- Song: The Thrill Of It All by Sam Smith -
I wake up, my eyes stinging as I hear muffled voices at the end of my bed. I hear a familiar British accent feeling my heart go crazy at the thought of Harry. Though, Zayn's head pops up from the floor as he quickly stands up. I feel deep hatred towards him even though he hasn't done anything wrong... I just feel angry towards everyone right now. "Wait, I'll be back Perrie." He puts his phone down and looks at me, his eyes glisten from the moon's emitting light. Has he been crying? Has he been in here to make sure I'm okay? To make sure I won't sneak out?
I walk towards my open window seeing Harry's light through his curtains, though Zayn stops me. "Zayn, please. I need to do this." I turn to see him nod and open my bedroom door. "You can use the door downstairs. No one's awake but I'll wait for you in here." I nod once again and leave him alone in the quite house. "I love you Perrie." I hear him say before I close the door.
I walk over to Harry's house, feeling anxious and angry, hurt and brokenhearted. I feel the courage in me build up, helping me knock on his doors. I wait anxiously, fiddling with the zip of Zayn's leather jacket. After a few minutes, I feel as if he's intentionally not opening the door though why would he? Has he realized I know? Is he tired of me?
My overthinking stops when the devil himself opens the door. His dimpled smile ripping my heart to pieces. He pulls me in, shutting the door. He leans in to kiss me but I turn my head and feel his soft agonizing lips press onto my cheeks. I push him back with every courage I have left in my body.
"Who's is this?" He asks pointing to the jacket. I hesitate to answer and instead just explode in front of him but my heart answers for him. "Zayn's." He only laughs, his laugh not brining joy to me but instead even more anger. "So you're fu.cking him now?"
"Fu.ck you." I breathe out, feeling tears run down my eyes so easily like a waterfall. "What was that?" He asks thinking I'm playing his stupid game. He approaches me but I move back. "I hate you! I hate you so much!" I scream pushing him though he stands still. "What the f.uck Clementine?"
"I'm not playing your games anymore! YOU'RE A SICK BASTARD!" He remains quite. "I don't understand.."
"Oh you don't understand!? You have a wife Harry! YOU HAVE A WIFE!" I scream and cry banging my hands on his hard chest. "What....?"
"Stop playing around! I know. I'M NOT STUPID! Not anymore!" It takes him a few seconds until he replies "You don't understand Clementine..." "Oh I understand, I understand alright. I UNDERSTAND THAT YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE!" I hiccup feeling a lump form in my throat.
"It's not like it matters anyway!" He yells running his hands on his hair. His hair that I missed touching, the soft curl sticking out at 7 in the morning. "W-what?" I stand still and laugh."I-Clementine- You don't-"
"You're such a heartless piece of- ARGH! 'It's not like it matters.' ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! IS THAT IT?!" He stops and turns to look at me. His eyes change from serious to something I haven't seen before, sorry.
"You know for once I thought I finally had someone. For once I felt safe, not just because I was away from my abusive mother but because I was with you." I say trying to catch my breathe. He remains quiet, silence killing every fragile second passing.
He tries to speak but I cut him off "I thought I loved you Harry. And now, I-I feel so stupid. So stupid." I cry falling to my knees seeing my muddled reflection on the tiles. "I let you touch me, I let you be my first. I thought, I couldn't have asked for a better person to be my first, my forever. But all a-along, y-you had a wife!"
"I feel so disgusting, I feel like a pig and I hope you do as we-" "Clementine, please let em explain." His eyes become teary but I shake my head. "I hate you Harry. I hate you so much and I wish Il NEVER MET YOU! I WISH I DIDN'T GIVE YOU ALL OF ME. I WISH I DIDN'T HAND MY VIRGINITY SO EASILY JUST LIKE THOSE OTHER GIRLS. I WISH YOU ROT IN HELL!" I manage to stand up, screaming with anger and rage. Banging my hands on his chest hoping he'd beg for forgiveness. Hoping he'd change but he stands as if he's feet were already drilled to the ground. And it was. His mistakes, our mistakes, have been done and can't be undone without leaving a heavy mark.
So, I walk towards the door.
He grabs my arm, pleading for me to listen and stay. For me to listen to his bullshit words that I'll believe because I'm naive. I turn my head to see tears roll down his beautiful emerald green eyes. "Tell Georgia, I'm sorry." I gulf. His face sinks, shaking his head "Clementine, you- please let me explain."
I'm not going to let him fool me twice. He's don't it once, not again.
"Goodbye Harry." I pull my arm and walk away, tempted to turn my head back and run to him. To fall into his arms and kiss his soft pink lips. To make love and to wake up safe and sound in his arms. To see his dimpled smile, to see his forest green eyes.
Goodbye because I won't be here anymore. Goodbye because I'm no longer your Princess.
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Did this make you sad? It kinda, sorta mae me sad ASDFGHJKL;
I got me biscuits, sweets and iced-coffee, ready to smash this sh.itttttt out and write and write and write and procrastinate on schoolwork. I should be doing school work but YOU GUYS MAKE ME SO HAPPY THAT I NEED TO JUST UPDATE AND RETURN THE FAVOUR OF HAPPINESS.
Thank you for having Hey Kitten rank at #463 on Fanfiction (27/11/17)