Chapter 10 ~ 3rd of February 2007

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I'm still not over the fact Demi is probably out of my life forever.

The last month she hasn't been on school. People thought she was sick, but teachers thought she had to go to auditions, which was what I thought at first as well.

How am I? Broken from the inside, trash from the outside and I can't concentrate on anything. I keep thinking about Demi and how much she actually means to me. The bad part about it is that she probably already forgot about me. I understand.

You don't wanna be friends with someone who ever has been friends with your bullies.

The past week I haven't been to school as well. I felt too sick, too depressed to actually function.

But yesterday I became crazy. I couldn't stand it anymore and I needed to know the truth. The truth about everything. Very early in the morning I woke up. I put on my clothes, made breakfast and after I ate that I went upstairs again. I searched for the list of people in my class. I looked at Sarah's picture. Next to Demi. Demi's cute smile and Sarah's stupid face. I looked at the adress of Sarah. I grabbed a pair of scissors out of my drawer, cut out the adress of Sarah and before I walked out of my room I spat on Kayla's picture.

Wish I could do that in real life.

With my backpack I walked to the house of Sarah. It was Saturday. The weather was pretty nice for a day in February. Along my way I saw people from my class. As soon as they saw me they started whispering and laughing. I sighed and walked further. Then I arrived at the house of Sarah. I stood in front of her door. That moment I started doubting, but eventually I rang the bell. An old woman opened the door. "Hello, dear." She said with a smile. "H-hello.. I'm looking for.." I stopped talking and looked around. Is this the right adress? I looked at the adress I was holding in my hand. Then I looked back to the old woman. "I'm looking for.. Sarah." I said. The woman stepped inside and called out Sarah's name. I heard a loud sigh coming from upstairs. Then I heard the stairs and all of a sudden Sarah stood next to the old woman. As soon as she saw me her eyes got bigger. "What are you doing here, Brooks." She said angry. "Can I talk to you? Please?" I asked. Sarah looked at the old woman and back at me again. She rolled with her eyes and sighed. "Come in." She said annoyed. Surprised I walked inside. I looked around. It looked pretty nice inside, but it wasn't what I expected. I expected a huge mansion, you know. "Do you want something to drink?" Sarah asked. "No, thankyou." I said. "Well, let's go upstairs then." Sarah said and together we walked upstairs. Her room looked cool. Posters, pictures, a little messy, just like mine, and cozy. "Nice room." I said. "Thanks." Sarah sat down on the chair in the corner of her room. She signed that I had to sit down next to her, on the other chair. A little shy I sat down. "So. What do you want to talk about with me?" Sarah asked like she didn't know what was coming. After three minutes of silence I started speaking. "Why?" I asked. "Why what?" "Why did you and Kayla make that more than ridiculous petition?" Sarah started laughing. She stood up. "It was deserved." She said while still laughing. "Deserved? What has she ever done to you and especially Kayla?" I asked. "Well, she.." Sarah stopped talking. "Yeah? What did she do?" I asked again. "She.. She's just fat and annoying." Sarah said while thinking she was smart. "Excuse me?" I stood up. "Fat and annoying?" I asked. "Yeah, fat and annoying. You heard that right." Sarah said. "Demi isn't fat at all, but apparently you're just blind. Also, she's not annoying. She's funny, really nice and cared about me when you and Kayla didn't." I said. "She's obviously fat. I mean, come on." Sarah said and started laughing. "Demi isn't fat! In fact she-" I stopped talking. "In fact she what? Hello? In fact what!?" Sarah asked. "Shanon, talk! What did she-" "She's starving herself just because of you and Kayla, and if she goes any further in this she'll.. She'll die.." I said with tears in my eyes. It became silent. I looked at Sarah who was staring at the ground. I walked up to her. "So?" I asked. "What 'so'?" "Do you feel guilty already? Do you realize what you and Kayla have done?" Sarah looked from me to the ground. She stared at it for a while. "I'm such a.. Such a bitch.." She said. She sat down on her bed. I didn't know what to say, so I just sat down next to her.

Time passed by while we were still sitting on Sarah's bed. "Shanon.. I..-" Sarah sighed. "What?" I asked. "Why is she starving herself?" Sarah asked. "Because you two kept calling her a fat pig. One of you two sent a message with, and yes I read it: 'Your mom better not made too much food for your Christmas dinner. It'll make you even more fat, pig' and besides that you two are so full of it, you're such bullies." I said disgusted of them. Sarah looked at me. "But.. I didn't send that message.." She said. "Then who was it?" "It must've been Kayla." I looked at Sarah and sighed. "It doesn't matter who it was actually. Why did you even start bullying Demi as soon as you got in our class? If you didn't start all this, it wouldn't have happened and we wouldn't have been here, in your room, talking about why you and Kayla were terribly wrong." Sarah looked at me. "I just.. I was..-" She said. "Yeah..?" I asked. "I was jealous." She said. My eyes got bigger. "You really were just.. You were jealous? Is that the reason why you bullied her?" I asked. Sarah nodded. "Jealous of what?" "Her life.." "What do you mean?" Sarah stood up and walked towards a closet. She opened it, grabbed a box out of it, put it on the floor and opened the box. Curious I looked inside the box. "Wow.." I said. The box was full of Disney Channel stuff. "As a kid I always dreamed of being on tv, to act in the best series, to be on Disney Channel, everything." Sarah said. "When I came in your class, I saw Demi. I immediately recognized her. I remembered she was in Barney and Friends. The jealousy kicked in and.. That's the main reason why I bullied Demi. Because of jealousy." Sarah said while looking at the box. "Why didn't you just ask her about her life? I mean, if you showed some interest instead of bullying her, you two would be like friends now. She loves to talk about something that makes her happy and believe me, she IS really nice. You didn't see that, because you were jealous. And because you were jealous, yet popular, everyone believed you in the fact Demi is a bad person. Kayla even chose for your side, and she always liked Demi. And that petition? I mean, what was the purpose of that?" I asked angry. "Well.. I thought that.. It'd make her not wanting to act anymore.. So.. I could show up, pretending I'm Demi so I could be in that series?" Sarah said. I stood up. "What?! First of all, they always ask for papers and you have to come with your parents, that's what Demi told me. Second of all, just let Demi do what she loves to do! By the way, that petition isn't holding her back for doing that series anyways. She'll make it. She'll be famous for what she can one day, even though she maybe isn't desperate for fame. And listen, Sarah. If she becomes famous because of her talent, if she's on tv, if she's on stage, remember we had this conversation. You'll see." I said. I walked out of Sarah's room. For a few seconds I stood in front of her door, then I walked downstairs. Right when I wanted to walk outside I felt a hand on my shoulder. "Shanon, wait." Sarah said. I turned around. "What?" I asked. "I want to apologise to Demi." She said. "Well, at least you can try, but believe me. You won't get her trust anymore. Never. You even lost my trust." I said. Sarah sighed. I saw tears coming out of her eyes. "I'd do anything to apologise to Demi. I just want to say sorry for everything I've done. It's okay if she doesn't want to talk with me, but... Maybe you can say it for me?" Sarah asked almost begging. "I wish I could. Do you remember you put MY name under that petition? Because of that I've lost my best and only friend. You can apologise to Demi yourself, Sarah. Goodbye." I said and I walked away.

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