Saving my Own Soul

V (Revamping)

*Sayria's grandparents on the top left, Sayria's mother on the middle, and her father in the top right.
*Sayria's uncle on the bottom left, Sayria's brother in the middle and her sister on the bottom right.

We had made it to my parent's house right at five.

"We're thirty-minutes late" I sighed, not wanting to hear my mother's mouth for being late.

"Girl there's nobody here but ya parents' cars" she pointed to the cars parked in the garage.

"I still don't like being late for things."

"But that's how you make your grand entrance honey. Plus half of your family is always late to this thing."

I laughed to myself. I mean she had a point there, most of the family is late to these sorts of things. But one thing I know for sure is that they always made sure that they're there. When I was younger I remember no matter how busy we all were during the rest of the year, we always made time during the holidays to spend time together. I think that's why I've grown so close and attached to my family.

Growing up, my cousins practically were my best friends, aside from Mica and Summayyah. Of course over the years I've grown slightly apart from my family, but that's only due to how my life is set up now. I like to use the excuse that I'm always busy with work, but the thing is, you should never be too busy for family, especially with the family I grew up in.

The truth is, I've allowed one thing to dictate the way that I live my life, without even realizing it. Sad thing is, it's not something I can just escape. Sometimes I believe there's no escape to the way things have become. No matter what anyone says at the end of the day, you're the one trapped in your own life, and nobody can dig you out the deep hole but you.

I don't think anyone realizes how much I'm hurting, how much I grieve. No one understands, and even if I told them to help them understand, they would only blame me for getting involved in the first place. That's not the case, a lot of times you can't see the future, only what's right in front of you. And what I saw was something beautiful and positive to be added to my life.

By the time I noticed the signs, I was already buried in my own mess. But I try to stay happy, I really do, for the good of others. Mama always told me to be good to people, but sometimes, it can be so hard. And sometimes, I believe I won't be strong enough to get through this.

I walked into the house greeted by the smell of fresh cookies baking and the aroma of smoke from my father's grill. I missed this, I really did. Although it was only thirty minutes away, I felt so much farther than that. My eyes gazed at every picture hanging against the wall. I smiled at the old pictures, as memories began to flood back. One particular picture although stood out above the rest. My fingers grazed against the photograph, imagining every detail and moment that happened that day.

"Babe, what are you doing, where are you taking me?" I laughed, as I tumbled and tripped on everything.

I continued to walk on. I had no idea where I was going. He had blindfolded me before I got in the car, so I had no idea where we were headed. All I could do was trust him as I held tightly onto his hand, as he led me wherever he was taking me.

"Deshawn, can I take this stupid blindfold off?" I began grabbing the back of the scarf to untie it. I felt his hand stop me.

"Will you just be patient, damn. Can't surprise you with nothing, Geez!" he chuckled, grabbing hold of my hand once again.

Suddenly I felt something squishy, soft, and cold, begin to slip into my shoes the more I stepped. I felt my feet begin to sink into the grainy soft substance under my feet. I squealed with excitement.