4th November 2017 All Rights Reserved.
I didn't what to think about the lunch we had. Not after that run in with Fai. And especially after I had that light bulb moment with regards to myself I had no idea what to think. I was quiet throughout the whole lunch with Izzy carrying the majority of the conversation. I just made the responses that I thought was needed.
After lunch was finished, I walked Izzy out to the car and decided to take her for a walk along the river at Davidson Park. There were plenty of places to park along the drive and walk along the river. I think that maybe, Izzy and I have to have a real indepth talk about ourselves.
I knew that one of the reasons that i decided to stay with her in this damn arrangement was because of the kids. I wanted them to have as normal a life as possible. I know that Izzy felt the same way and has done just about everything in her power to ensure that they have.
" Where are we going?" She asked when I turned off the main road and onto the drive that runs along the river where there are many places to park and enjoy the scenery. I found a nice shady spot and parked the car turning the ignition off. I looked at her and noticed that she had this nervous look on her face.
I opened the door and climbed out. Shutting the door, I walked around to the passenger side and opened Izzy's door and held my hand out for her to take so she could join me.
Then I turned and started walking down over to the riverside and waited for Izzy to join me. Then we started walking, not saying a word for a few minutes. We must have walked a couple of hundred yards when a seat come along and I directed us over to it. After she sat and I sat beside her, I leaned forward and rested my forearms on my thighs before I started speaking as I turned my head to glance at her.
" We need to talk. It's long over due, Isabelle. Don't you think?" I asked her quietly.
" About what?" She asked nervously without looking at me while plucking at the fabric of her skirt that she was wearing.
" We got together for all the wrong reasons, Isabelle. You and I both know it and that we stayed together for the sake of the kids. But they are nearly grown now and are able to look after themselves." I was saying before watching as her eyes filled with tears while she started shaking her head at me.
" You want to get a divorce. Is that why we are having this talk?" She asked through quivering lips as the tears began to fall from her eyes.
" What? No. I don't want a divorce. You have been a good wife and an excellent mother to the kids. But I think we have been holding grudges against each other for far too long and it's time for them to be let go, don't you think?" I asked her as I straightened up and turned to look fully at her giving her my whole attention when she mentioned the divorce word.
" Not unless you want a divorce, do you?" I asked her with a frown.
" No. I don't. I never did. I just wanted us to be a real family. That's all. But I can't seem to control my mouth where Fai is concerned. I guess that I am just jeaous because you had a child with her first. I know it's irrational of me." What she was saying, I could only agree with her over. her actions have been irrational where Fai is concerned.
" If you knew anything about Fai, it would be that she always does what she says. When she found out about us that day she left, I knew that there would never be anything else ever between us. There was only the baby that was our connection. But I guess she was really mad at me since she never wrote or called or even let me know what she eventually had. But it was my own fault. I should have pushed for more information when looking for her. " I said to Izzy who was still shaking and crying.
" But it is all in the past. The only connection we both have, and I meant we, is that our children have an older sibling. I won't be stopping any of them should they want to follow up with a relationship with Olliandriah. She is their older sister. You have to accept that. I know I have." I went on to say to her.
But I saw some glimpses of guilt in Izzy's face for some reason and she wasn't letting me know what the causes of it were either. I wondered what it was about. But right now, I wasn't going to push anything else on her. I think we have aired enough of our problems. The next hour we spoke about the stupid things we did before we married after Nolan was born.
We were both to blame with each of us acting the way we did. I admitted to her that i was still pissed over everything and that was one of the reasons why I hooked up with both Priscilla and also with Cecelia. Izzy wasn't too thrilled about that and I could easily tell that she was just as ticked off as I was. But then she did have her fair share of hook ups as well.
" I haven't had anyone since marrying you. I couldn't. I may not have had many morals before I got married, but my grandparents morality rubbed off on me eventually and I stayed loyal to my vows that I made to you the day we got married. It had nothing to do with the prenup I signed after you added that clause. I knew I wasn't going to be breaking it." She said as she blew into a tissue she pulled out of her bag after dabbing her eyes with it.
But thinking on what she said, I wish I could have said the same. But I can't. I reckon that if we are going to start afresh, I better come clean so there won't be any more secrets between us. At least on my part anyway.
" In the first five years after we married I had a few affairs. I won't go into the details of them. It's not necessary. But I did." I heard her gasp when she heard me admit that. Then I saw the tears falling again. This time she was quietly sobbing after lifting her hands to cover her face with them.
" I'm sorry about it. I can't change it. Not any of it. But what I can do is sincerely promise that there isn't anyone else and never will be." I promised to her as she wiped her eyes again and blew her nose, once again.
I could see that her makeup is just about non existent by this time and it looked like she didn't even care about it.
We had been sitting here for an hour before getting up and taking a little stroll. My hand brushed against hers a couple of times as we walked and the next time it happened, I grabbed hold of it and just held it in mine. Izzy was shocked that I voluntarily touched her and I wasn't even drunk. So, we walked for a little bit hand in hand. I could see her face softening a little the more we walked. Hopefully, this will be the biggest turning point in our marriage for us. I certainly hope so.
We we on our way back to the car when Izzy's phone buzzed. After she pulled it out of her handbag, she looked at it and frowned before looking up at me.
" Nolan said that we should get ourselves home. Lyss is having a moment of epic proportions which we will be needed for, he said." Izzy was saying the moment she hung up after listening to our son whose voice I could hear in a panic coming through the speaker. So we headed staright back to the car and once back ont he main road, we made our way south to Dolans Bay, where we live. It was going to take us a while since we were on the north side of Sydney and had to travel down and across to the south side.
But by the time we got there, Alyssa was nowhere to be seen and Nolan was getting a bit beyond ticked off over whatever it was that has happened. We had to ask Nolan if he knew what the problem was and when he said what had happened, Izzy went right off the deep end again. Damn it. It was like the last few hours hadn't even happened.
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A Hard Fall For HimChickLit
I made stupid choices. Choices that lead me to being a mother at a very young age. An age when I should have been spending time with friends worrying about the latest fashion or shopping at the mall. Years later, I met a man who made me want to th...