Chloe and I decided we needed some catch up time, so she finally separated herself from Michael and she came home, picking up some food from a small Indian take away shop and then renting some movies on the way.
After I had showered and put on my pyjamas, even though it wasn't even 6:30 yet, I joined her on the lounge and she handed me my container of butter chicken and she pressed play, making Wayne's World start.
"So, you and Luke" She wiggles her brows at me and I furrow mine back.
"What?" I ask, pushing the chicken around the container with my fork, trying not to spill it.
"Oh come on. Don't play dumb" She slurps up her curry before continuing. "It's so obvious that something is going on"
"Well, I mean, he's cute and he's a dork and he's so sweet, and his jokes are really cheesy and he's always so warm and his eyes are the most amazing things I've ever seen and he's so weird and- Oh my god, I like Luke" I blurt out, almost choking on my own spit.
"Wait. What!? What did you just- oh my God! Katie, oh my God" Chloe gushes with wide eyes.
"Ok, no, this stays between me and you. Don't even tell Michael, you swear?"
"Pinky promise" She smiles and holds out her small finger and I do the same, and we link them together. "I think he likes you" Chloe says, nodding to herself.
"As if he ever could" I sigh and she shakes her head at me.
"Honey, he travelled the whole half an hour to your work just so he could see you"
"Only because he don't have anyone else to hang around with" I point out and she smiles.
"Love, we were all there, all day" She informs me and my heart flips a little.
"Even if he did, which I highly doubt, it wouldn't matter. I can't do it" I say, shaking my head. I put my untouched container of food on the coffee table as discreetly as possible but Chloe catches on and she glares at me.
"What do you mean?" She asks me.
"I can't. I'm not in the place for a relationship"
"When will you be? You've been saying that for 4 years" She sighs.
"Maybe one day, but that day is not today" I say, shaking my head. I hadn't even thought about this before. The possibility of me liking Luke was so out of the question that I never believe it could actually happen, and I guess that's why I never payed any attention to the obvious things I felt for him.
"I think it is" She whispers.
"I'm in my pyjamas" I point out and she chuckles, shaking her head.
"I think I could doll you up in 20 minutes" She says, giving me a sly smile. I almost reject the idea but then the excitement of taking such a risk hits me and I'm jumping to me feet and clasping my hands together in front of me.
"We better get started, then"
By 7 o'clock, I had my hair twisted like it was at my birthday, my makeup fairly simple, just dark around the eyes and a bit of lip gloss, and I had a black beanie on my head, with Hype written on it in cursive, white writing. My upper half was covered in my favourite worn out black Nirvana singlet, and I wore black skinny jeans that were held up by a studded belt. I added a red flannelette over the top that was rolled up to my elbows, keeping me slightly warm. I threw on my black vans and rushed out of the house, giving Chloe an excited hug on the way out.
She gave me a whole pep talk while she was putting on my face, and it calmed my nerves a bit, but my stomach was still churning away. I left the complex and walked along the street until I reached the car, glad that I could unlock it with a button. I don't think I'd be able to get the key into the slot with the amount of shaking my hands were doing at the moment.
I slid into the black car, putting my music on really loud to try and drown out the negative thoughts in my head that were trying to talk me out of doing this. I couldn't turn back now. I was at their apartment.
I got out of the car and locked it, fixing up my beanie and pulling down my singlet before walking inside and walking up the stairs, wanting to prolong this as much as possible.
I reached the door and lifted my fist, knocking 3 times before stepping back. I actually felt like collapsing, I was so nervous, and I worked on stopping my knocking knees as I waited for the door to open. And when it did, and I saw him standing there, his blonde hair styled perfectly, his smile that spread across his face and his blue eyes that crinkled slightly because of it, I could've sworn my heart fell out of my arse.
"Oh, hey Kate, what're you doing here?" He asks, looking slightly confused, obviously because of the amount of effort I had clearly put into my appearance.
