like real people do | c.g [#wattys2019]

O P P O R T U N I T I E S

IT'S BEEN A WHILE since I've been accompanied in darkness. The past couple of weeks, I've either passed out from exhaustion with only fear to envelop me during the nights in the Sanctuary or fallen asleep next to a body that didn't fit the way it should at the Hilltop. Either way, it didn't feel like home.

Now, for the first time in what feels like ages, the bed I lay on doesn't feel foreign, and the presence by me is the right one. Carl's heartbeat is all I can hear as I lay my head on his chest, holding back a sigh as he runs his hands through my hair, fingers distractedly weaving blonde ringlets around themselves. "I'm glad you stayed." The noise is sudden, but it cuts through the silence naturally and my lips still quirk up as I move my head to look up at him. "I missed you."

"I missed you too." My voice is hushed, tone barely above a whisper as he doesn't meet my eyes, gaze facing the ceiling. "I- I really thought I wouldn't see you ag-"

"Don't say that," Carl speaks bluntly but not unkindly and I feel him tense up. My palms find the spot I previously laid on as I raise my head from his chest to look at him, my lips a tight line as his fingers let go of my hair and tighten around my waist.

"It's true." He looks at me. I see pity and sadness in his stare, along with anger and frustration. "He kept me alive for leverage at first, but I thought I was a goner once I saw Sasha." There's a break in my voice, a twist in my stomach, and a lump in my throat; and then it's gone. Because it has to be. Because there isn't much time for mourning anymore. Carl's expression doesn't lessen. "I don't know why he let me live, honestly."

There's a sharp intake of breath, a couple rapid blinks, and a squeeze to my hips before he speaks. "He didn't. You almost didn't make it. If Enid hadn't found you-"

"But she did." My tone is calmer than his as my hands move to cup his jaw, and it seems to soothe him a little. "And they found you too." I was only informed of this later on. Once my leg was numbed out and I was excused from the room serving as the infirmary. But, Negan got Carl. He made him and Rick kneel, he put that godforsaken bat to his head, and he almost did it. He almost killed him. If the Hilltop and the Kingdom hadn't shown up- "We both nearly died today. And we're both still here. That has to count for something."

"It does. When I got to you, after, I just- You looked so pale. And there was so much blood. I thought you were dead. For a second there, I thought I lost you." I scoot up, closer to him, letting him push all my hair to the side as he speaks, it spilling over my shoulder in locks of gold. I try not to let the hurt in his voice get to me. That's the price to pay if I die. I always forget there are people who will miss me.

"I'm still here. You didn't lose anything." The words feel like an echo of something- like we've been here before. We probably have, time and time again. And we will, as long as we keep finding each other. "I didn't either. That's what matters."