Bloodred Bluejay

Chapter 11

---Jay's P.O.V

Carmen let me take her without much struggle. I think the fight had gone out of her after that night. It was opposite for me. My protectiveness went through the roof, and I was willing to fight anyone or anything to keep Carmen from suffering any more than she already had.

I knew that most of her suffering was my fault, I accepted it and it killed me every day, but I also knew that I was the only person she was safe with. Over the next couple of weeks as we traveled from motel to motel, city to city, I tried to find the light that used to be inside her. It was a dim light before, but now it was gone completely. She followed me without question. Whenever I intentionally embarrassed myself to get one of those sarcastic jokes out of her she'd just be silent, staring at the ground.

I didn't dare touch her. The day after that night, I grabbed her hand to cross the street and she panicked like never before. She yanked her arm away and clawed my face, crumpling to the ground and screaming until she couldn't anymore. I'd tell passerby's that she had PTSD from a car crash, but they always looked at me suspiciously. And I couldn't afford that.

So I didn't touch her, didn't have to. She'd follow me like a beaten puppy, head down. She wouldn't eat either and was getting far too skinny to be healthy.

I worried about her. I don't know why I did, but I worried about her. Just like I didn't know why I was risking my own ass protecting her like this either.

That first night when I saw her staring over her covers like that at me... I just... saw something. Felt something. Fuck, I don't know. Her eyes were like a storm and I was trapped in it, blind, but enjoying the wind that whipped around me.

Awhile back Carter had managed to get me a car before he ditched on the whole operation. Now I pulled into another motel, the 'Kinky Kangaroo'. God, was I sick of those stupid names. I parked and looked at Carmen, who was wrapped in a blanket in the passenger seat. She was sleeping peacefully but woke up when the car stopped and turned to look at me.

She actually looked at me.. my heart sped up. She had avoided eye contact for two weeks and now she was looking, seeing me. The corners of her lips lifted and I couldn't help but grin. "Morning, bedhead." I joked lightheartedly and she followed me into the office.

"Welcome to the Kinky Kangaroo, the most popular kink motel in the city!" I doubted that. "We have rooms with sex swings, massage tables, whatever you can imagine!"

"My boyfriend here has quite the kidnap fetish." I heard Carmen's voice chime in and blushed when the desk lady looked at me strangely. Great. A lady running a kink motel looking at ME strange. But I couldn't help but smirk down at Carmen. She was coming back to me.

"Can we just get a normal room please?" I asked, ears red.

"Of course..." The woman took down our fake names and walked us to the room. I thanked her as quickly as possible and ushered Carmen in, closing the door.

"Thanks a lot." I muttered and she managed a giggle. Never thought her voice would be music to my ears. I was exhausted though and couldn't celebrate too long. "Get in bed." I tried to sound serious but I was nearly glowing under her smile.

She crawled under the covers and curled up, used to sleeping in dirty hotel rooms. I paused for a moment and watched her close her eyes- she did an awful lot of sleeping lately -and prayed that I'd wake up and she'd still be there.

Careful not to get to close to her, I pulled my shirt off and climbed into the opposite side of the bed. "Goodnight." I mumbled and was answered with silence. Finally I clicked the light off.

Not a second later I felt Carmen rustle next to me and she scooted closer. I held my breath as she laid a palm on my chest, pushing her body up against mine, intertwining our feet. Her head fit perfectly under my chin. I didn't know what to do. Put my arms around her? Say something? Fuck, my heart was beating fast. I prayed she couldn't hear it.

"Carmen-"

"Shut the fuck up and listen to me." Her soft voice cradling the harsh words cut into me and my heart dropped to my feet. I felt a prick on my back and realized she had a knife against it, pushing the tip in slightly. "I'm going to get up and walk out of here, and you're not going to follow me. You're not gonna say my name, try to convince me to stay, or fucking touch me at all. Got it?"

"Listen to me. My boss will find you. He'll-"

"I told you to shut the fuck UP." Carmen growled and I realized she had been watching me, learning.

I had only one option left. Quicker than she could blink I had my hand around her throat. Her eyes went wide and her free hand clawed at mine. She tried to push the blade into my back but before she could do worse than a flesh wound, her hand let go of the knife and it fell to the floor with a clang.

Her face was red by the time I let go, my eyes full of regret and apologies. She was crying and began to scramble to get away from me, falling to her hands off of the bed and crawling to the door.

"Get away! Either let me go or kill me!" She squealed as I grabbed her ankle. She flipped and kicked at me. The only thing I could hope for was that people thought this was just a kink of mine and wouldn't call the cops.

"I can't, I'm the only one who will protect you!"

"Liar! My dad will protect me, from you and your whole fucked up organization!" She screamed at me through sobs. "He's probably gone crazy looking for me!"

I dragged her towards me and wrapped my arms around her, pulling her into my lap. She struggled and punched at me but I just held her. "Haven't you seen the news, you idiot? No one's looking for you. No one's talking about you. Your father is the one who hired me!"

She froze, breathing heavy, hands still in fists. "No, my father wouldn't do that." She whispered.

"He did. He hired us to kill you."

"He wouldn't do that." She whispered again. "If he wanted me dead, he'd beat me to death." She got louder as she spoke. "But he doesn't, he beats me within inches of my life but he always stops just before I die, Jay. If he wanted me fucking dead, he wouldn't stop. He'd beat me until I died and then just keep on beating me."

Now it was my turn to go silent. I loosened my arms but she didn't try to run. She stayed in my lap, her head rolling onto my shoulder. After a few minutes I spoke, confused. "Then why do you want to go home?" I asked quietly.

"Because maybe a better assassin will come, Jay. Maybe one that will actually do his job. And then I will be free."