Crescendo

Chapter 27

Soundtrack for this chapter:
My Way—Frank Sinatra*
The Chain—Fleetwood Mac
Colder Weather—Zac Brown Band

27

Jules

The day after Christmas, I woke to the distant notes of a familiar Sinatra song being played out on the piano. He only played in the morning when he had a rough night, but after celebrating the best Christmas ever, I didn't see how anything in the world could have gotten him down.

I padded down the steps of Theo's home, humming all the way down along to the music. When I got to the bench, he slid over, fingers never lifting from the keys, and I sat beside him. As he entered the next chorus, I sang just loud enough for him to hear.

Any one of Sinatra's songs could be considered his greatest, but as Theo played and as I sang, I recognized why that one was my favorite. All of my life I'd wanted to do things my way, just to be told that my way was the most unacceptable thing I could have ever fathomed. But, then, I was finally granted the chance to really do something my way, to take my life into my own hands for the remainder of it; I hoped I'd get to live a wonderfully long life with Theo.

When his fingers pressed out the final notes, his lips came down onto my head.

"Jules?"

"Hm?"

"Will you please let my dad help you?"

I turned to face him on the bench, a half smile on my mouth. "So that's what this was? Entice me with a Sinatra wakeup just to bring me crashing back into reality?"

"You said we could discuss it after Christmas, and, well, it's after Christmas. I want you to be free from all of their shit, Jules. You deserve that much."

"I too would like to be free from their, um, shit, but I don't believe it's going to be that easy."

"Dad will make it easy. Or, at least, as easy as he can. Just talk to him. If he can't represent you, he can at least give you some legal advice."

"I can't—"

"You can. Remember when he fixed your guitar? I told you, he'd consider it an insult if you tried to pay him. Just, please, Jules. Do this for yourself. Get the information, the correct information, you need before moving forward."

"I just wanted to be able to do this on my own, to—"

He put his hands up between us. "Everyone needs help sometimes, Jules. Everyone needs to utilize their resources and take assistance when it's being offered to them. It doesn't make you any less of a person to admit that you need help in this; you're going to need help with this."

But I couldn't hold back the one fear I was repressing most anymore. "And what exactly will your parents think of me after all of this? I'll be nothing more than a married woman who deceived their son into entering into an adulterous relationship."

His eyes softened. "Is that really what you think? No one would blame you for leaving that fucking prick. No one would think less of you after hearing about what a shitshow your marriage was. You're not an adulterer, Jules. Don't ever consider yourself that."

His right hand came up and swept a single tear from my cheek.

"I just don't want them to hate me, or be disappointed in me. I don't want to lose your family any less than I want to lose you."

"You're not going to lose any of us. Dad has dealt with far crazier situations. He's your answer to this."

I felt my head nodding in Theo's direction, but I was still so unsure. Losing the connection I had with his parents would be worst thing to come out of that conversation.