Yours;Yoonmin (sequel to Mine;Namjin)

Park Jimin

It hurts.
My body still hurts. All I feel anymore is pain. Mentally, physically, psychologically. My internal muscles hurt, my stomach hurts from self starvation, and my brain hurts. I just want to shut it off and not think anymore. I want everyone to stop asking me what's wrong and if I'll be ok.
I know they love me and just care but I just don't anymore. Care, that is. I want to disappear and not be. I'm glad when Jin hyung gives up and leaves me alone. I toss the food in the trash and go back to staring at the ceiling.
The doctor is coming back today and I hate it. I don't need an examination. I'm fine. Speaking of the devil, the doctor comes in without knocking making me roll my eyes. He brings his handy black bag and sits in a chair across from my bed.
"I think you know why I'm here, Master Park. I've taken blood samples and ran them through...I had some...interesting developments pop up, though." He frowns and I study his intrigued expression. What now?
"What?" I whisper, my voice cracking slightly from disuse.
He pulls out some papers. "I know you went through your needing, correct? I was sworn I would not reveal it to anyone else and I have not...but I'm worried about your current condition." He sighs and I sit up, more alert now.
"What's wrong?"
He rubs his temples before handing over my blood work. "You're pregnant. I'm sorry as I'm sure this comes as a shock to you. I'm under the impression you've had unprotected sex? From the time of your needing-it lines up. I don't know who the father is and I won't ask but you should probably let them know. You're a little over a month pregnant now." He announces.
I don't reply. Pregnant. I test the word out in my mind with cold disassociation. How is this possible from the way I've been treating my body lately?
He eyes me as I remain silent. "Are you going to tell your brother?" He asks.
I wad the papers up and shake my head. "N-no." This can't be happening to me. Why can't I just live my life? I refuse to cry about it, though. What's the point in telling Yoongi, too? He doesn't want me and wouldn't want it either. I know this for a fact.
"Is this all? Can I rest now?" I sigh.
He frowns. "You need to start eating healthy, Master Park. This time is crucial to the baby's development. I trust you to take good care of yourself from now on." He says sternly, getting up.
I nod, numbly, just wanting him gone. He leaves soon after and I put my hand over my stomach. Suddenly...this whole situation is funny to me. Fucking hilarious. I start laughing into tears fall from my eyes, all the while staring up at the ceiling and remembering how this happened in the first place. That night with Yoongi hyung.
He was so good to me, so attentive and caring...then overnight he changed. Like a flip of a coin, he went from worshipping my body to pushing it away and demanding me to forget it and never mention it to anyone. Like I'm his dirty little secret he wants gone. Well, he certainly got his wish.
Then life has to throw this at me. A baby? Yoongi's baby...maybe in another life if I was female and worthy of love...he'd want me and the baby. But not like this, here and now. It's simply not meant to be.

I lock myself in my bedroom so no one will bother me as I contemplate my situation. I can't tell Jin hyung. He's about to have a baby of his own and doesn't need the stress of my life. I can't tell any of my friends because I don't want to be a freak and have them look at me differently. Holding back my tears, I open the window to my second floor balcony and just lean against the railing, taking in the clean fresh night air.
It would be so easy...so so easy to end it all. All I'd have to do is climb over this small cement slab and...jump. So simple. Over. Done. No more pain or regret. No more judgement or rejection. Just...sweet nothing.
Curious of how it'd feel, I carefully climb to stand on the base of the railing and hold on to the awning, admiring the view from this height. I feel free here. Closing my eyes, I let myself away with the gentle wind and wonder what it'd feel like to just let go. I won't. I'm not brave enough for that but I just want to feel something.
I hear knocking on my door but ignore it since my door is locked. I make to climb down, now feeling foolish for taking such a risk when my door bursts open to an angry looking Namjoon. Our eyes meet and I flinch, my foot slipping from the balcony. I manage a small gasp before my body is flung over the two story railing with huge momentum.
I hear screams but don't know if its theirs or mine and as I sail down to my imminent death, I have a flash of Yoongi's face in my mind. And a little baby that looks just like him...
I don't feel anything but I do hear a sickening crack as my body connects to the hard ground below and everything goes black instantly.

I love you guys don't hate me😭