SUNSHINE IN THE RAIN./ KNJ

twelve

MONDAY
( 7:00 PM )
—

she casually slipped her shoes off , not minding where she placed them. she was exhausted , her classes and her job made the load hard to bear. she set her backpack on the couch, and sighed. she was ready to go ease her mind and slip away from the world by sleeping — but she couldn't. at least not this time.

she dragged her feet to the shower, to prepare her for what's to happen tonight. she didn't expect much, just a simple explanation and a farewell. even though she longed for more, she knew she couldn't really get what she desired.

she wrapped the dinosaur printed towel around her small frame and stepped out. she tossed the towel on her bed and grabbed her clothes. she threw her shirt over her head and pulled it down, having a bit of trouble pulling it down from her head that was a big big compared to her body. she squatted into her jeans, and laid down for a bit.

it was only 7:21, she was hungry from today's stressful day. she didn't want to go out, since she despised the cruel, outside world — but she was hungry, so she grabbed her phone and her perfectly wrapped box and headed out.

the same bell that she used to hear the ring of, became an everyday monotone bell sound when she opened the door. the same nostalgic feeling came rushing back, making her stumble on her two feet. she looked around, the yellow light bulbs gave the bakery a nice feeling to it. a feeling that was missing for a while, came back for a little bit.

she ordered two strawberry shortcake slices, and a cup of coffee. she sat there, staring at the dark color that filled her cup. she stirred the hot liquid with her white plastic spoon. she dipped the spoon in the coffee and plopped it in her mouth, with she regretted in an instant. the liquid leaving a burnt taste on her tongue. she looked down at her phone — 7:45, she was late.

she hurried out the shop, on the brink of leaving her belongings behind. juggling her house keys, a slice of cake, and a wrapped gift box in her hands, she ran down the bustling streets, everyone trying to rush home to their loved ones. she looked left and right, trying to find the designated park where they were supposed to be meeting at. she ran down to the park, trying to pinpoint where the tall bean was at — bingo.

—

he was sitting on the bench, five minutes before the agreed time. he was rehearing what he was going to say to her, to apologize? to admit his growing love for her? to tell her truth? everything was so complicated, she was very complicated he thought.

it was now 7:35, and there were no signs of her anywhere. he started to pick at his cuticles, wondering where she was. knowing her, she was probably overthinking, always being late to assigned meetings or get togethers. he grinned a bit at the memory of her banging on the door to their high school graduation party. so caught up in her emotions she lost track of time — perhaps history really does repeat itself.

—

she sat down, trying to catch her breath from all her chicken nuggets finally catching up to her. " hey hey, it's okay — breathe will ya ? " he laughed, her laughter accompanying him as well. she muttered a small apology on how she was so late, which was quietly dismissed by him.

it became silent for a while, not one knowing what to say to start the conversation, so no one said anything for a while. her thoughts began to block out all the noise and her heartbeat that seemed too loud, to an extent that she thought he could hear it too. she tucked her hair behind her ear, and handed him the perfectly wrapped box and the cake she purchased earlier.

he apologized, " im sorry i didn't bring anything — i didn't know we were going to be doing this " , he said. he truly didn't know what else to say, he didn't bring anything for her, he didn't even greet her properly, let alone a gift of some sort. " it's okay, it's to make up for my tardy ", she tried to make him feel less bad than he did, which slightly worked — slightly.

" the item in the box, is for you, for you and you only " , she said , not taking her eyes off of her shoes. he began to open it, trying not to ruin the wrapping. " oh for god sake just take it off! " she gently screamed. he let out a small breath of relief, for so he thought awkwardness was sure to ruin everything — but the feeling never came.

they laughed all night long, until nine o clock. they had to part ways, an ordeal that neither wished would happen, but both saw coming. he was hesitant for a second, but he decided to gather up his courage and hug her.

she was taken aback by such gesture, but nevertheless she relaxed in his arms. " remember, don't sleep too late, eat your meals, don't overwork yourself, and don't take the bracelet of — oh god i just spoiled the surprise. it's a bracelet" , she muttered into his chest. he laughed, a genuine laugh. " okay, and don't go out having sex with boys either okay " , which she gasped in horror. he held her head close to him, already missing her.

he kissed the top of her forehead and bid her goodbye — in which no one said i love you, but both feelings were subtly drowning.

—

she laid on her bed, her mind full of him. she looked back at all the text messages, and she finally deleted them — " i guess this really is goodbye " , as her tears finally started to roll down her cheeks.