Hidden Feelings

23.

Valencia Carter

"Where you been?" Sebastian asked me when I entered his house. I've been here for so long, I don't remember what my apartment looks like.

I sat next to him, propping my feet up on his lap, "If I tell you, are you going to get mad at me?"

"Probably, you do a lot of shit to piss me off." He said bluntly making me suck my teeth. He's so annoying.

"Then I'm not telling you."

"Valencia, stop playing with me. Go ahead and say it."

"I went to Dave's-"

"Why am I still hearing this nigga's name? The fuck you go over his house for?" He pushed my feet off his lap.

"Can I finish?" I blinked, with a straight face. Waiting for him to say something else, I stared at him until he didn't. "I went to Dave's house and we talked. He was saying how he never got closure with Ivory when they broke up and maybe that was the reason he never fully got over her."

"What does this have to with you?" He said in a bored tone, as if he didn't want to hear what I was talking about.

Rolling my eyes, "I was thinking that maybe I need closure too...with Tobias."

"Tobias? For what?"

"I've talked to Saadia about our past, she's told me why, answered all my questions. I got closure. Tobias and I had one run in, which wasn't good and I never got to know why."

I feel I haven't gotten to forgive both people that did me horrible and my past with Tobias is interfering with my love life now. It's taken me all this time to express my feelings, but I feel like I'm only giving half of myself.

Even with David I a part of me feel that I had to hold up a guard. I don't want to be like that with Sebastian. I want the chance to be vulnerable with him.

"When we do decide to further our relationship, I want to give you my all. I want to know why he did what he did."

"Valencia, he was an asshole who didn't give a fuck about other people's feelings. He was using you, that's the reason he did it."

"You don't know that. This is why I don't bother telling you anything." I rolled my eyes.

"Do what the fuck you want. I don't care anymore."

"I will."

"Okay."

"Alright."

"Fine."

"Sebastian, shut up. I swear I hate your ass."

"You wasn't saying that when I had you bent over the counter so I don't want to hear that shit." He waved me off.

"You make me sick. I heard Tobias is in jail so I'm going to find out where and visit him." I told him. Of course I knew he probably wasn't going to want that, but I'm not looking for his approval.

"No."

"I was telling you, I wasn't asking."

"You know what, I'm not going to continue this conversation with you because you're pissing me off." He got up and went upstairs without another word.

He's being childish, I'm doing this for us and he's acting like a brat. Instead of letting him walk away, I followed him all the way upstairs to his room, the room we've been sharing for the past couple days.

"So you're going to walk away from me like a child?" I passed, placing my hands on my hips.

"I'm not trying to be bothered with your ass right now."