|Chapter 65| Let Her Go|

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I slowly lifted my head and turned around to see Ethan standing behind me concerned. The light of the pool rippled across his face.

I didn't bother to wipe away my tears, I just looked down and let another one slip out.

He sat down beside me, cross-legged. He was wearing gray PJ pants and his white "sheep" sweater.

He grabbed my hand that was on my thigh and intertwined his fingers with mine.

"Hey..." He softly said. "What's going on baby girl?" He asked. His voice was low and comforting with a hint of a groggy morning voice.

I wiped the tears away from my face and sniffled. He waited patiently, rubbing the top of my hand with his thumb.

I turned to him. His caring, concerned eyes met my glossy ones.

"I-I guess you could say I-I'm a little shook...." I mumbled a halfheartedly laughed.

Ethan let out an amused sigh.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked and wrapped his arm around my shoulder.

I shrugged. Ethan didn't say anything and continued to slowly caress my hand. I continued to stare at the water; the pool lights rippling off of it.

"Is the water cold?" Ethan asked and looked down at the mesmerizing liquid. I shook my head. A few leftover tears fell down my cheeks.

"Hey, it's ok...!" Ethan wiped away the salty tear that rolled down my cheek. His soft thumb brushed against my skin sending a warm comforting feeling through my body.

Ethan rolled up his pants; making him look like a complete idiot, and dipped his feet in the water.

"Your right, it's not cold." He stated and swayed his feet. I giggled slightly.

"What? It's not!" He retorted. I giggled again.

"I-It's not that...." My voice was shaky as I spoke.

"Then what?" Ethan huffed and flicked a bit of water at me. I wiped it off my arm and looked at his bare legs.

"You look like an idiot," I stated. He looked down at his rolled up pants.

"Listen, missy, you looked fucking terrifying just sitting with your back faced away and curled up like that. How would you feel if you walked downstairs at three in the morning to see a random crying girl sitting at the edge of your pool?" Ethan stated and chuckled.

"Id probably go join her," I said and looked down at the water. After a few moments of silence, Ethan stood up and tugged off his shirt.

"What are you doing?" I asked, not really feeling like moving in any sorts. He tugged off his pants leaving him in his boxers.

"This," Ethan stated before diving into the pool. He came back up and pushed back his wet brown hair.

He let out a half-hearted chuckle and swam closer to me. He flicked water at me again, this time hitting me in the face.

I wiped it away and kicked water at him.

"Join me." His question sounded more like a demand.

"What? No." I shook my head. Ethan pushed out his lower lips and gave me puppy dog eyes.

"That's not gonna work." I crossed my arms over my chest. He changed his expression slightly and made it more sexual by tugging at his lower lip.

"What the fuck Ethan. I'm still not going in." I snickered and looked away.

"Fine, if your gonna play the hard way, then I'll play too." He smirked and grabbed my ankles.

"Don't," I warned. He leaned back and started pulling me into the pool with an amused grin on his face.

"Ethan. No. Stop." I tried to kick him away but the pressure of the water didn't exactly help my situation.

I gripped onto the edge and fought against him.

"Fine! Ok! Stop! I'll come in, jeez." I rolled my eyes and pulled my shirt over my head.

Ethan smiled brightly. I decided to keep my jean shorts on so I wasn't completely bare.

I slipped in the cool, yet warm water.

"Me and my mom used to call this midnight water. When it was nighttime the water seemed warm compared to the cold air." I stated and padded towards him.

"It's cool when it's like this." He agreed. I laid down in the water and floated on the surface, eyes closed and face towards the sky.

I felt Ethan's hand slid under me for better support. He drifted me around a bit.

I looked up at him. The second I opened my eyes our gaze met.

"What's on your mind baby girl?" He asked and smiled a half-moon smile.

"Do you really want to know?" I asked.

"In every last detail," Ethan replied.

"I dreamt about my sister," I said and looked up to the black sky that was splattered with shining stars.

"What about her?" Ethan's voice was still soft. He was patient with me and it made me feel I could tell him everything.

"How I didn't save her from the fire." My voice lowered as I let out a sigh.

"Was it your fault?" He asked. I turned to him and furrowed my eyebrows. "The fire was it your fault."

"No, but-" "Then don't blame yourself for it," Ethan interjected. I opened my mouth to speak but was at a loss for words for a moment.

"B-But it was my fault she didn't make it out. I was right there. I could have pushed her out of the way, o-or made it down those stairs. I could have been quicker." I rambled on feeling tears start to build in my eyes.

"Push her out of the way of what?" Ethan asked, tilting his head slightly. I was still floating in the water as he held me.

"The falling debris," I told him.

"You wouldn't have known it was going to fall. Again, that's not your fault." Ethan pointed out.

"Yeah but I collapsed. We were so close to getting out." I said.

"You collapsed from the smoke, right?" He asked. I nodded. "That's still not really your fault."

I sighed and looked away.

"That's not going to change that fact that my whole family is dead," I stated bluntly.

"Hey, Cassie. I know it's hard, and I know what it's like to lose someone. I just lost my grandma last week. But you need to let her go. She's happier now, she's safe. She's with your mom and dad." Ethan looked between my watering eyes.

"But I'm not. I'd rather be with them; wherever they are, then here." I mumbled.

"If you love them, you need to let them go. They would want the best for you." Ethan smiled sympathetically.

I stood up and looked at him.

"I can't. I've tried and I can't move on." There was a hint of venom in my voice.

"Cassie...I'm sorry. But it's true. And I know you've probably been told this before but it's not healthy to do this to yourself." Ethan said concerned.

"I know....." I sighed and looked down. Ethan pulled me into an embrace.

"Try, ok? Try to get rid of those nightmares and horrid thoughts." Ethan whispered.

"I'll try."

An: I love him. Also wow this was genuinely a vent too. Listen to the song while reading by the way.

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