28th October 2017 All Rights Reserved.
It was not how we thought it was going to be. We thought that the babies were going to be quiet for a while as they grew in those first months giving us a surprise from all the stories we have heard about twins after being born.
The little darlings were only catching their breaths after being born on the farm before letting us know that they were here and not happy about it. No, they really weren't. I guess they liked the idea of full room service and all needs catered to before they were born. Even their climate was regulated so that they didn't have to worry about being either too cold or too hot.
The older ones took turns in feeding them during the day with both Rem and I managing to feed them during the night. It was on the fourth night that the little ones came into their own and reminded me of how disruptive Ollie made the farm house with her wails once she started. The twins were now the same to remind me of their older sister.
Only there were now two of them and they were loud. I had forgotten what it was like to not be able to sleep in undisturbed. Having a sleep in was a faint dream at times that teased me with it's memories.
Nan of course, just laughed the place down as she remembered the efforts I went to trying to calm Ollie down and then she related how I eventually turned to her for help in caring for her when it got too much for me and beyond me. For which I was eternally grateful to her for.
I wasn't sure how Nan managed it, but she did which made me feel somewhat inferior and inadequate when trying to mother my own baby. I can't count the times I would end up in my room sobbing into a pillow feeling tired, sore and an utter failure. That was happening on a daily basis and as much as I loved Nan and the help she gave, I wasn't even sure we were all going to survive it.
" It is not going to be easy for you when you yourself are still only a child with hormones raging and now you have the added problem of mothering hormones running all over the place after giving birth as young as you have. You are going to need help and I am here when you need it." She said to me in those early days when I came home from the hospital with my brand new baby scared as hell and wondering what the hell I was going to do with my life.
I knew by that time that Danny wasn't going to want any part of his daughters life. He had more or less abandoned her. I didn't care about myself. But I cared about our daughter and how she was going to feel in the future when she grows up old enough to understand what had happened.
But with everything, I managed it. With Nan's help of course. I couldn't have done much of anything without her help. I might have been unsure of our relationship when I first came here with dad dropping me off, but the relationship I have with her now is stronger than I had ever thought it would be. She is more than my grandmother. She is also my friend. The friend I needed growing up.
But with twins going to town, so to speak, ranting and wailing on over the feeds they were going to get very shortly, made Ollie's sqwarking for hers when she was baby mild in comparison. At times I wondered which one was the loudest, Brian or Tarryne.
Before we left Tarin's Run, all of the oldies thought that the two little ones would be attention seekers when they grew up. Or be politicians since the two of them seemed to be screaming over the other one for attention. It was Poppa who thought that and said it around the dining table the night before we left. Gamma threw a tea towel at his head when he said that and laughed about it.
" There will be no politicians in our family, thank you very much. We have more class than they do." Gamma went on to say after all the laughing died down.
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