Part 45 - Forgive and forget

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Jess's POV -------

"We should attack now, they wouldn't be expecting it" Glenn chimed, walking into the mess hall. "We aren't going anywhere" I replied, bouncing Judith up and down on my knee as she was sucking on her rubber duck Maggie had found. "They've been gone for ages Jess, what if something happened?" Glenn argued back. "They will be fine Glenn" he began to pace up and down. "We need to go down there!" he demanded, I sighed and turned to look at Glenn. "And do what? if it went wrong, they are in the middle of it all. They could get taken hostage or killed... A thousand things could go wrong... sit down and keep calm!" I raised my voice, Judith began to cry, I let out a sigh and went to rock her, calming her down. "Look they can take care of themselves" I said, calming my tone. Merle chuckled "Sorry baby, but your little boyfriends head could be on a pike real soon." My glace shot over to Merle, my eyes narrowing. "Don't say that to her man" Daryl snapped at his brother, defending me. "Woah don't get your panties in a twist little brother, I'm just staring the facts here" He put his arms up in defense. "It's not the right move.... Not now. We can't take the risk of putting them in the crossfire. That's my decision. It's final." Glenn approached me "Woah, woah, woah... since when were you in charge I thought Rick put me in charge?" I handed Judith to Beth and stood up. "Since you started making irrational fucking decisions... They'll be back soon, so we should stay put" I turned around and began to walk away "I'll take watch" I said quietly, and left the mess hall without another word.

I trudged to the top of the tower and took in a long drag of fresh air, I received an intoxicating surge of energy as the air entered my lungs. My glance shifted from one side of the field, to the other, looking for any other breaches apart fro. the massive hole at the entrance when the truck had come through. I began to think about him, the way he touched me, grabbed me and pushed me up against that wall. A long, cold shiver ran heavily down my spine, I shook the feeling off immediately and continued my watch. I looked towards the front gate to see a car, our car. "They're back!... Open the gate!" I screamed as the car drove through the gap in the fence, and up to the gate leading to the courtyard. I sprinted down the stairs, trying not to slip. I pushed the door open as Rick got out of the car, "Rick" I muttered to myself, he walked up to Carl and hugged him and he kissed Judith on the head, I watched him glance around until his eyes met mine, causing me to smile. He began to walk towards me, I stood on the spot waiting to wrap my arms around him. I pulled him into a long hug, I was so glad he was back safe. "I missed you" he whispered kiss my cheek afterwards. I pulled him closer, and looked over his shoulder checking on Hershel and Tom, Tom didn't look at all happy... what happened?

Tom POV -------

"Tom... Can I have a word?" Rick demanded after leaving Jess's arms and walking up to me, oh fuck here we go... I nodded and followed him into the cell block as he closed the door behind us, he looked around, I assume to make sure no one was around. His eyes narrowed as he placed his hands on his lips. "What happened back there? You could have jeopardised today!" His tone got louder as began to speak until he was shouting at me. What the fuck did he mean jeopardised today? "What are you taking about?"

"You going all fucking Sylvester Stallone on Martinez... And over what!?!" I stood back, I jeopardised today? "Hang on I'm not the one that fucked it up with the Governor... you did that, not me!" I shuffled in the spot, standing my ground, "What happened!" He shouted once again, prying and poking at the situation. "Jess! Okay? Jess... He bad mouthed her and it fucked me off so I went for him" Rick shook his head "You cant be serious" he scratched the back of his neck and turned to walk away. "You don't deserve her man!" I shouted, I had enough of his shit, "What?" He questioned, stopping in his tracks and staring me down, "You're never here! you're always fucking off and leaving her! I have taken better care for her then you have!" Rick chuckled, "I have ten other people to look after too, you know how hard that is?"

"He... Insulted her and I was defending her!... what was I supposed to do! just leave it?" I questioned, getting more and more frustrated by the second "Yes!" Rick argued back "I couldn't okay!... It's more than you do!" Rick approached my slowly, his eyes never leaving mine. "I think I'm doing just fine... And those times... When I leave? Its to protect everyone here and to keep them safe... Alive" He paused, his eyes still on me, he lifted his arm and scratched the back of his head. "You're right... I don't deserve her, she deserves better than me... So much better... But if she loves me like I love her, then its her choice and I won't influence that..." A hint of hope entered my mind, what if she doesn't love him? " And what if she doesn't feel the same way?" Rick's eyes fell from mine, he looked around, then back to me. "Then I'll walk away, I won't pressure her into deciding" he paused, not really knowing what to say. "None of you can pressure me into deciding..." I swivelled around on the spot to see Jess behind me, she approached Rick and I and stood between us.

"Jess you need to chose" I demanded in hope she would say my name. "Don't do this Tom" She replied back averting her eyes from mine and looked at Rick. "You have to! It's me or him" I pointed to Rick as I said this, my tone of voice began to raise, I wanted an answer, I couldn't wait any longer, I wanted Jess in my arms, to hold her and love her. Rick stood there, his eyes never left Jess's. She turned back to me, her eyes sad and sympathetic. "I think you already know my answer" she said, her soft pink lip beginning to quiver. "I thought you felt the sa-" I bean to say but I was cut off before I could finish my sentence "Well your wrong..."

"I don't feel the same way" Her tone was short and cold as she walked over to Rick, he placed his hand in hers as their fingers intertwined. My heart sank as I could feel a sickness at the pic of my stomach. "I'm sorry Tom but it's not going to happen" She pulled on Rick's arm and began to walk away, I couldn't just let her walk away like this. "Jess you can't!" She stopped and turned around "Can't what Tom?... Have a life?" I didn't know what to say, my mouth suddenly over took my brain. "I can take care of you and look after you better than he can! I don't even know why he's in charge!" Rick stepped forward "Watch your mouth man" no way, that was it. I couldn't take anymore of this. "Naw fuck you man! You don't know how she makes me feel!" I shouted pointing at Jess, my other hand scratching the back of my neck. I hadn't realised the others had congregated by the door watching. I walked up to Jess and grabbed her hand and put it in mine. "Jess... I love you... Please give me a chance" I she yanked her hand out of mine and turned to walk away "Get the fuck off of me!" She yelled, I went to follow her but Rick stopped me "Go and cool off! We'll talk about this later" he held me back and and tried to take me through to the mess hall.

I swung for him and missed sending me flying forward, he grabbed my arm and bent it behind me and rammed me into the wall "oof! Rick get the fuck off me!" He held me there, not giving in to my plea. "I can't do that unless you calm down" he said in a calm tone. "Okay...okay I'm calm" I lowered my tone considerably... I was still pissed off but I didn't like the feeling of my best friend pushed up against me. He let me go and walked off without another word. I needed somewhere to go, I wasn't gonna stay here if no one wanted me here. There is one place I could go...

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