Of Gods & Crumpets
A Comic SF Story by NimrodKirkpatrick
"Who the fuck are you?"
"Who the fuck am I?" the girl asked. Aghast, she fumbled in the depths of her handbag and found her keys which she gripped, tightly, in such a fashion that several protruded through the gaps between her fingers. "This is my fucking flat so I'll ask the fucking questions. So who the fuck are you? And what the fuck are you doing in my fucking flat?"
"I'm Zeus," said Zeus, standing there all beard and muscles. "And I'm making crumpets."
"Well I do like crumpets," replied the girl, relaxing the grip on her keys. "But how did you even get in here?"
"I'm Zeus," said Zeus, as still he stood there all muscles and beard. "I got in here via a portal."
"All right..." The girl was dubious but she had a thing for beards and muscles, and Zeus was pretty hot. "After we've eaten crumpets, can we play hide and seek?"
"Sure," Zeus replied with a shrug. "Fair warning though, I play by God Rules."
"What, exactly, are God Rules, when it comes to hide and seek?"
"Well when I find you, and I'll always find you, I get to screw you somewhere very uncomfortable."
"Oh really?" the girl asked, her eyebrow raised. "Well it's funny you should bring that up... I do have a Volkswagen Polo parked outside..."
And Zeus grinned...
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