Fates: Chapter Twenty-Six

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Margaret

      I couldn’t sleep again. The dreams had become more vivid lately and it felt like I was slowly becoming more and more obsessed with the merman who visited me when I was sleeping. Not a minute passed even in my waking hours that he wouldn’t enter my mind.

     His dark brown hair, sharp green eyes and shiny silver tail held the most impact in my mind as I saw him in front of me, floating carelessly in the water. He had the body of a warrior—as if he had fought against monsters and enemies far bigger than him and yet emerged victorious. He held a sword in his right hand; a weapon that seemed almost fragile with its thin blade that curved slightly near the tip. It didn’t seem right in contrast to his large build but I instinctively knew that it had sliced through a number of things—bodies of his enemies included.

      I should have been scared in his presence but in all of my dreams, he had an affectionate smile on his face. A smile that never failed to make me feel as if he was a prince and I was his princess. It was a childish feeling but I couldn’t shake it off. In a way I felt that if I could see my face as I look at him in my dreams, I knew that I was smiling just as tenderly at him. Seeing him in my dreams may have disturbed me during my waking hours but I also felt myself being drawn to him and the mystery surrounding him—as if finding him would answer all of my questions.

      It all started three weeks ago, the night before Grampa’s death. I came home feeling totally lost and disoriented, knowing that there was a reason why I woke up by the beach that afternoon but failing to remember what it was. There had been other things that I knew I couldn’t remember; lapses in my memory that I was sure I should not have forgotten. It had been bothering me since then because both my mind and heart tell me intuitively that those blanks were important memories. It was frustrating, however, because no matter who I asked, nobody could give me a satisfying answer. Everyone told me that I was overanalyzing things; that nobody really recalled every single detail of past memories, no matter how recent the memory was.

      Because of what I couldn’t remember and because of what Grampa told me before he died, I couldn’t help but start believing that the merman in my dreams had something to do with my lost memories. Unfortunately, I knew that mermen and mermaids weren’t real and believing in them was only making me think that I had turned into some cursed madwoman. But then again, curses couldn’t be real either.

      I sat up in my bed and shook my head. I really should stop thinking about the merman. I should do as Robert said and accept the fact that I wouldn’t remember what my lost memories were. I took a deep breath and looked at the digital clock on my bedside table.

      2:13 in the morning.

      In the past weeks, I could only end up falling asleep some time around three o’clock in the morning.

      Forty-seven minutes left.

      I sighed. I guess I should just be grateful that it was Sunday. When I had to go to school, I always thanked the heavens that a mug of coffee added to my breakfast had sufficed to keep me awake for the rest of the day. At least today I could sleep in and wake up really late.

      If only I could have a merman-less dream tonight then it would be enough to convince me that I was still sane. Just for tonight.

      Please.

 *****

      My wish was granted. I woke up around eleven o’clock Sunday morning knowing full well that I had a dreamless sleep. I didn’t dream of a merman. To be honest, I couldn’t remember a single dream at all.

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