I feel like such an a fool. I hope no one else notices that I'm staring at her, but I don't care. She looks perfect sitting at her desk, dark hair pin straight and wearing a little red dress that I wish I could rip off her here and now. It hugs her figure, showing every curve and slope of her body, showing everything I wish was mine again.
All I can think about since two nights ago is having her like I used to; she would take me wherever, whenever. We were crazy kids, the definition of hormonal teenagers and didn't even care what other people thought about us. It was amazing at the time, but looking back I wished I had savored it more. I wish I had cherished the times we were together, I should have paid more attention to the small moments we would have every so often. I didn't though, and that's why I lost her because I never showed her how I actually felt about her and what she truly meant to me. I took her for granted when really she was all I needed and all I wanted.
As much as I've tried to keep myself in check since she came home, and as much as I've tried to convince myself that I feel nothing, I know now that that is not the case. When it comes to Skylar I can't help but feel something. I don't know what that something is but it's more than just physical attraction which I have and will always have toward her. It's more than just wanting her, it's needing her and not in the way that I've had her. I need her to be mine again.
I have to admit that my plan didn't work as well as I had hoped. I know she doesn't want to be with me, but I need her so badly I'm willing to do anything. I figured if I told her all I wanted was sex with no emotions, she would be more likely to agree. I thought that if I couldn't be connected to her in an emotional way, I could at least feel connected to her in a physical way and I'd be happy with that. What I wasn't expecting was that I would want her much more after being with her like that again. It was amazing, but lacking. We were always too good together physically because that was a way for us to both express how much we loved each other. I know that night wasn't the same for her as it was for me. I put all my emotion into it like I always used to, but I'm sure it was just sex for her.
One thing is for sure, and I knew it as soon as my lips met hers for the first time in three years. I know now that I never stopped loving Skylar, and her leaving only made me love her more.
I should have just told her how I felt despite the consequences.
My head snaps away from her and up to Scott's face who is hovering over me. He is watching me curiously, eyes narrowed in thought and I can feel the panicked expression I have set on my face.
"Everything alright over here?" He asks slowly, his eyes moving to the untouched papers strewn across my desk.
"Yeah, just working..." I say, my voice uneasy.
"Don't give me that load of crap," he says, rolling his eyes and he chuckles softly. "I'd like to talk to you in my office."
"You mean your desk in the corner?" I reply smartly.
"Shut up," he scolds and hits me playfully in the back of the head. "In the hallway then," he says, motioning to the door.
I nod and follow him out into the hallway, not really knowing what to expect. Thankfully Talia isn't at her desk to eavesdrop, that little nosey brat. Scott shuts the door to the office behind him so it's just the two of us in the hallway.
"What's up?" I ask, crossing my arms and leaning my shoulder against the wall.
"I've noticed you're not getting much done lately," Scott says slowly, folding his own arms over his chest.
YOU ARE READING
One. || h.s.Teen Fiction
(A Harry Styles AU) What if seeing each other again changed everything? Or then again, what if nothing changed? ... A toxics relationship is what she escaped from, but when Skylar Devin comes back home to New York after three years away in Los Ang...