LII

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Nathan's P. O. V.

I sighed as Emily pulls into the garage. It feels like we've been sitting in the car for an eternity.
"Its about time." Lahlani groans opening her door. Not giving me a chance to even get out the car and open her door as I usually would do.

I was heading for the door ready to open it. But Lahlani beat me to it. I don't understand why she doesn't like me opening the door for her. She let it slide when she was pregnant cause she couldn't on her own.. I also understand what she meant when she said that it make her feel like she's handicapped but still. I was taught growing up that it is bad manners to not open and hold the door open for a woman.

"So, am I finally going to find out what this surprise is?" Lahlani asks Turing around and looking at me while pushing the door open.

"I guess you're going to have to be patient and wait to find out." I smile, as she walks in and hold the door open for Emily.

"I mean Lahlani the surprise is not even that special."
Emily laughs before Turing around and winking at me causing me to shake my head.

Little does she know.
"Nathan what is all this!" I hear lahlani shout. Ah she must've went into the living room.

Upon hearing this I make my way over to the living room. Where Lahlani stood with a puzzled but yet she had a smile making its way onto her face.

Walking further into the room as expected I see Anne and my mom side by side with big smiles on there faces.
Along with my brother, two of Lahlani's friends. And Andre?

Okay him I wasn't expecting to be here I didn't know he was back.
Moving my attention back to Lahlani. Without a second thought she quickly makes her way over to my mom and Anne. Making me walk forwarded until I am standing directly behind her.

I smile as I watch Lahlani gently caress the twins face. With out hesitation. She lifts one of the twins out of my moms arms. With the assistance of Anne she places Mehlani in my arms.

Lahlani's P. O. V.

I feel relief wash over me when he is in my arms. Unable to take my eyes of my sons face. Staring into his big blue eyes.

Hmm. Well now that I think about I am seriously wondering where he got his blue eyes from.

"Nathan did you know about all this? They weren't supposed to be released for another week." I ask not taking my eyes off of them.

"Of course. And Dr. Vernon said that they were good to go. imager we just need to bring them in for a check up next week."

*****
I smile watching both the twins. As the stare up at me with big toothless smiles. I slowly sit back a little more beginning to rock the old antic rocking chair.

God I so blessed. To go from living in complete hell to giving birth to these beautiful angels and being with a Alan that I know would do anything for me.
I do wonder how this happened though. How I got pregnant.

I never really thought about till now. But, it is kinda shocking that I even got pregnant in the first place. I specifically remembering using protection with Nathan. After having a miscarriage I wasn't really all excited to get pregnant and especially knowing I wasn't ready at the time. At least not after David.

Sure there is way to he pregnant even with a condom by still. Its just surprising. But either way I am glad. Right now these babies are really the only thing keeping me sane. Aside from Nathan trying to comfort me.

I constantly feel like something is holding me back; That I'll never really be free from my old life. Yes, I love Nathan so so much. I am in love with him. And I can't even imagine myself being without him. Or falling out of love with him. But its all so stressful. From having nightmares or me dozing off. Or flashbacks of everything. I try as much as I can to hide it because I know Nathan is already extremely worried about me and I don't want him to.

Its all worse than before. Before yeah I had nightmares and flashbacks. But now its like I'm reliving it all. Its like I can remember everything. I don't know if its from being hit in the face or being shoved or knocked to the ground so many times but I can remember thing I tried so hard to forget things I've tried to get past since me and David even got married. I remember it all. Turns out the time I thought was the first time he ever put his hands on me was not the first time.

I guess the first time was when I was in college. My best friends ands I went out to a party I got drunk. David didn't go cause he was on patrol. But he said he was going to be off a little early and take me out to dinner. And I ended up standing him up. As far as I can remember I came back to my dorm room and was there he was angry. But I was to far gone to even realize what had been going on. One little thing led to another we argued and he punched me in the face. I remember him apologising multiple times. But after that well I'm not sure what happened.

Remembering things like just makes me feel even more worst. Like more of an idiot. And in a way I still believe that it was all my fault. I can't help it. Its my fault I lost the baby because I oose to stay with him as long as I did. But as my mother used to say, "we all have to make sacrifices its life. In life you'll make many sacrifices it better that you know now rather than finding out later."
Part of me wishes that I still didn't remember the past few years with David.
But as Anne says it' it is for the best because the sooner I accept it all the sooner I will get better.

I don't understand why she can't just treat me. But, no she set me up with someone else.

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