aki stops hearing from jeongguk altogether.
there are no phone calls, no text messages, no unexpected appearances at her doorstep at two in the morning, and it drives aki absolutely insane with emptiness. she misses the sound of his muffled singing through the bathroom door as he showered, the way his slippers brushed against the floor as he shuffled his way around the house without picking up his feet, the comforting tone of his voice whenever he spoke to her.
she tells herself that she was meant to cut this off ages ago before the wounds got too deep, but her heart aches and yearns for the boy who sets her aflame with warmth. she's dreamed one too many times about jeongguk showing up and woken up one too many times with tears running down her face.
it takes aki all the courage to stop herself from dialing jeongguk's phone number, many times calling stella instead to ask if jeongguk has frequented the bar in any of the days past. but even stella hasn't seen him around, and with every passing day, aki gradually thinks that maybe this is it.
until he shows up at her door one night dressed head to toe in black, donning a maroon beanie aki has never seen him wear before with his hands tucked nervously in his pockets.
"jeongguk? i - what are you doing here?" aki says with wide eyes, aghast that after almost two months with zero contact from him, he's here standing before her without any notice of his coming. "come in first, it's freezing out."
he ignores her, keeping his feet planted on the doormat outside.
"aki." jeongguk says with a desperation she's never heard from him before. "i miss you."
"i ..."
"i really fucking miss you and your laugh and how you always smell like vanilla and god i even miss the leftovers you'd always leave for me even though they've been sitting in the fridge for three days."
"you realize i haven't seen you in two months, right? and suddenly you're here and ...." aki trails off as jeongguk takes a swift step into the apartment, silenced by their close proximity.
"you're too perfect for me, aki matsuda."
"...what?"
"i told myself that i would never fall in love with you because you're pure, crystal snow and i'm nothing but bloodied hands and ghastly scars that'd tarnish you. and god, i tried so fucking hard to not call you, but yet i'm standing here because i'm selfish and want you for myself."
his eyes implore hers, conscious of all of the flaws within him yet begging to be accepted all the same. jeongguk proceeds gingerly to reach both hands out to take hold of her's, his gaze never once leaving aki almost as if getting permission to continue. he intertwines their fingers, one hand at a time.
aki savors the way jeongguk's hands feel, calloused and scarred but so familiar it hurts. maybe anger should have been a more reasonable response; jeongguk had hurt her, made her cry, broken her heart. but aki hasn't felt this complete in a long time, and she, too, was selfish and wanted nothing more than to bask in jeongguk's confession.
"can i?" jeongguk asks, gently squeezing the hands at her sides, taking another step closer. aki can only nod, at a loss for words because this is still all too dreamlike for her. so he takes another step, then another, until she can feel his hot breath against her lips.
jeongguk takes his time with her, leaning in so achingly slowly that aki tugs eagerly on their entwined hands to pull him closer. when his lips first meet hers, it's like the world shifts and settles and all the pain she's ever felt dissipates into thin air. aki has imagined this scene so many times, but none compare to this one.
tonight, jeon jeongguk kisses her like she is air and he can't breathe.
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and finally the much, much anticipated chapter! ;)
hope i delivered akdjw i always have fun writing confession scenes ok
