Chapter I

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   Dear Evan Hansen


   Today is going to be an amazing day and here's why because today all you have to do is just be yourself but also confident, that's important, like easy to talk to, approachable, but mostly be yourself, like that's #1, be yourself. Just be true to yourself. 


   Also though don't worry about whether your hands are going to get sweaty for no reason. You can't make it stop no matter what you do because they're not gonna get sweaty. So I don't even know why you're bringing it up because it's not going to happen because all you have to do is be yourself. 

   I'm not even gonna worry about it because seriously it's not gonna be like that time where you had the perfect chance to introduce yourself to Connor Murphy after his sister's jazz band concert last year and you waited afterwards just to talk to him and tell him how good his sister was and you were gonna pretend to be super casual like you didn't even know his name and he would introduce himself and you would like "I'm sorry I didn't hear you, Colin, you said your name was Colin?" And then he would be like "No it's Connor." And you would be like "Well so you see I thought you said Colin because I'm just very busy with other stuff right now." 

   But you didn't even end up saying anything to him because you were scared and your hands were sweaty, which they weren't that sweaty but you started worrying they were sweaty which made them sweaty so you put them under the hand dryer in the bathroom so they weren't sweaty they were just very warm now as well...

~

   Evan's phone began to ring. His mom wasn't taking him to school this morning. He would take the bus. This happened often, and Evan was used to it by this point. Evan told her it was fine but he actually hated the bus. It was torture walking through the aisle, accidentally hitting people with his bag, wondering if he's going to slow for the people behind him, or mumbling too quietly for the bus driver to hear his "hello," or "you too."

   As he heard the bell for break to start, he grabbed his bag and stuffed his books into it and headed to the computer lab. There, Evan was printing his letter. Then his frien- no. Evan's family friend walked up with the type of fake swag that only the truly insecure can pull off. "Hi Jared," Evan muttered.

   "Hey!" Jared announced loudly. "How's my best friend doing? Ya know you had to print the English essays in MLA right?" 

   "No I know. This isn't the um essay. It's an assignment for my therapy." Evan waited for the paper to come all the way out of the printer before he quickly grabbed it. Evan held it for an extra second because he enjoys the warm feeling of freshly printed pages. He tried to stuff it into his backpack before Jared could grab it, but he had been appreciating the warmth of the paper for too long. 

   "Dear Evan Hansen, today's going to be..." Jared whispered, reading to himself. 

   "Um Jared? C-Can I please have that back?" Evan had snatched it away, slightly ripping the corner. Thankfully, Jared hadn't read to the part about Connor or else Jared would have teased Evan already.

   "Whatever, dude. I'll let you write your sex letters or whatev-"

   "Um what? What se- What sex letter?"

   "Never mind, dude. I'm gonna go say hi to my friends soooo later," Jared said, although he said it in a way that it seemed like Jared wanted to stay with Evan. Evan noted this and sat at a desk to reread his letter. Why couldn't he just talk to people? Why couldn't he just be normal, less anxious, more outgoing? 

   Because of those thoughts, Evan sat with his face in his hand, sitting at the desk. A girl came over to Evan, disgruntled. She fixed her hair a bit and sat at the chair right across from Evan. Evan didn't know what to do so he looked up and sheepishly nodded as if it were sign language for "hi," and he looked back down, tugging on a thread on his shirt. 

   "Oh. Evan, right?"

   Evan looked up slowly. He nodded roughly. 

   "Not a talker?"

   Evan shook his head the same way. The girl giggled. She looks kind of like Con-

   "I'm Zoe, by the way. Zoe Murphy."

   "No I know you. I.. Wait. That sounded bad. I'm sorry. I'm- you're uh Zoe Murphy? Connor's sist-"

   "Um yeah. But uh I.. Never mind. Sooo what's up? Why do you look sad?" Zoe asked. She smiled at Evan.

   "Well," he began. For some reason it seemed easy to open up to her and to talk to her. "I don't know. I just am so nervous and timid and.. I just, well, I hate it. I wish I could just be normal and talk to people normally. You know?" Evan looked to where Jared had been. Jared left.

   "Actually I, well, I can imagine. That probably sounded silly," Zoe said.

   "Not really," Evan chuckled. The bell rang and Evan saw Jared walk out from between bookshelves. Jared doesn't usually look at books. He looks at girls.

   Evan picked up his bag and the chemistry book Zoe had almost forgotten. "Thanks, Ev. Er.. Evan."

   "Ev? It's okay," Evan said, smiling. 

   "I can call you Ev? Sweet! See you around. Ah here's my phone number so we can text too! Bye," Zoe said, excitedly, handing Evan a small post-it with numbers written on it. 

   "Um thanks, Zoe. I'll see you," Evan replied, similarly excited.

   When Evan got outside the computer lab to go to his class, Jared was waiting there to walk with him. 

~~~

Hey look 983 words :3

I'm writing stuff again! And I've made up my mind that I am going to delete the Philidosia one because ew..

I have outlined this book for myself which made it a lot easier to write so hopefully it will be better than my other stories.

Thanks for reading!

P.S. Check out my Be More Chill/Hamilton Crossover thing if you haven't already. It's odd.

Thanks again!

-Kayla

..But Not Because We're Gay - A Tree Bros Fanfic (Dear Evan Hansen)Read this story for FREE!