension in the rope. He watched as Colby's face turned pink and his arms fell limp. His brain yelled at him to just move but he couldn't, his legs had turned to jelly and forced him to watch as Colby's neck turned red where the rope rubbed and where his body twitched in a feeble attempt to undo what its sick brain had done.

He watched as the rope snapped.

Sam didn't realize that he had been screaming until he was jolted into action. His throat stung from the harsh yell he had been giving. He rushed to try and catch Colby in his arms as he fell from his place, dangled like an ornament, from the fan. Colby's body was dead weight, as he fell into Sam's open arms, knocking them both to the floor. Colby's eyes were closed still, as Sam desperately ripped off the rope from around his neck. He wasn't breathing, or if he was it was too shallow to see. Sam panicked, "Breathe, please God, breathe!"

With a hard blow to the back of Colby's shoulder's the boy slumped in his lap gasped violently and his body tried to convulse forward but was stopped by the tight grip of Sam's arms. Blue eyes bugged slightly out of his head in fear and surprise, he wasn't really sure how he had gotten from suspended to on the ground. The lack of oxygen had blocked his ability to think or rationalize, but when he saw Sam's red splotched face sobbing above him he understood. He had seen that face once before, during a prank that they didn't bother to mention anymore. But this time there wasn't any way for him to comfort Sam. He couldn't say it was all fake. He couldn't hug him and everything would be okay. He couldn't play the role of the hero. This time he was nothing but pathetic. He had to close his eyes to get rid of the sight of his best friend's pained face but it was already imprinted in his mind. Sam didn't have words, he wanted to ask 'Why?' and he wanted to tell Colby how important he was but all he could do was sob loudly.

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