It's kind of funny, how the last thing Jungkook is going to see in his life is a slow-motion vision of Hoseok, mouth wide open in a scream, and Taehyung staring blankly at him with massively circular eyes.
Jimin, he can't see.
Probably because he's on top of Jungkook and choking the life out of him.
"Hyung, is this what horny means?" the black-haired bunny tries to wheeze out, but the words fall from his lips in a slurred mumble that sounds something like, "Hyungsiswhoreymeas?"
"What?" says Jimin in confusion. "Stop talking, I'm trying to strangle you."
"Mkay," Jungkook squeaks. He gasps for breath, and his chest feels like it's about to explode.
He'll never even get to try to mate with Y/N again, because he'll be dead and gone. He wonders vaguely if she'll give his favorite playhouse to Hoseok.
Slowly, things start to go dim and black. It's like the light is being leached out of the world as he watches. An invisible, heavy weight settles in on his abdomen and chest, slowly crushing.
This is it. This is the end.
Just in time, a flying blonde missile targets Jimin in the side, ripping him away from Jungkook.
The youngest breaths deep, grateful breaths into his lungs, letting the oxygen flow back into his body. As he watches, Taehyung pins a howling, struggling Jimin to the ground.
"No!" Jimin yells. "I have to take him out! Y/N can't be a mom, and I know for a fact he won't remember to use protection! She can't afford that! I can't afford that! There can't be some baby crawling around that looks like a tiny Jungkook! We haven't baby-proofed or anyth- oof!"
Taehyung slaps him out of his delirium. The pain snaps Jimin back into the real world, where he looks round the room, to Jungkook catching his breath in the chair and Taehyung kneeling beside him on the floor, and doesn't seem to know what happened.
"Um," Jimin says slowly. "How did I get down here? And where did my orange juice go?"
All over a pouting Taehyung's shirt, that's where it went. Neither Taehyung nor Jungkook speak up about that little fact.
Hoseok, on the other hand, isn't paying attention anymore. He's gone dreamy eyed and dazed. "Itty-bitty Jungkooks," he coos happily. "How cute!"
"Cute my ever-loving butt," Jimin scoffs. "More like tiny, toddling bundles of evil. Speaking of evil, Jungkook, what happened to you?"
The incredulous rabbit stares at the orange headed man, not believing that Jimin could possibly just try to murder him and blank out like that, not remembering anything. He was on top of Jungkook only seconds ago, tiny chubby fingers clasped around the rabbit's neck in an attempt to kill him.
What the heck?
"Jimine, you definitely tried to kill Jungkookie," Taehyung says bluntly, crossing his arms over his orange-splattered shirt. "And your freaking juice? I'm wearing it."
The orange-haired man's eyes widen. He looks at Jungkook's neck, the Taehyung's shirt, and then Hoseok, who's still staring dreamily at the wall.
"Oh," Jimin says. "It's because you were trying to have sex with Y/N, right? Sorry. I think I went into panic mode a little bit."
A little bit? If the rings of pain around Jungkook's neck are only 'a little bit' to Jimin, then Jungkook sure as heck doesn't want to see him truly panicking.
"You're not mad?" Jungkook asks, causing Jimin to shake his head.
"Nah, I just freaked out," he laughs. "We're already in bad financial situations, and I panicked. Sorry Kookie-yah."
Groaning in disgust, Taehyung climbs off of Jimin and flops into his previous position on the couch, body flailing limply like a hooked fish. "Why did you even ask her in the first place?" the blonde ferret sighs. "Just take her."
"What?" Jimin sits up abruptly. "No! You cannot, under any circumstances, just take her. That's rape!"
The three ex-animals just stare blankly at the short man, the word not ringing any bells inside their recently-turned-human brains. Finally, Hoseok asks, "What does 'rape' mean?"
Jimin slaps a palm against his forehead. "You're like children stuck in adult bodies," he groans. "Come here, all of you. Sit down."
He gathers all of the other men like a mother hen with her chicks, grouping them up to sit on the living room floor in front of him while he perches on the couch.
When all three of them are still and quiet, Jimin starts his lesson.
"Okay, look," says the shorter man. "If you want to get human girls, you can't force them into anything. Not only is that a crime, but it also doesn't work."
Taehyung and Hoseok scrunch their faces up in a displeased way.
"Why?" Hoseok asks. "I was in the breeding program, and the females didn't make us ask to mate them. They were in heat, and we just-"
"Ding! Problem number one." Cutting Hoseok off, Jimin clicks his tongue like an unsatisfied teacher. "Human girls don't go into 'heat', so there's no time that they have to mate. It's their choice to mate, not a biological urge."
"Is that why Y/N said no?" Jungkook pipes up. "I guess I didn't really...ask her. I just said, 'Aren't you ready?' and then she got mad."
Jimin nods in understanding. "Yeah, that probably wasn't the best way to go."
His eyes glimmer with a sudden sparkle of mirth as he regards the youngest man. "That's what's so different about human women," Jimin says slyly. "You have to play the game. Give chase, and tease a little too. You have to seduce them."
He doesn't know why, but the word sends chills of excitement up Jungkook's spine.
"What is that?" the bunny asks. "And how do I do it to Y/N?"
Ever so slowly, one of Jimin's eyebrows rises up his forehead. Then the corner of his mouth follows, so he's smirking devilishly in Jungkook's direction.
"Kookie-yah," he chuckles evilly. "Are you asking me to teach you how to seduce a women? You know I'll have to corrupt you to do that."
Jungkook doesn't know what 'corrupt' means either, but it doesn't sound good. Either way, he'll do whatever it takes.
Y/N is subtly driving him insane.
"What do I need to do?" he asks Jimin.
A mischievous laugh spills out of Jimin's mouth at the question. The man stands up, and grabs his laptop off of the coffee table.
"Come on," he says. "I'm going to teach you how human sex works." Then he leads Jungkook to his bedroom. He sits the man on the bed, places his laptop beside him, and grins.
"Have fun," Jimin says, and hits play.
As he leaves the room, an wicked smile across his face, and as moans begin to ring out in the room behind him, Jimin turns around in time to see Jungkook's horrified-yet-fascinated face.
"It's called porn," says the devil, right before he winks at the innocent soul and locks him in the room.
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