✦I need to know✦ (Itachi oneshot)

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                                                              “A note on your pillow.”

Akira was everything that Itachi admired. And everything that Itachi could never be. She was soft, gentle, and very caring, while he was cold, emotionless, and hard.

Everyday Itachi continued to think about her, about what he left behind. And every day he wished that he had done something’s differently.

He couldn’t shake Akira off, no matter how hard he tried too. Itachi tried to be with other woman, forced himself to be with those other woman. He was happy with each and every one of them, for at least a moment. But in the end, it was always the same.

He always imagined himself being with Akira. Imagined what her lips would feel like pressed against his. Imagined what her body would feel like against his, molding with his body perfectly as they touched and roamed each other’s bodies; as they held each other in their arms. Everything about Akira he thought about, and it only got worse with each passing day.

Itachi only wanted one thing more than anything in this world, and that was her. But no matter how much he wanted her, he knew that they would never be together. He had slaughtered his family, ran away from the Leaf, and joined the s-rank criminal organization known as the Akatsuki. He knew that no matter what his feelings were for Akira, she would never feel the same because of all those horrible things that he had done in the past.

But in the end, Itachi didn’t care. He needed to know, he had to know what her feelings were for him. That’s why, as of now, he was currently standing in front of Akira’s house.

Itachi could feel the young woman’s presence inside. He could hear the slamming of doors, shelves, and cabinets as she shuffled around the house in search of something. Itachi’s lips curved slightly upward in a smile. Akira wasn’t the most organized person that he knew.

He remembered back in the day where they were in ANBU’s together. Itachi had always organized Akira’s things so that she could find whatever it was that she was searching for. If he didn’t, then her office would look like a tornado had hit it when she went in search of the thing that she needed and couldn’t find it.

Itachi shook his head back and forth, the small smile still playing on his face, as he extended his hand and knocked on the door. The shuffling inside of the house had subsided as the echo of his knock filled the air. Even though Itachi wouldn’t admit it, he was nervous. His heart was pounding in his chest and his palms began to sweat as he heard Akira’s footsteps close in on the door. It seemed like time had slowed as Akira opened the door. There, in front of him, stood the woman that had edged her name in the cold-blooded Uchiha’s heart. Her silver hair was longer than he remembered, pulled back in a ponytail; the end of her hair hanging over her shoulders, her baby blue eyes were widen in shock as she stared at the man standing before her. Akira had grown more beautiful than Itachi remembered.

Akira’s full, pink lips parted slightly. Her words were trapped in her throat. She didn’t know what to say or what to do with this situation. She continued to stand there, staring at Itachi in shock; her old friend that had ran from the Leaf and her. Itachi was the one to speak first, “Long time no see Akira.” Akira’s eyes narrowed at the man.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Itachi wasn’t use to this side of Akira. He had only seen this side of her once when someone had really pushed her buttons. And after that day, he had sworn that he would never make her turn that side of her on him; too late now.

Itachi cleared his throat, gathering his next words carefully before he said anything else. It didn’t help that Akira was standing in front of him, glaring angrily. “We need to talk” Itachi finally spoke. He was becoming more and more nervous around Akira as the time passed. He’d never let that show though. Itachi wasn’t a man of emotions, let alone a man of words. But Akira was different. She had seen a side of Itachi that no one has, not even his family. So it was even harder trying to stay cool around her now, as he stood before her. Akira stepped out of her house, finger extended; pointing at the Uchiha.

“You slaughtered your family,” poke, “left Sasuke to fend for himself,” another poke, “And then you left the Leaf without even a single word.” Before Akira could poke Itachi in the chest again, he grabbed her wrist and held it in place. They were inches apart now, chests almost touching. Itachi wanted to be closer though. He wanted to feel her body against his like he continued to imagine. But he didn’t try anything, in fear of Akira getting even madder at him than she already was.

“I’m sorry” were the only words that Itachi could choke out. Akira’s mouth parted slightly, a heavy sigh escaping her lips. Itachi couldn’t help but stare at the movements of her mouth as she did so. Again he wanted to be closer to her, having his lips pressed softly against hers as they kissed. But again he didn’t do anything. He didn’t want to ruin the moment right now. She was talking to him, something he thought that would never happen after everything that he has done. So he didn’t do anything to ruin that.

Akira yanked her hand out of Itachi’s grip and placed them both on her hips. She was still eyeing Itachi. Her eyes weren’t hard like they were a moment ago, however. They were soft and gentle like Itachi always remembered that they were. “You have to leave, Itachi. I don’t want you to, but you have to before someone sees you. I don’t want you getting in trouble for being here.” Her words stung at Itachi’s heart, over and over again. He didn’t want to leave, he wanted to stay. But he knew that she was right about him getting in trouble if he lingered here any longer than what he has. But before Itachi could leave, he had to know something. Or it would continue to eat at his mind like it did every day since he left her.

“One question before I go.” Akira sighed heavily again. She stared at Itachi seriously before motioning him to continue on with this question. Itachi slightly hesitated. “How do you feel about me?” The question obviously took Akira by surprise since she staggered backwards a little bit. Itachi noticed the protest playing on Akira’s lips, but he extended his hand forward; motioning her to stop what she was going to say. Itachi’s eyes softened. “Please, Akira” Itachi pleaded. He needed to know, even if her words were the complete opposite as the ones in his dreams. Akira closed her eyes briefly, carefully choosing her next words.

“You were the only person that I considered to be family. We were close and you were the person that I went to for everything, no matter what it was. I cared deeply for you, Itachi.” Itachi’s heart raced at Akira’s words, as her heart raced for him. Their hearts were always in perfect sync with one another’s, even when their hearts were breaking. “But that was the past, Itachi. You’ve changed and I’ve changed. We can never be together now. I’m sorry.” Itachi noticed the tears that begun to fall from Akira’s eyes before she turned around and walked into her house; slamming the door behind her. Itachi thought that she was saying that they could never be together now because of what he did; because she couldn’t forgive him. But he knew that was wrong when he heard the muffle sounds of Akira crying.

He hated seeing her like this and even more, he hated himself for causing all of this. But he wasn’t going to give up, especially on the only woman who had ever made their way into Itachi’s ice-cold heart. Itachi’s eyes made their way upwards. He always knew that Akira left her bedroom window opened and that’s what he was hoping now that she still did that. He was right, she still did. He made his way towards the tree near her bedroom, jumped up on the ledge, and quietly jumped into Akira’s bedroom. He didn’t want her to know that he was in her house, that’s why he was being quite.

The scent of mango and oranges filled Itachi’s nostrils. It was the scent that Itachi had become familiar with, something that Akira always smelled like. Itachi walked over to Akira’s bed, grabbed the letter from his Akatsuki cloak, and placed it neatly on her pillow.

He knew that Akira was angry at him for what he did, for slaughtering his entire clan and leaving Sasuke to fend for himself. That’s why the letter explained everything, the reasons why he did what he did.

He couldn’t make up for the things that he did neither could he change them, but he wanted her to know the truth at least. On the top of the letter that Itachi left, it said that he loved her and always will no matter what. And on the bottom of the letter, it had directions to the spot that Itachi was always at when he wasn’t with the Akatsuki.

As Itachi jumped out of Akira’s bedroom and started to leave, he had hoped that she would read the letter first without tearing it up. He had hoped that she would give him a chance to mend the void that he had placed in her heart.

But more importantly, Itachi had hoped that Akira would love him once more and let him be there for her like he was in the past, but this time as more than friends.

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