"I'm just gonna cut straight to it, no bullshit, because it'll only make it harder for me" I begin, trying not to ramble. "But I came to tell you that I-"
"Luke? Who is it?" A female voice says and suddenly a girl is standing at his side and his arm goes straight around her shoulders, pulling her into him with ease, as if he had done it so many times before.
"Katie, this is Natasha, Tash this is Katie" Luke says, waving between the two of us. So I wasn't hearing things when I thought he said Tash the other day? "Katie is Michael's girlfriends best friend and a friend of ours, too." Luke explains and I force a smile. "This is my girlfriend, Tash" He says with a grin and I feel a lump in my throat.
"Lovely to meet you" I say through my teeth. I can help but instantly hate the brown haired girl in front of me. Her hair is long and looks naturally curly, the tips blonde. Her eyes are big and brown and she has an almost perfect figure that instantly makes me self conscience. She is absolutely beautiful. I want her dead.
"You too" She smiles.
"Luke, can I talk to you for a sec?" I ask and he nods, but little miss universe is still standing next to him. "In private" I snap and she glares at me.
"I'll be inside in a bit" Luke says and she kisses him right on the lips for way too long and I know she did it on purpose by the way she looks at me afterwards before sauntering inside and slamming the door behind herself.
I shouldn't feel angry at him. I shouldn't, I know I shouldn't. But I do. I'm so angry I feel like I could burst.
"You have a girlfriend?" I ask, and I know he can tell I'm pissed.
"Uh, yeah..?" He says slowly, looking utterly confused as to why I'm making such a big deal out of this. "We've been together for, like, 2 and a half years" He says.
"You never told me you had a girlfriend" I try and keep my voice calm but it's hard.
"I guess it never came up" He shrugs.
"Well it's kind of important information" I point out, my blood boiling.
"Sorry?" He says.
"No. Luke, I am sorry. I'm sorry I came here. I'm sorry I tried to look nice for you. I'm sorry I fell for you so quickly, no matter how much I tried not to. I thought you were different. I thought you weren't going to hurt me and I made the mistake I seem to make a lot and I trusted you."
"Goodbye Luke. Have fun with your whore" I say and I go to turn around but I stop. "Oh, and by the way Natasha" I say and I open the door, feeling it hit something hard and I hear the girl yelp, as she had obviously been spying on our conversation through the door, just as I had suspected. "Put on some actual clothes. Your undeniable skank is showing" I spit at her and I try to walk away but Luke grabs my wrist and spins me around.
"You aren't seriously getting angry at me for having a girlfriend, are you?" He asks in disbelief.
"No. I'm angry at you for lying to me and I'm angry at myself for letting this happen"
"What did I even lie to you about!?" He asks, his voice raising.
"You made me believe that I actually had a chance at being happy! But now I see, that couldn't be further from the truth" The volume of my voice is almost matching his, raising with every word.
"I don't really understand what is happening right now, but can I just point out, I've done nothing wrong"
"Well, you could've given me some heads up! Maybe a little, 'oh hey I'm dating this girl so don't fall for me'. That would've been nice. It's obvious how you feel about her, though, because you have not mentioned her once" I point out and he sighs, putting a hand through his hair.
"Look, I am sorry that this had to happen, but I don't get why you are so angry at me"
"Im so done talking to you" I seethe, my voice low and raspy, filled with anger, and with that, I turn on my heel and I put my fingers up in the air as I walk away, leaving a stunned Luke, my dignity, and a few pieces of my shattered heart that I had worked so hard on duct taping back together, and I feel completely embarrassed. I send a quick text to Chloe and get in my car, driving to my next destination, absolutely fuming.
'Luke has a girlfriend. Going to get fucked up. Be home sometime in the next few days or so...'
To say I was shocked would be the understatement of the century. I wasn't just shocked, I was almost positive I would probably feel a lump in my underwear if it weren't for the fact that I was completely numb. My mind was going a million miles a minute as I tried I process what just happened. Katie showed up, yelled at me for having a girlfriend, told me she liked me, called my girlfriend a whore, yelled at me a bit and then waltzed out with her middle finger raised proudly in the air. It just didn't make sense. I thought she still hated me.
