Bad Boy Judah

f i f t y o n e

Stress alone keeps me up all night. The only thing I want to do is stare at my little Ryder snuggled tightly in the bed. A couple of shivers crawl up my arms. What's going to happen now?

Suddenly, a soft knock on the door alerts me.

"Rose? You in there?"

Hearing Judah's low whisper through the door impels me to quickly scoot off the bed. My hand hesitates, before turning the knob. I don't know what it is-a wave of relief, maybe? My eyes stare at him. Every ounce of doubt goes out the window. His eyes lift, meeting mine, as his forehead creases with worry.

"Judah," I exhale, wrapping my arms around him.

He does the same, and we stay silent in our embrace. It feels foreign and familiar at the same time. I don't mind it. I don't stop it. All I know is that I need an anchor.

"How's Ryder?" he asks firsts.

"He's asleep."

Judah looks down at me, as soon as I back away.

"When are we going back home?" I ask.

He looks away and sticks his hands in his pockets.

"I need some hard liquor," he sighs to himself, getting off topic.

I hit his arm, trying to get him back to focus on answering me. He smirks at how weak I am.

"If you think I'm staying here with you-you got another thing coming," I tell him.

His eyes peer into mine and his hand snakes around my waist, pulling me close.

I hold my breath, trying to keep my emotions in their place. As if nothing is ever enough, Judah's hands tighten their grip on me.

"I just want to hold you," Judah whispers in my ear, "I want to take care of you."

I let him... only because he's nearly died for me. My emotions make a fool out of me, as my cheeks warm up. I can't say I know what I want. I can't cope with what I want.

He then continues.

"I wish you were mine again."

His body generates heat, while my body melts. My abilities to think get all screwed up. Judah's forehead presses onto mine. My eyelids fall over my sight. I'm forced to breathe him in.

"I wish I never met you," I murmur, revealing all my insecurities.

"Not true," he lightly grins, looking down at me.

I stay quiet, despite his grey stare.

"I'll let you get some rest," he says.

I nod. He then lets me go and turns around.

"Judah," I interrupt.

He glances back at me. I don't know why I called him. I stand there with my mouth hanging open. My heart hangs out of my chest also.

"Goodnight," I manage to say, clasping my cold fingers together.

I wanted him to stay. I wanted to see him in the morning when I wake up. The old Judah would break boundaries, not do what's good for me. I stand there, waiting for him to sweep me off my feet. I'm brought back to the coldest day when we stood at the door of my dorm under a snowfall.

"Goodnight, Rose."

He closes the door and leaves.

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