My Depression is like the White Rabbit's Rabbit Hole in Alice in wonderland. I'm falling down the hole and the gravity is gone, there is nothing to pull me back. The thing about me is that I'm not Alice, I don't have a shiny beautiful checkered room at the end, I have a dark abyss and the ground beneath me is glass so clean that it's as if I'm standing on nothing.
The table in the room is lit up though and the bottle says drink me. I drink the bottle but it makes me numb. My feelings disappear, but I don't want them to disappear. I want my feeling to be there, but I just want them to feel less overflowing. I want them to feel less crushing.
I eat the cake thinking that the perfect balance of both will make an even balance of emotions. However the cake makes my feelings so large that I feel like I'm suffocating. They become worse than they were before. I feel like I'm dying and as I begin to cry I can't breath. Thinking becomes hard and the bottle floats away from me.
I'm not Alice. The liquid is gone and the sea of tears is rising. I can't shrink the feelings back down and I can't shrink myself back down. I'm drowning in my tears and the panic won't stop. The tear trap me on a sand barge made of my own heart and the inlet is rising. I can't get myself to float. I'm emotionally dying. I'm drowning in the sea of emotions and I can't get above the water. I'm gone and it feels like forever.
Soon it all stops and the emotion is gone and I am gone. I'm no longer feeling. I'm no longer breathing. I'm gone.
But this isn't the end. This battle my have taken me, but I won't let it kill me. I will survive. I will survive emotionally and physically. I am strong. I am gonna make it. I AM GOING TO SURVIVE.
YOU ARE READING
Depression, Anxiety, and other Tragedies
PoetryThis is just a book of different spoken word poems and things I wrote while I was in my "Dark Days." If you are sensitive towards Suicidal Content then you probably shouldn't read.
