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Chapter Twenty Two
Another day another dollar.Clifford and I were on the road again and heading home.He was driving,obviously.I was looking out the window.
"Did you have a good time"I asked.He was quietly staring at the road.Tapping his fingers on the wheel.
"Are you going to talk to me?"I asked.He didn't move.This morning Clifford didn't speak to me didn't look me in the eye nothing.
"Are you ever going to talk to me?"I asked.He still didn't move a muscle.How mad or numb was he?He was like a soldier with no hesitation in his eyes or doubt in his posture.I threw my hands up in defeat.
"That's great,perfect.A mute mate"I said.He slammed his foot on the breaks.My head hit the headboard in front of me and I was jerked back.I touched my head.
"Ouch?"I said.Way to warn a girl.
"Shut up"He said staring at me.His eyes looked tired of my annoyance.
"It's always about you huh?"He said with a joke hiding in his voice.
"It's the fact you have a mute mate,or you don't have anyone to talk to or you have a mate that's straight.You are so fucking selfish do you know that?"
"You're not selfish enough.Literally you are the most selfless person I've met and that is not a compliment.You think no one should know you or care about you,your too humble to let people see the goodness in you and I'm tired of trying "I snapped.I opened the door
"Where are you going?"He said.
"Anywhere else.I quit,I am being the selfish one and I am leaving."I'm shouted.
"Get back here"He shouted.
"No.Know you can have your fucking silence"I said running off into the woods.Trust me my description sounds like I am running into a woods filled with fairies but I wasn't.I had not one inkling where I was going.He hopped out the car and jogged toward me
"What is wrong with you."I turned around and I could see a nerve being pulled in his lips."Why can't you just be constant.You are always storming off and staring arguments.One day I'm not going to chase you"
"I never wanted you to"I said.He stopped walking.We are too indecisive together.I always know what I want,and Clifford makes me want and not want things at the same time,my mind is on drunk and my heart had stayed sober.
"Do you mean that?"He said in a low voice
"Yes.Just go home,please."I said.He turned around and left.I saw his figure walk off into the fog and I was left alone just as I wanted.
What was going on with me?
We always want to be alone but we don't want to feel lonely,but right now loneliness will do.I welcome the loneliness.
Fuck Fate too
Maybe Clifford and I were too different.There are those couples that compliment one another and they shine,but with me and Clifford we are what's fight bringing out the worst in each other.Thats not what he needed,not what I needed,for now I was okay with being lost and I hoped for a small second Clifford would just forget who I was and continue his life,and I would become a runaway,running to any alpha worth listening to.Maybe I needed time to myself.My feet shuffled and I knew being a wolf as hear and alone in the woods wasn't okay,and there is not justification to make it okay.
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