Selfishly Unselfish

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"Yo, B!" Gunner comes out of nowhere and jumps onto my back causing me to nearly fall. Somehow I managed to balance just before my face is introduced to the tile in the hallway.

"What the hell?" I shove him off, low key hoping he will be the one to fall but he doesn't. He just falls into step with me as I walk to my locker.

If he wasn't my best friend, I might punch him. I don't have a reason. Sometimes there is no reason. You just get this overwhelming sense of wanting to punch someone, especially Gunner. Actually, because he is my best friend, I am going to punch him.

My fist hits him square in the bicep and dramatically falls back, holding the spot.

"Ouch! That's going to leave a bruise" His frown turns into smirk "You gave me a love mark. You love me." I roll my eyes at his stupid remark.

"Whatever" I mutter. No matter how annoying he may be, he is my best friend and I can't deny, I do kind of love him in a non romantic kind of way.

Never in a romantic kind of way. He is not my type at all. His eyes are the wrong color, his hair isn't the right color.

He isn't Miles.

"Who's the hottie?" He turns to walk backwards staring at someone behind us. His tell that he wants to 'tap that' as he calls it, biting his bottom lip which he is doing now.

I don't have to look. I know it's Lucy that he is referring to. Every other hottie in his eyes, he knows already. I offered to walk Lucy to her first class, but she refused saying that she didn't want to be a burden to me.

No matter how much I protested, she insisted that I just go about it like a normal day. So I left her at the main office, which is now behind us.

I should have known that the minute a new girl was spotted, his interests would be peaked. I don't want to know how many girl he has been with. How many girls he has used his cliche lines on.

I don't want to know and yet I do. Because after each and every one, he tells me. But his favorite is the new girls that he can offer to 'give a tour to' and then make out by the bleachers. It's cliche but it's Gunner.

"Her dad is my dad's new boss." I shrug turning the dial on my locker. I toss the books I need into my bag and slam it close.

You know something is off when Gunner is quiet. He is never quiet, even when you beg and stuff food in his mouth. He is always talking.

So when I look to him after he goes silent, the thoughtful look and little smile on his face, makes me nervous.

"What?" My voice exasperated, knowing that I am probably not going to like what he is going to say.

His small smile turns to a smirk as he crosses his arms.

"It's pretty hot really. The daughter of your dad's boss. The forbidden passion, the late rendezvous hidden from your fathers. The insane rabbit like Se-"

"You need to stop reading those Penthouse and Playboys." I shake my head, I should have known it was something sexual like that.

If a normal person's mind slips into the gutter every now and then, Gunner must be the permanent resident that greets them.

"Since you obviously aren't going to want her, I call dibs." We walk into our first hour, English, taking our normal seats in the corner.

It is so barbaric to call dibs on a person. It's not like they are the last slice of pizza or ice cream cone. It is a person with thoughts, feelings and wants. They don't want to be dibbed.


"What?" My mind reeling back to what he said.

"What?" he gives me an innocent look, pulling his binder from his bag.

"What do you mean, I obviously don't want her?" Words from Friday flood back into my mind and once again, I am hoping I am just over paranoid.

It's just Gunner being Gunner. He doesn't know my secret. No one knows, he just doesn't know what he is saying. Still, it is too much of a coincidence and I don't know that I believe in coincidences.

"What, you never go after any one." he laughs. I don't get to respond because the teacher uses this moment to start the lesson.

I'd be lying if I said I learned anything in first hour. I would be lying if I said I even tried to focus in my next three hours.

I stare at the lunch table like it is the most fascinating red plastic I have ever seen. The noise of hundreds of kids talking, becoming nothing but a hum as I stay lost in my own head. 

"B, are you listening?" My eyes snap at my name to see Gunner and a few others staring at me.

"Sorry" I try to crack a smile, but I don't think I can.

"I said you should invite the hottie to our table. She's alone and it would be a great way to introduce her." I follow his nod to see Lucy sitting in the corner, looking like a scared bunny.

I frown at the mention of her being alone. She is so nice, how could she have not made any friends? How could no one have invited her to sit with them at lunch? Although to be fair, I didn't invite her to sit with me this morning either.

But if I bring her over her, I subject her to Gunner and Matt. The two biggest flirts in the entire school. I don't want to see her end up like Phoebe or Katie. They thought that they would be their crushes girlfriend after the hook up but they weren't. They were locker room talk the next day.

It's terrible and I may only know Lucy since Saturday, but I know she deserves better.

The idea pops into my head suddenly and ignoring the calls from my table, I move sit down quickly across from Lucy. It's a long shot and I will probably be laughed at. I am acting on impulse, which has never worked in the past, so why can't I stop myself now?

"How's your first day so far?" I reach across the table and take one of her fries with a wink.

The gesture makes me feel kind of stupid, but she doesn't seem to notice. She heaves a heavy sigh and continues eating.

"Good as can be, I suppose." her eyes flit across the cafeteria, before landing on me again.

I can see this hint of loneliness in her eyes and I am thankful that I have never had to switch schools. I couldn't imagine trying to join groups and make friends with people who have probably known each other for years.

"I have this crazy idea" I blurt out and she raises an eyebrow for me to continue.

"What if we date? I mean we can just call each other boyfriend/girlfriend if that's easier. But then you can hang with my friends and not get hit on like I know you will. I want to make you comfortable here." I expected her to immediately shoot down the idea. To tell me I was crazy or that she can handle her own, but to my utter shock, she smiles.

Not a you're stupid smile. A genuine, interested smile.

"And what do you get out of this, Brandon?" Crap, I wasn't expecting that answer. I can't just tell her that it will get Gunner off my back.

I can't tell her that really, this is the most selfish thing that I am trying to make unselfish. That I just want a girlfriend so that my secret stays mine.

So I say the first thing that comes to my mind, blaming Gunner for the cheesiness of the line.

"I get to date the prettiest girl in school." I use his signature smirk, hoping it looks better than it feels.

To me it feels uncomfortable, like I am trying to hard and maybe I am.

Lucy purses her lips and tilts her head to the side. I can't tell what is going on in her head, but I get the sense that she is actually considering this.

Finally, she reaches over and places her hand on top of mine.

"Okay. I'll be your girlfriend."

<3 <3 <3 <3

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