It's Just Not Cricket: @Reffster

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Written by Reffster for The 6-Pack Challenge  

Round 4: The Zone

"Welcome back to our Lunar viewers, rejoining the coverage after their news-break. You're just in time for what should be an outstanding finish. Am I right, Ace?"

"You sure are, Biff. This grand-final of the 2217 All-Solar-System Mega-Cricket Cup has come right down to the wire. The Venusian Vapours are eight down and have just a single over to score the twenty-two runs required for victory."

"It's a big ask, Ace. And you can bet the Lunar Lunatics will be doing everything they can to stop them. OK, it looks as though Gary Regolith is the bowler they've entrusted to see them home. The Lunatic's captain has just thrown him the ball."

"That's not all he's thrown him, Biff."

"Holy cow, Ace. Is that a bazooka?"

"It sure is, Biff. The Interplanetary Cricket Council recently relaxed the regulations regarding methods of delivering the ball, and it looks as though the Lunatics are taking full advantage."

"Yowsers. Well Ace, I wouldn't like to be the Vapours batsman facing the next delivery. Who's it gonna be?"

"Vince Greenhouse is the man on strike, Biff. And I must say, he's looking pretty relaxed, given the high-pressure situation he finds himself in. Wait, he's signalling to the dressing room. Calling for a new bat, maybe?"

"Nope. Looks like he's calling for a tank, Ace. Yep, there it is, rumbling onto the oval."

"A tank, Biff?"

"That's right, Ace. The ICC has also loosened up the rules regarding the protective gear available to batsmen."

"Well, that's thrown a spanner in Regolith's plans, Biff. He's dropped his bazooka and is consulting with his captain. Now they're signalling to the dressing room. What do you think they're up to?"

"Hard to be sure, Ace. But judging by the phalanx of fighter aircraft that's appeared off to the west there, I'd say they've called in an air-strike."

"Ah, interesting tactic. Move and counter-move. What a strategic game of cricket this is proving to be, Biff."

"It sure is, Ace. But wait - there's more action out on the field. The batsman at the non-striker's end has called for an RPG! He kneels. He aims. He fires! And he's taken out one of the fighters! Superb form, there."

"Exciting stuff, Biff. The crowd is going wild as the shattered remnants of the fighter rain down upon them. They sure are getting their money's worth, today."

"It looks as though the other fighters have broken off their attack, Ace. Moral victory there for the Vapours. The two batsmen share a celebratory fist-bump. Surely the Lunatics can't have too much left in their arsenal."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that, Biff. The producers inform me that apparently Venus has just launched a tactical nuclear strike."

"A nuclear strike on what, Ace?"

"This game, Biff. They take their cricket very seriously on Venus."

"Clearly, Ace, clearly. And to think, some people describe cricket as boring."

"Not me, Biff. Pass my hazmat suit, would you?"

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