Cowgirl Up Three ✔️

Chapter Four

Blayze

Thankfully the area of the Hospital I'd managed to walk into was pretty much a ghost town.
The long corridors were empty, only a few lights appearing to be on and not even a 'caution, wet floor' sign in sight.
I turned my back to the nearest wall and leaned against it, tipping my head back until it too rested against the hard wall and I stared at the white painted ceiling, my mind off on a wild ride.
The squeak of shoes on the lino floor reached my ear's, letting me know I indeed had company, but I chose to pretend not to notice, too busy focusing on my ragged breathing.
The pain that was in my chest was excruciating to say the least.
It felt like somebody had literally ripped my chest open and was hacking at my heart with a sharpened chainsaw.
My breathing was laboured, coming in shorter and rougher pants than I was used to.
Clenching my fists to the point that I could feel my knuckles straining wasn't remotely helpful.
Grinding my teeth together, I clenched my jaw as tight as I could and pushed myself off the wall, spinning around to throw my fists into the wall's plaster.
I swung hit after hit, welcoming the lancing pain through my hands and the flex of the plaster as with each hit it began to break.
"Hey! C'mon!"
I shrugged Jaxon's hands off, throwing another hard right hook into the wall, splinters of paint and plaster finally falling to the floor and the wall finally developing a hole in it.
"Blayze come on!"
Jaxon grabbed my shoulders and pulled me back from continuing my assault on the wall.
I spun around and pushed him off me, stumbling my own step backwards in the process, my chest painfully tight as I fought for breath.
"Talk to me."
Jaxon insisted.
I slumped backwards against the wall, gravity taking hold over my body and my weight sliding me down.
My boot soles slipped on the shiny lino floor and my arse soon collided with the hard floor, my teeth clamping painfully on my tongue upon impact.
The coppery taste of blood trickled on my tongue, but I couldn't really give a fuck.
Pain that was outside of my heart was welcome.
I bent my knees, wrapped my arms around my legs and tipped my head forward until my forehead was resting against my knees.
I couldn't breathe anymore, my chest way too tight.
I just couldn't fucking do this!
My entire body trembled and I could already taste the salt from my tears as they rolled down my cheeks and some ran into the corners of my mouth.

When I could finally stop shaking and the tears seemed to stop rolling in a seemingly endless flow, I sat with my back against the hard wall and used the backs of my hands to wipe over my stiff and crispy face that was filled with drying tear tracks, attempting to try to get a few somewhat normal breaths through my lungs.
"So what do you know so far?"
Jaxon asked.
I glanced to my left, to find my Cousin was sitting beside me on the lino floor, his back also against the wall, his legs stretched out in front of him unlike mine that were bent at the knees.
"I know that the accident scene was a fucking mess!"
My stupid voice hurt, sounding scratchy even to my own ears.
Jaxon attempted to keep a composed face, but I caught his slight flinch.
I propped my elbows on my knees and ran my fingers into my sweat dampened hair.
"Bailey was already being taken off in the Flying Doctor's chopper."
I gulped, my heart literally pounding inside my chest.
"She's seven months pregnant, Blayze."
Jaxon sighed.
"And she was in an accident."
I flinched.
Like I needed the reminder!
"It makes sense they'd get her to the Hospital as soon as possible."
Jax reasoned.
His words were acceptable in some kind of a universe, but they weren't enough for me.
My shoulders once again began to shake and I couldn't seem to stop it.
"We had a Fight last night."
I hated how painfully weak my voice sounded, but I couldn't seem to stop it.
I was being torn apart from the inside, out.
"And we didn't make up last night or this morning!"
Even to my own ears my voice cracked.
"So you go on in there and grovel on your knees when the Doctor comes and tells you it's time to go visit."
Although Jax's ridiculous need to 'look on the bright side' tended to most of the time piss me off, right at this moment I found some deep part of myself hoping against hope that this was one of the times he would be right.
But I still had to fight the urge to turn around and just punch him.
"At this stage of the game, you can't take no news as bad news Blayze, you'll send yourself into an early grave."
Jax insisted.
I turned my head to glare at him.
"Try being in my shoes for once Jax! Then you might get it!"
I snapped and scrambled up onto my feet.
"Where the fuck are you going?! ICU's this way!"
Jax shouted from behind me as I stormed down the corridor.
I wasn't going to sit around and listen to people attempt to tell me that 'thinking badly would only cause bad situations' or 'think positively and your thoughts will come true'.
Right now, all that mattered to me was that the love of my fucking life was currently probably fighting for her life.
I pushed yet another door out of my way and finally the heat of a South Australian Summer washed over me.
"Hey Cowboy."
Cowboy.
A piercing pain hit my chest at the mere mention of the term.
The excruciating fact however, was that Cowboy was what Bailey liked to sometimes call me.
Particularly when she was trying to twist my arm.
I snapped my head around to find a raven haired figure slowly approaching me.
She walked cautiously, almost like she was worried she might set off a bomb.
Emma.
A bad habit that we'd both used to fall into flashed in my mind and I turned to face her.
"You got any smokes?"
A small smile graced her lips and reached around to pull something out of her back pocket.
It turned out to be a pouch of tobacco, along with some filters and roley papers.
"I don't know if this counts as a good answer or a bad one."
She muttered, holding the pile out to me.
I grabbed the Do It Yourself cigarettes and set about rolling myself one, the task taking me a little while longer than it used to because it had been some time since I'd done it.