As much as I hate to say it “I’m giving up”. I’m just really going to give up on men and their bullshit because it seems like whatever I have they don’t want. No more thoughts of ponies and roses and hot and tender nights in a cabin while rain falls outside. I’m giving up.
Jesus…I mean REALLY? Seriously? What does it take to keep a guy interested longer than a span of two months! Am I that much of a loser?
I have all of this shit I need to do within one week and I’ve spent the last four days wallowing because this guy I was mildly interested in decided that I wasn't interesting enough to keep up the chase.
I toss a crumpled piece of paper to the floor and watch it give a few pathetic bounces before it crashes against my bleach white wall. That’s my life there, I’m a crumpled up girl and I’m lying on the floor waiting for some guy to unravel me and smooth out all the chinks and crimps that are currently my life. It’s pathetic!
“Oi” I careen in my ratty swivel chair and tut at the somber black gown hanging on my bedroom door. Why do graduations seem like funerals? All the somber colors and somber processions, we’re supposed to be happy! Where is the color? I want a pop of sunshine! Can I get a sky blue here, a salmon pink there, a virgin blush everywhere?
I just want to be happy.
“For Christs sake!” I kick my chair back and risk falling on my ass but end up in a nice little lean where I can look up at my ceiling and stare painfully. This is it, this is it, 23 years old and I still haven’t had a guy to really LOVE me, I mean a guy that I love back anyway.
What is it going to take for me to understand that love isn't for me? I wasn't cut out for this. When God created all the pretty girls with smarts and personality and the gift of gab he cut me out of a different cloth.
The reality is that I'm never going to find that guy.
I guess one of the reason's I'm single is because I'm meant to be.
That's just the way it is.
And I'm going to like it one way or the other.
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A Few Reasons Why I'm Dreadfully SingleChickLit
Karina has HAD it with men. She's tired and she doesn't give a damn anymore. From now on, it's about her and what she wants. Screw what a guy has to say about any of it. But while she's coasting on her ride to happy single hood, is there another guy...