"Luke, come on!" Natasha whines, tugging at my arm that my head was resting on. I had been sat on the lounge for the past five minutes, not able to move. I wanted to chase after Katie but I knew Natasha wouldn't like that, so I did what I had to do and I stayed.
"Just stop!" I yell, finally snapping. The whole Katie thing had me completely worked up and I wasn't in the mood for her needy whining right now.
"Don't yell at me!" She challenges, looking offended and I just roll my eyes at her. I know I'm being unfair and a horrible boyfriend right now but I honestly couldn't care less. "I don't get why you are so wound up over some chick. I think you're forgetting that I am the girlfriend here" She sighs, twirling a piece of her hair. I used to think she looked cute while doing that but right now, the action is only pissing me off more.
"She's not just some 'chick'. She's my friend and I don't like that she's upset right now"
"I'm sorry, baby, I know" Natasha coos and she sits in my lap, wrapping her hands around my neck and leaning in to kiss me and I kiss her back, sighing.
"I love you" I tell her and she hesitates, making a noise and I pull away from her, standing up and she falls onto the couch. She has never even taken a second thought before saying it back to me before. "Why did you stop?" I ask her.
"Cut the bullshit. Why did you stop?" I ask again.
"You don't feel the same anymore, do you?" I ask her, my heart slowly dissolving with every apologetic look she gives me.
"Do you?" I repeat, wanting answers but she doesn't supply them. "Fucking answer me, God dammit!" I yell, picking up an empty plate from the table and throwing it at the wall and she squeals a bit.
"I'm pregnant!" She blurts out and I swear my heart stops for a second.
I'm going to be a father.
Oh God, no.
"We haven't... it's been more than 3 months since we..." I trail off, my voice much quieter now.
"Luke, I'm sorry, I didn't know what I was doing and I-"
"How many times?"
"How many fucking times did you fuck someone else while we were together!?" I yell, making the question clear so that she will have to answer.
"Get out" I point to the door and her eyes widen.
"No, Luke, baby come on! Come on, we can do this! We can raise a child together. Please, Luke, don't do this" She pleads, tears forming in her eyes.
"If you think I'm going to father a baby that isn't even mine at 17 with a woman that has cheated on me 12 times, you are fucking wrong. Get out of my sight" I glare at her, pointing at the door.
"Luke, please, it was a mistake"
"No. No, this was a mistake. Now get the fuck out before I throw you out. I hope your kid turns out nothing like you, so that it has more of a future than sucking dicks for a living" My voice is uneven, along with my breathing, and she whimpers as if my words were actual physical things that hit her.
"Good bye Luke"
"Just fuck off already!" I scream and she finally scurries out, and I slam the door behind her, so hard I'm surprised it doesn't break. "Fuck" I yell, punching the wall. My fist goes straight through the thin dry-wall, making my knuckles throb but I hardly feel it. "Fuck!" I scream even louder and I kick the wall this time, before spinning around and sliding down until I'm on the ground, my back against the wall and my head in my hands as I cry and scream.
"Mate" I hear Calum sigh and I feel his arms go around me, pulling my head into his chest and I cry into it.
"Why is everything so fucked up?" I sob.
"I don't know, Luke. I really don't know" He says, hugging me tighter to his body. I almost forgot he was home. Ashton and Michael had both gone home to visit their families for dinner and they would probably be out for a while longer, as I think it's only 9:00 by now. Calum stayed in his room, probably writing some music, and he would've heard everything. I'm glad, because I'm not ready to relive the last hour and a half of my life.
"12 times. Did I do something wrong?" I whimper.
"No. No, Luke, it's not you. It was her. She is nothing now, you won't ever have to see her again, I promise" Calum tries to assure me but I only cry harder. As much as I hate the girl right now, and despite all of my anger, it still hurts to think I will never see her again.