25) 'Getting Blamed For Others' Actions' And Other Problems That Will Never...

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25) 'Getting Blamed For Others' Actions' And Other Problems That Will Never Really Go Away If You'll Never Stop Being A Pushover

Benjamin wasn't precisely what one would call 'book smart', but then again, he wasn't precisely what one would call 'street smart' either. Not to say he wasn't smart at all, just... not the kind of 'smart' needed for situations like these. Was he overreacting?

The worst part was, he couldn't tell anyone. Couldn't ask for advice, lest he give his parents a heart attack, and the squad...


"It's useless, Martin. He's been staring at my apple for five minutes straight."

"Ben, do you want to make out with Pi's apple?"

"Thighman!" called out Heston, like they weren't supposed to be working on an assignment, "your boyfriend is—"

"Heston!" screeched the rest of the squad in unison.

They were kicked out of the classroom.

Pi was fuming. If Benjamin remembered correctly, prior to getting assimilated into the squad, he had been that 5.0-GPA-perfect-attendance-record-perfect-behavior-kid because, to quote him, Asian parents. He'd once overheard something about the teachers telling Pi to 'get along with a group what could match up to his potential', which was a fancy way of telling him to get new friends because the squad sucked. This was one of the moments where he could see why.

To be fair, they usually got into trouble because of Heston. And Martin, to a lesser degree.

"Can you stop doing that?" Pi asked, "Seriously, it's not even funny anymore. If they call my parents, I'm dead."

"I have no parents," said Heston.

"I said you're not funny."

"Guys," peeped Messiah. "Relax. We're all friends here."

Martin huffed.

Messiah shot him a look. "You don't even have a reason to be angry."

"It's all Benjamin's fault."

As though summoned, Benjamin managed a, "Huh?"

"It's all your fault," Heston said.

"It's all your fault," Martin said.

"Blaming people for things they shouldn't do is a bad thing," Messiah said.

"Euthanasia should be legal," Pi said.

Before Benjamin could add a contribution of his own, the door to the classroom opened. They tried, in vain, to scramble up in time, but the teacher just said, "I know you all sit when I tell you stand outside the classroom. What I wanted to say is, we need to talk. Head to the principal's office now. I'll meet you there."


Now Pi was fuming. Messiah, too. Prior to the squad, Messiah's only felonies had been setting the school lunch on fire because it had meat and posting #downwithcis posters around the school without permission. He'd gotten better. Besides, his former group had disbanded. Martin was fuming because he wanted to be cool, too. Benjamin was fuming because, really, with friends like these who needed enemies?

The principal was playing dominoes when they walked into the room. Upon noticing them, she tried, and failed, to hide them in time, and so they clinked all over the floor and her lap. She pretended not to notice, and thus, they pretended not to notice, either.

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