"I hate myself"

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Camila's Pov

Ever felt so broken, all you want to do is sleep and cry? Well, all I can do is sleep. I cried all my tears away. What did I ever do to have her cheat on me? Maybe she wanted more, and I couldn't give it to her. 

It has been three days. I haven't moved, and I don't eat. I can't waist my life away sitting here waiting for something that won't ever happen. Why am I still here? School is over, I can go to college and presue what I have always wanted to do. Music.

I have money, my mom and dad would want me to use it on something useful. I will go to London and by myself a small apartment and I will get my degree. 

I quickly went online and booked my fight. It was in two hours. Dinah was out with Ally, so I decided to just write notes to everyone. 

Dinah, 

You are probably freaking out and wondering why I am not there right now. I'm so sorry, I can't stay here. I'm waisting my life away. You are my best friend, and I will always love you. You have incredible talent. Please, put it to use. That is exactly what I am going to do right now. I will be on my flight in two hours. I'm not going to tell you where I am going, because you will chase after me. That isn't what I want, I want a new start. I will call you soon, please don't worry about me, I will be okay. Dinah Jane, I love you. This isn't goodbye. I will be back. Talk soon..? I love you so much. 

~Camila. 

Tears fell down my face as I wrote this letter. I tore out another piece of paper and started another one. I continued to write the letters, I wrote to everyone. I guess this is goodbye Miami. For now.

Dinah's Pov 


I went out shopping with Ally, and we were now coming back to the hotel. Ally wanted to see Mila. 

When we got in the hotel room, there was no sight of Mila. 

"Camila, where are you?" I asked. I still got no answer. We checked the whole room, until I found 7 notes on the table. 

I found one with my name on it, and slowly read it outloud. I exhaled loudly and tears streamed down my face, She can't leave. But, she was already on her plane. To who knows where. 

"Dinah, We should have everyone meet at Lauren's house" She said and texted everyone. She drove us to Lauren's house and everyone was sitting on the couch. They saw my tears and instantly knew something was wrong. 

Ally's Pov

"Camila is gone. She left us all notes. We are all going to read them outloud, I'll start" I said. I saw everyones face drop. Lauren went pale and choked. Alexa rubbed her arm and Lauren snuggled into her. 

I took a breath before I read my note. 

Ally,

Oh Ally... I love you so much. You always supported me, no matter what. I can never thank you enough for that. You're bright, bubbly spirit is exactly what defines you. Honestly, you need to put that to use. You never pretended to be something you aren't. You keep everyone together, and just because I am not there anymore, doesn't mean I  don't love you all. You are probably really destrought right now, and all I ask of you is to make sure Dinah doesn't come after me. Call me sometime. I love you! See you soon AllyCat. 

~Camila 


Everyone took a turn reading their note next. 

Normani's Pov

Mani, 

You are a girl of many talents. I have always been jealous of that! But, sh.. don't tell anyone. You never let the small things bother you, and the big things, you deal with them rationally. I could go on and on. I love you so very much. When I come back, you better teach me how to do a cartwheel. I want you to call me. I am going to depend on you to give me updates on how everyone is. You, you need to stay yourself. People love you more than you think. I love you! See you soon!

~Camila

Vero's Pov

Vero, 

It was such a pleasure meeting and being able to be you're friend. You are everything I always wanted to be. Fierce, strong, brave, and so much more. You are a wonderful friend. Call me if you ever need to talk, everyone falls sometimes. Don't be afriad to ask for help. I hope to see you soon, and please don't resent me for what is happening with Lauren right now! I will talk to you soon

~Camila

Lucy's Pov

Lucy, 

Sometimes I wonder, how you keep everything together. You are so beautiful, and I am so greatful I have gotten to know you. A lot of people dream to be half the person you are going to be. I hope you see that. Lauren probably needs you right now. Please, don't leave her. I will talk to you soon! 

~Camila

Alexa's Pov

Alexa, 

Wow. What do I say? We hung out a lot. You are gorgeous. Do you remember all those times we would have an eating contest? I won by the way. Anyways, keep the people you love close, because they need you. Lauren needs you. I love you, we will talk soon. 

~Camila 

Lauren's Pov

Lauren, 

Saying "I love you" is a completely different thing then being " In love with you". I am in love with You. You were my rock. You made me feel something that I didn't think existed. I didn't believe in love, until I met you. I knew you were the one the first time I saw you. You kept my feet on the ground, yet showed me how beautiful the stars and skies were. I can never thank you enough for that. I never thought I would be writing this letter. I thought our love was eternal, and went both ways. I want you to know, I am not blaming you. I am blaming myself. I could have given you what you wanted and I am dearly sorry for that. I have lost so much over this past year, and I just need a new start. I hope you can accept it. Whatever happens, I wish you the very best. You deserve everything and more. Please know, I love you, and part of me always will. Maybe more than a part of me. I am sorry Lauren. I love you

~Camila.Xo 

Normani's Pov

Everyone was crying now, everyone exept Dinah. She looked pissed. She sat up straight and sat on the edge of her seat. 

"Fuck you Lauren" She spat. Everyone looked up and Lauren looked startled. Lauren has never been one to back down from a fight. 

"Excuse me?!" She said standing up. Dinah stood up also. Dinah was taller than Lauren, but Lauren could still fight. 

" You broke her. You made her leave. You caused this. And I hate You." Dinah spat and slapped her. I stood up and dragged her out, while Vero held Lauren back. 

Lauren's Pov

Vero held me back from Dinah. It was my fault. Vero sat down and I sat down next to her, and snuggled up to her, as she rubbed my back. 

"I hate myself." I whispered before I fell asleep. 

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