Regret and Apologies

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Mission Mate with Y/N
Uh...are we still doing this, Jungkook?

You lay in the darkness of your bedroom, stuff as a board under the sheets. Your arms are crossed over your chest and you're glaring at your ceiling. Feelings are whirling around inside of your at light speed, a chaotic tornado that's sure to burst at any moment.
You're angry still, but not at Jungkook.
You're angry at yourself.
What did you just do?
How is it Jungkook's fault that you keep taking his words along with a deeper meaning? How is he to blame for your twisted mind?
He's an innocent, a newly-minted human who doesn't understand social context and alternate ways to take words. But after hearing him whisper like that, low and rough and smooth, your entire body caught on fire. You had to deal with it some way, and jumping your pet rabbit wasn't a good option, so you let that slow burn change into the quick fire of anger. You took out your anger on the sweetest, most kind-hearted person you know.
You hit him for your mistake, and then you kicked him out.
What kind of person are you?
The thought of your precious baby sad and alone, sleeping on the couch in Jimin's apartment, breaks your heart into too many pieces to count.
Not to mention, you miss the warm comfort of his body curled around yours. The bed feels cold and empty without your honey bunny in it.
"I can't take this," you whisper.
Pushing yourself out of bed, you grab a jacket and jog to the front door.
You're getting your bunny back.
Whipping open the heavy obstacle, you screech in shock when someone's already taking up the space.
Clutching your chest, you blink at Jungkook, who's standing in the doorway with a pillow under his arm, fist poised to knock on the door. His brown hair shimmers in the hallway lights, huge, sparkling black eyes ringed with red. He's been crying.
"N-Noona," he stutters at your abrupt appearance. "I was just about to-"
Your violent hug cuts off his sentence. You lunge at him and wrap your arms around his tiny waist as tight as you can manage.Breath catching in surprise, Jungkook immediately throws the pillow the the floor and embraces you back.
"I'm sorry, Noona," he whimpers, soft voice muffled even further by the fabric of your pajamas. "I'll do better, I promise."
"No, honey," you soothe tearfully. Having his sweet form back in your arms makes your regret intensify by a thousand times. "You didn't do anything wrong. It was my fault. I'm so sorry, Kookie, you didn't deserve any of that."
A strained whine squeaks out of his throat, a shudder racking his body. "I'm sorry, Noona. I'm sorry."
A hint of tears slips into his voice, making it croaky like a frog's. You bite your lower lip and slide an arm around his slim waist.
"Grab that pillow," you tell him. "Come on, let's go inside."
He does as you tell him, allowing you to lead him inside your apartment. As you go, he leans his weight on you, as if he's too weak to walk on his own.
You feel even guiltier.
"Why do you have that?" you ask, indicating the fluffy white thing in his arms.
Jungkook blinks, eyes shifting to the pillow. "Oh, this? I was gonna sleep on the couch. I didn't want you to be uncomfortable."
And that was the end of Y/N.
Your heart feels like it's just exploded in your chest, scattering debris and gore throughout your whole body.
Jungkook looks at you with his huge, beautiful eyes, full bottom lip quivering, and your mouth tightens in anguish.
Tears of regret and sorrow spring to your eyes. "Sweetheart, no," you sob. "You don't have to do that. I'm so sorry, Jungkook."
You throw yourself at him for the second time, squeezing around his waist with all of your might so he can feel the sincerity in it. You know that you're supposed to be the strong one who takes care of him, but the enormity of how you've treated the beautiful creature in front of you finally crashes down, and you go weak in Jungkook's arms.
"I'm so sorry," you cry. You move your hands up and cup his face in your palms, letting your fingers curved around the sting edge of his jawline.
"Noona, it's okay," says the man softly. "I'm sorry for making you angry. I was just trying to-"
"No, my sweet baby boy. Don't apologize for anything." Overwhelmed with emotions, you can't do anything but cling to him.
What is this that you're doing? Feeling sorry for yourself when he's the one that's been wronged. You're pathetic.
When you open your eyes, Jungkook's eyebrows are furrowed in worry.
"Don't cry, Noona," he says gently. One of his fingers lifts, swiping away the moisture under your eyes, then drops down to take your hand.
Jungkook pulls you into your bedroom and sits you on the bed, immediately placing himself beside you and cuddling into you.
When the two of you have been there for a while, and you've caught your breath back and forced he tears away, you exhale and look up at your rabbit.
"I'm sorry," you say again, biting your lower lip. "It's just...I said and did some really mean things, Jungkook, and you didn't deserve them. I'm so sorry, honey. I can't tell you how much."
You watch his face, melting into those dark eyes that are as deep as the ocean.
The very end of Jungkook's nose twitches.
He takes one of your hands in his and intertwines your fingers.
"It's okay," he says. "I forgive you. I know why you were angry."
He knows?
Embarrassed that he could perceive your less-than-holy thoughts, you grimace and hide your face.
"I know. It was stupid, right?" Muffled by your hands covering up your face, your voice cracks in humiliation. "You would never try anything. You're too innocent and sweet."
There's silence from the other side of your hands. "Try...anything?"
"Yeah." You peek between your fingers, only to find Jungkook staring at you with wide, alert eyes. "You know, like trying to mate with me again. You weren't, right?"
He doesn't answer.
Wait a freaking second.
He isn't answering you.
"You weren't trying to mate with me," you ask firmly and slowly, suspicion budding rapidly in your mind. "Were you, Kookie?"
", well, not exactly that..."
You freeze and gape at the tone of his voice. He's sheepish, and embarrassed. He's guilty.
He's avoiding the answer.
So you rotate on the bed, sitting cross-legged to face him head on. You look into those big doe eyes and narrow your own.
"Jungkookie," you whisper in your best warning tone. "If there's something you need to tell me, you should tell me right. Now."
He breaks immediately.
"Jimin hyung suggested it!" Jungkook cries. "He said he'd teach me to produce you!"
Produce y...what the ever loving heck?
"Produce?" you question.
"No, no that wasn't it." His adorable brows furrow, pretty white teeth clamping down on his lower lip. "!" His hands clap together in victory, but you're stone still.
"Did you just say...seduce?" Your voice is eerily calm, even to your own ears.
The sound makes Jungkook pause and glance at you. "Right," he whispers. "And hyung showed me the videos too, Noona. And I wanted to do that with you, but I decided that-"
"Videos?" There's a yawning, gaping cavern of horror hollowing our your stomach, growing ever larger and consuming you. "What videos? What are you taking about?"
"The porn!"
The porn.
"Oh," you say flippantly.
You laugh.
"The porn."
More laughter, but this time it's the crazy kind. The kind of laughter that means your head is about to spontaneously combust.
Quietly, you stand up. Across the room is a familiar object, neon pink and flexible, which you grab and flex experimentally in your hand.
Your trusty sidekick, the Pink Fly Swatter of Justice.
There's fear in Jungkook's eyes.
"What did I do?" Jungkook whines. "I don't like that thing."
You don't glance at him, or turn in his direction. "Oh, don't worry, love. This isn't for you."
Then you stalk out of your bedroom, and out of your apartment.
And you bang a fist on Park Jimin's door.

I'm about to take my finals.
Please pray for me.

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