Kiss Me Now, Kiss Me Never

Toast

Edward

"Not pregnant," I said softly, watching for Bella's reaction. She sighed and closed her eyes, though I wasn't sure of the reason. Was she as disappointed as I was?

For those moments, as Mom told us how she didn't want to hate Dad, I imagined a little boy with Bella's wavy, dark hair and my eyes. I imagined a little girl with blond-reddish hair, much like mine when I'd been younger, with matching eye color to her mother.

In those few minutes, I'd been envisioning myself running after a giggling child as I laughed all the while, right before I captured our baby in my arms.

"We'll leave you two alone," Mom murmured, but I was so numb that I wasn't even aware of much besides Bella. She finally opened her eyes and kept them on me as she walked over. Somewhere in my mind, I heard the distant sound of a door clicking closed.

"Are you okay?" she asked, taking the test from my hand to place on the counter behind me.

"It could be wrong," I said stupidly. It could be, but it likely wasn't. Suddenly, I was worried. Two to three weeks late could mean that there were various things that could be wrong with her.

Was it stress? Cancer? Fibroids or cysts? Fuck, we needed to get her to a doctor fast.

She must have read something in my eyes because she smiled gently. "You're disappointed, aren't you?"

I grasped her hips and pressed kisses on every fucking inch of her face, except her mouth. "Fuck yeah. I know it's kind of stupid, with everything we have going on right now, but yes. When I saw the results, I was disappointed that it said you weren't pregnant."

"The timing is way off, but I wanted that, too," she sighed beneath my touch. I pulled away, seeing the truth in her eyes. "But something changed, what is it?"

"Now I'm worried."

"Stress always does this to me," she said, wincing. She'd been under lots of stress as of late. "The last time I had a deadline for a book, afraid that I wasn't going to meet it, I think I missed two cycles."

"I think it'll be a good idea to make sure," I stated. "Can you please go in to see your doctor as a precaution?"

She nodded and pulled back. "You really okay?"

Nope, not really. There were so many things I wanted and all of them with her. Our future hung in the balance because of some stupid fucking curse. I didn't want it to anymore. I wanted everything, and I wasn't about to let some stupid shit that happened over a century ago take that away from me.

All I had to do was take what I wanted and hold on to it. I knew what it was and that was a future with the woman before me. But, as usual, the timing was way fucking off.

I couldn't ask her to marry me at the moment, though, considering we had thought for several minutes she could be pregnant. Despite the fact that we were disappointed about the test results, it didn't mean she was ready for me to drop on one knee and ask her.

Knowing her as well as I did, I was positive she'd think I only asked her because of what had just happened. We discussed marriage but nothing too serious, just enough to know that we were thinking along the same lines. We both wanted it; the question was when.

Though everything inside me burned to ask her, I knew I couldn't. Not yet, but soon. I already knew she was it for me. Only time would convince her of the same thing.

I took Bella's hands in mine, kissing the tips of her fingers. "Love you."

She smiled up at me, the tears that had fallen earlier gone. I returned her smile, looking down at her, realizing she'd removed her heels. I loved how even as she stood only to my shoulder, but she still fit so perfectly against me.

She bit her lip and her dark eyes told me everything I needed to know. She loved me, but it sort of hurt to do so. I knew all too well how she felt. The future, despite all our hopes, was still uncertain. All that uncertainty could lead to heartache.

"I love you, too, baby," she murmured, hugging me tightly. Then she grabbed my ass to lighten the mood, and I laughed against the top of her head. We held each other close for several minutes and I knew she was overanalyzing everything. As usual.

To bring us both out of our somber mood again, I curled a hand around the nape of her neck. "No matter what happens," I whispered as I nipped along her shoulder. "I'll still love you."

She wrapped her arms around my neck. "Me, too, no matter what," she confirmed.

I groaned and buried my nose against her neck and kissed the area gently. "Thank you. Thank you for letting me love you." Unable to resist, I my fingers curved over her ass, pulling her against me, and my other hand captured her hair. Tilting her head slightly, I licked and nipped at her shoulder some more.

"Thanks for loving me," she murmured and rubbed her hand along my crotch.

~oOo~

Since Bella didn't let me take her against the wall like I wanted to with my parents in the house, we joined them for dinner a few minutes later. Though tension was still high with what happened earlier, Bella put Mom at ease. For a while.

They were getting along easily as we ate. Dad apologized several times for butting into Bella's business and telling Mom about the possibility of being pregnant without telling us first. The problem was, despite Mom's feelings for Dad, she had him wrapped around her little finger.

I wondered how long they'd been seeing each other and that led my mind to places it should not go. No one wanted to think about their parents having sex.

Before leaving the bedroom, I made it clear to Bella that I wanted to know about our time apart. How she handled it and why Dad had to fucking sedate her. Shit like that scared the fuck out of me. She was way too damn fragile and felt that one more bad thing would shatter her completely.

I hated that she couldn't stomach telling me about her past attacks by those she cursed. She'd only told me enough to know that it never got too far. She had sent me to Charlie to get clearer answers.

And he'd delivered them almost clinically. She had suffered six fucking attacks on her in the past four years and it was one the main reasons she moved back home. All those incidents had occurred because she had so much trouble placing restraining orders on them. With her Dad on the force there and the right connections, she managed to get them easier with his help.

"Now that we know you're not pregnant," Mom started, making me and Dad groan out loud. "Do you mind telling me when we can expect another member of the family?"

I shook my head, ready to answer and tell her it was none of her business. However, Bella stopped me with a hand on my thigh. She smiled at my mother, instantly putting Mom's guard up. She wouldn't be easily swayed like Dad, who was already wrapped around Bella's finger.

"Is that what you really want to know, or was it something else, Esme?"

Mom smiled and shrugged. "I was no hurry to be a grandmother, but I have to admit, I want a grandchild now that my son looks happy." She took a sip of water, watching Bella intently before she continued. "But you're right. That's not what I really want to know."

Bella sighed, as she knew exactly where Mom was going with the conversation. I had no clue and it seemed that neither did Dad.

"I love your son," Bella stated firmly. The hand on my thigh tightened with her words. "Despite the sword that hangs over our heads, I plan to stand beside him. I know it's dangerous, since you and Carlisle are perfect examples of the pain we'd endure if we can't overcome temptation. What our future holds, I have no idea. I do know that no matter what, I want Edward with me until he chooses to walk away."

"That won't happen," I said fiercely.

Bella smiled softly at my words, but kept her eyes on Mom. "We have to believe what we feel is enough to destroy anything that threatens our future. And as for grandchildren," she paused, sipping more water and cocking an eyebrow. "Wouldn't you like to know?"

I stilled, widening my eyes. Holy shit, she was taunting Mom. Big time. Dad's fork clanked against his plate as we watched the byplay between Mom and Bella, neither of them daring to look away for what seemed like forever.

After several tense moments, Mom's lips quirked and she started to laugh. Lifting a glass toward Bella, she toasted, "Welcome to the family."