Chapter Five

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I'd lost track of time.
People were telling me it was now Sunday, which meant three days since the dreaded accident.
Three whole fucking days and Bailey wasn't awake yet.
They'd stopped the bleeding, given her two blood transfusions and moved her down to straight ICU, but she still wouldn't wake up.
The machines situated around the hospital bed made beeping, hissing and sucking noises.
She had a tube stuck up her nose and one down her throat, aiding her breathing while her body lay motionless on the stark white sheets.
I'd hold onto her hand, where once again needles and tubes were lodged in, hoping and praying I'd feel a return squeeze from her, but day after day, it never happened.
I'd all but forgotten what the outside world looked like.
The furthest I'd ventured out was to have a smoke.
Other than that, somebody brought me in fresh clothes and other necessities each day and I'd use a small shower in one of the Hospital's bathroom's to get somewhat clean.
Only Bailey's family was permitted to visit at this time, because she was still in an Intensive Care part of the Hospital.
Heath was the exception, because he was My Brother and was eventually going to be Bailey's Brother In Law.
Other than that, everybody else got to hear any news second hand, particularly because she was still unconscious and we were waiting for her to wake up.
I found myself once again staring at Bailey's listless face, my heart crumbling inside my chest.
It wasn't right, to see her so pale and still.
Stabs of pain still speared my heart, just from remembering the agony of the last few days and watching her laying motionless in this god damn bed.
"Mister Riley?"
At the sound of a quiet voice, I turned around, my left hand still intertwined with Bailey's right one.
A Nurse stood at the half open door, dressed in a pencil skirt with a blue shirt tucked into the waistband.
"Loralai Riley is her to see you."
She explained.
Jax had told me on something like Thursday afternoon that she wanted to come up.
I don't even remember what my answer had been, but she didn't arrive, so I'm guessing Jax probably suggested she held off.
I guess by now she was sick of being kept in the dark because I wasn't answering or returning any phone calls.
"Kylie is here and she said she will come sit with Bailey."
The Nurse told me, her voice quiet and kind.
It would be best for somebody to be with Bailey, just in case she finally woke up.
Though I definitely wanted to be there when she finally does.
There's so fucking much that I have to say to her!
And I know first hand what it's like to wake up in Hospital after severe Trauma.
I carefully lifted her hand and placed a kiss on the back of it, flicking my eyes up to check her face.
Not even a flutter of her eyelashes answered me and my stupid heart twisted painfully.
I just want her to fucking wake up...
"I'll be back."
I informed her, my idiot voice cracking due to hardly being used.
The Doctor's insisted we talk to her when we were sitting with her, but I for one felt like a damned fool chatting away to a motionless body.
I'll talk to her when she woke up.
Though I wasn't too ashamed to admit that on a couple of occasions my fear, desperation and sheer exhaustion had lead me to a meltdown where I'd been a tears flowing, blubbering mess as I gripped her hand and found myself begging for her to just fucking wake up.
I forced myself out of the hard plastic chair, inch by inch.
The hardest part was having to let go of her hand.
In the last three days I'd spent no more than maybe an hour away from her bedside.
I really had to force myself to release my grip on her fingers and take a step back from the bed.
"I just gotta talk to Mum."
I muttered, my throat thick.
I wasn't necessarily a belieber that she could hear me right now.
But i didn't want to leave her airboat explaining why, just in case.
Swallowing hard, I turned on my heel, my heart piercing with a shooting pain and I headed for the door where the Nurse was still for some reason standing.
"You really need to take a break."
The Nurse informed me, eyeing me over, a slight frown marring her brow.
I probably indeed looked like hell.
I couldn't remember the last time I'd shaved and it certainly wasn't since the accident.
But I was at least showering every day, even if it was only quickly, because I couldn't stand the idea of not being there if Bailey woke.
I couldn't remember the last time I'd eaten.
Though Jax, Lukas, Isaiah, Grace, Heath, Codie and Keegan have all tried to get me to ingest some and any kind of food.
I just couldn't even stomach the idea of putting food into my mouth, let alone trying to swallow it.
I'll eat when Bailey wakes up.
I hadn't told anybody that, but I was fairly certain they all probably understood it by now.
I told the Nurse, stepping around her.
Bailey's not out of the woods.
If she was, she wouldn't still be in ICU and she would be awake.
There was no way I could get on with every day life while hers still hung in the balance.
I turned away from the Nurse and headed down the corridor, towards the waiting area.
That was most likely where I would find Mum, because it was most likely the furthest point she had access to.
Indeed, when I pushed the dark blue double doors open, I spotted my Mum standing a few feet away from the reception desk, deep in conversation with Kylie.
She looked dressed up and well cared for, as she always seemed to these days, her hair done up and wearing a blue and white dress that reached the Hospital's floor.

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