Madness (Joker Love Story)

Released

      Allison thought long and hard about everything that had happened that day, paying particular attention to the look the joker had given her and how she had just left him there. She never realized that one look could be so full of so many incredibly powerful emotions at once. She knew of course that everyone was capable of the feelings she had seen, even sociopaths, and yet, she never imagined that a man so infamous, so difficult, so strange as the joker might show them to her.
         Then another, sadder thought came to view. She had left him there. In that state. Surrounded and simultaneously alone. Surrounded by the angry voices, the frazzled scrambling hands all reaching towards the frightened man, strapping him down for a crime he did not commit. Allison had wanted it.. Hadn't she? All these thoughts raced about her mind at once, and for a moment she wondered what expression she was making. Was it as desperate as 'J's' had looked? She certainly felt that way; desperately confused and begging for relief. She was soon snapped out of her debilitating state when she heard her name being called a little forcefully. 
         "Ms. Finch?" The owner of Arkham repeated again, whatever patience he had wearing thin. "U-uh.. Yes?" Allison replied, obviously confused as her gaze darted around the faces of the board table, looking for an explanation. "Is that how it happened?" Another man, one she hadn't recognized, sounded. "Did patient 45713 dominate you, and, were it not for Mr. Chillum here, planned to assault you?"  The room was silent again and her eyes landed on the security guard who had prevented them from.. whatever they were going to do.. who was nodding his head triumphantly and smiling at her.
         Allison, however, was not happy. Quite the opposite. "Sexually." A woman added an unnecessary clarification. Her eyebrows furrowed together as she looked around the boring room at all of the boring people, making all of their boring assumptions so they could get on with their boring lives. Allison hated people like this. How awful, she thought, it must be to be them. That's why she liked working with people like Crane. They were the farthest things from boring, and as mental as it sounds; they were the only ones that kept her sane.
         She analyzed the question again and planned her answer out carefully, as to make sure she didn't make the situation any more difficult for anyone than it currently was. She cleared her throat, scooting her chair out a bit and hesitating before speaking with remarkably calm delivery. "It's true that he cornered me. It's true that I wouldn't have escaped him were it not for Mr. Chillum. However, ladies and gentlemen, do not attempt to assume any of my patients' motives. That's my job. It's what you in corporate pay me for isn't it? We will never know what patient 45713's motives were because, thankfully, Mr. Chillum was able to stop him.
         Everything is fine now. Now if you'll excuse me I have to get back to my patients. I have a very important appointment now." She got up and began walking to the door, wishing she could and would have said so much more. She picked at the skin on her fingers and scrunched up her face in attempt to fight the practical fury that wanted to emerge from her lips. "Ah yes.. Patient 44881? Uh, James isn't it? James Crane." The superintendent confirmed to himself as he flipped through an almost empty file. Allison stopped in her tracks.
         "Jonathon Crane. How do you know about that? I schedule my own appointments." She said hurriedly, growing more frustrated that the board continued to dive deeper into her personal files. "Yes, well I meant to tell you about that. Mr. Crane has been released." The words slipped out so easily from between his chapped thin lips. The words, however effortlessly they soared about the room, hit Allison's conscious like a bus. Her eye twitched once, and she felt the struggle for air. It really had felt like a bus had hit her.
         "What?" She choked a little on the end, but swallowed the sound, hoping no one would hear. "Did you not recommend him for leave? Is this not your signature of the diagnosis 'Recovered'?" Allison opened her mouth but words wouldn't come out. She could feel the eyes of the boring people burning into her once again but she couldn't bring herself to look at any of them. "But.." She finally found her words. "I signed that for dismissal in two weeks. I still had many more sessions with him." She tried not to shout but felt all her senses overwhelming her at once, the sudden pain stinging at her eyes, tugging at her tear ducts.
         "Well, Ms. Finch." He said, a light-hearted tone to his voice, finding the matter quite amusing as a smile spread across his face slowly. "What's the point of any additional sessions for a sane man? A cured man? We're understaffed as it is, and need the extra hospital bed for a new patient. There's always plenty of crazy people to go around; you know that Allison." He continued to speak but his words flowed through her ears, not bothering to cling to any one of them. She felt her bottom lips quiver slightly and she hoped that it wasn't noticeable. 90% of her energy was being converted to standing, to not fall over with shock, and the rest was solely concentrated on getting her words out without choking. "But I didn't get to say goodbye." She could hardly finish her sentence.
         Some of the suited people struggled not to laugh, while others let their hilarity out full force. She looked around the room, her eyes not staying too long on any one of the heartless people. Had they no sense of shame? Of pity? Of humility? No one did. Allison turned again to walk out of the loud room, tears streaking down her face. She remembered the last time she cried and tried to convince herself she had felt worse before. But she knew the truth.
        Nothing had ever hit her harder than losing Jonathon Crane.