23) 'Being Told How To Celebrate Halloween By A Delinquent Who Doesn't Celebr...

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23) 'Being Told How To Celebrate Halloween By A Delinquent Who Doesn't Celebrate Halloween' And Other Situations That Happen To The Best Of Us

It wasn't hard to anger Thijmen, kind of. If you were an Emsworth, then this actually became easy. It's like they had some sort of dormant gene possessing the talent to annoy/aggravate/irritate him. On the good side, it was also easy to get him back on high spirits.

He got a D in French. "I'm actually impressed," said Thijmen who, of course, had B- (he forgot to check the back of the page).

Martin lurked around. Did Thijmen sigh, or was that Benjamin's imagination? "I got an A," he said, slapping his paper against Ben's inferior grade.

"Go away," grumbled Ben.

Pi got an A, too. The rest flunked. Ha.

The other subjects were, to Ben's relief, not as hard as French. It made him feel like he was entitled to be in this school not just because of the amount of money in his parents' bank account. Naturally, this accomplishment called for a celebration. Ben and his friends all agreed they deserved a party after all their hard work.

What better time to throw one than Halloween? Killing two birds with one stone, as they say. And frankly, they just wanted an excuse to dress up as their favorite video game characters, because vampires and mummies were highly overrated.

It wouldn't take long before Benjamin's friends began embarrassing him again, and he knew it, and they knew it, and Thijmen knew it, too, for which it was nothing short of a blessing when they called him to the principal's office around the time the squad assembled. In fact, he almost looked relieved at the chance to escape.

"Drugs," said Heston.

"Definitely drugs," said Messiah.

"Not drugs," clarified Benjamin, "he hates them."

"I heard weed is the national plant where he comes from."


Heston tossed a booger to the side. "So," he began, "let's talk about important stuff now. When and how?"



"Ohh," like the 'what', it came in unison. It's like they were closer and closer to becoming a hivemind with each passing day. The thought was terrifying. Presumably because he wasn't the only one thinking this, the squad was silent for a while. Never mind the rest of the class revising their exams and being Good, Promising Future Citizens while they planned on how to live la vida loca.

As if snapped out of a trance, Pi said, "Yours."

Heston scowled.

"You opened your mouth. Accept the consequences."

"YES!" screeched Martin, "I eat better shit there than anywhere else. Especially Benjamin's house."

Benjamin couldn't disagree.

As the argument went on (like Heston had any hope of saving himself), Benjamin limited himself to looking at the door. By now, pretty much everyone knew a) he was The Exchange Student b) he went to the principal's office regularly not because of anything illegal (probably) but because of the program itself. He wouldn't come back for a while.


Oh well.


"No," he said.

Martin = no in general. "Are you bringing Thijmen?"

"No. No. Definitely not."

"My parents have a lot of drugs in their cabinets," Heston informed, "he could use those."

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