oreo // lashton

perfect.

And as long as I can feel you holding on. I won't fall, even if you said I was wrong.

I'm not perfect but I keep trying cause that's what I said I would do from the start.

I'm not alive if I'm lonely, so please don't leave. Was it something I said or just my personality?

Making every kind of silence, It takes a lot to realize

Its worse to finish then to start all over and never let it lie.

And as long as I can feel you holding on. I won't fall, even if you said I was wrong.

Perfect ~ Hedley

~

Harry's POV

I was going to spend the night with Zayn. He hasn't changed one bit. You know, besides the bullying he did and shit. I just wish he wasn't afraid. Afraid to be different. Afraid of how he'll be treated. He's just too damn afraid. Wait, right? That is why he hasn't apologized to Ashton yet, right?

"Why haven't you apologized to Ashton yet?" I asked him. It has to be fear, right? 

"Well, uh, I guess I was afraid?" It came out more like a question. Did I call it or not?

"You didn't sound too certain." I told him. He got a frustrated look on his face.

"I-I'm not, to be honest." He confirmed. Called it this time.

"Well, then what's your real reason, Z?" I asked him. He just sat there for a bit.

"I.." He said, trailing off after one word. He looked pretty goddamn confused. He also looked like he was about to cry. Shit.

"You don't have to tell me right now." I told him, trying to comfort him a bit. I want to see the Zayn I used to know, the one that gets excited at the mention of Ashton's name, not upset.

"I want to tell you! I swear I want to tell you! It's just, I'm not even homophobic and...just..." He trailed off a-fucking-gain. Whoa, I'm starting to sound like Ashton. He's infected me! Not with the gay. At least, I don't think with the gay...

"Just...?" I said, motioning for him to go on.

I didn't get an answer, though. I just got him leaning in and kissing me.

~

Ashton's POV

I normally cut at night, but I frankly didn't give a fuck. I was home alone, even though I should be at school. Who cares, though? 

No one. 

Exactly.

I turned on my radio and walked to the bathroom. Just to be safe if someone enters. Then they won't be able to hear me crying.

I grabbed my razor and sat on the bathroom floor. I put the metal against my uncovered wrist, examining all the other cuts. There were faded pink ones, but then there were recent red ones. I dragged the razor across my wrist, watching as red beads of blood came out, eventually running down my wrist. I repeatedly dragged it across my wrist, switching to the other when all I could see was basically red. I covered my other wrist and was about to do my thighs when I heard a knock on the bathroom door.

~

Luke's POV

I followed Ashton to his house. I don't care how stalkerish that sounds, he could get hurt. Well, he is hurt, but he could get hurt more. Who knows where Zayn went? Besides, he might even get hurt by himself.

I entered the house that he did five minutes after him. The door was unlocked, so I just opened it. Yes, I did knock, but there was no answer. That kind of scared me.

"Ashton?" I called out. There was no answer, so I guessed he was wherever the music was. I followed the sound to a room that had "ASH xx" on the door with black duct-tape. I'm guessing this is his room.

No guessing, Luke. It fucking says his name.

I opened the door and looked around. I saw a lot of band posters and drum set. I noticed the radio producing the sound was on a shelf, along with a couple pictures in frames. There was a picture of him and some children, which I'm guessing are the siblings he was talking about. "I Miss You" was engraved on the top of the frame, and "To The Moon And Back" was on the bottom.

I didn't see Ashton, though. I turned around and noticed a door with light shining out of the bottom. He must be in there, right? What is behind that door, though? It's probably a bathroom. Wait...bathroom. SHIT!

It was locked. I banged on the door. "Ashton?" I yelled, "Ashton, you in there?"

I didn't get a response.

"Ashton, mate, it's okay to come out." I yelled.

"Ashton?!" I screamed.

"I WILL BREAK THIS MOTHERFUCKING DOOR DOWN! DON'T THINK I'M SHITTING YOU, 'CAUSE I SWEAR I'M NOT!" I shouted at the top of my lungs, banging on the door much harder and louder.

I backed up then ran towards the door with my shoulder. Let me tell you, that failed so fucking much. I landed on my bum, and frowned. I smiled when I saw Ashton open the door. He was wearing long-sleeves, so I couldn't see if he did anything.

"Are you okay, Lukey?" He asked me, rushing over to me and putting his hands on my shoulders. 

"No, are you okay?" I asked.

"Yeah, I was just taking a piss. Chill out." He said, laughing.

"I thought you hated me?" I said, confused.

"I-I do." He said, taking his hands off my shoulders. He obviously lied. Whatever. I can't get him to admit he doesn't.

I looked at him, noticing the bruise under his eye, just above his extremely noticeable cheek bone. I looked down at my hands, but noticing his instead. I trailed up his arms, noticing the red liquid seeping through his white hoodie. 

I didn't hesitate. I grabbed his hands and rolled up his sleeves before he could stop me. My heart broke when all I saw was red on his arms. He had a scared and sad look on his face. I stood up and picked him up, easily carrying him bridal style to the bathroom. He was too shocked to protest.

I cleaned off the blood, gently wrapping his cuts in bandages. I can't keep letting this happen. Even though this is the first time I've seen him do it, I know he's done it before. I could tell due to the other scars on his arms.

We both waited in silence while I cleaned his wrists. Neither of us dared to talk, especially him.

"Why?" I asked him. I don't care if it's what someone would expect me to ask. I want to fucking know the answer.

"You probably know." He told me. I actually did. Damn bullying.

"P-please try to stop." I said, letting the tears just flow out of my eyes. I can't be strong when he needs me to be. Fuck.

He shook his head. He was crying, too, but he hadn't stopped since I first saw the cuts.

Why can't you stop?" I asked him. 

"I won't stop until I'm perfect."

~