STATUS: Friendzoned [COMPLETED]

Chapter 12

Dahil sa sobrang lungkot ko, napa-blog ako ng hindi oras. Lahat ng sakit, binuhos ko dun sa blog na yun. Lahat. Hindi man niya aminin na nahuhulog na siya sa babaeng yun, alam ko yun. Ramdam ko. At yun na nga ang kinakatakot kong mangyari, ang maagaw siya ng iba, dahil magkalayo kaming dalawa.

Sabi ko na nga ba, hindi na yun malabong mangyari. 

I logged in to my Blogger account. I typed what I'm currently feeling. At habang nagta-type ako, I can feel that my heart is really breaking.

WHEN I CAN NO LONGER WRITE MY BREAKING HEART

I've been so in love with this guy. This guy who promised me to love me forever, for the rest of our lives. He was, indeed, the best guy I've ever met, so far. No, not so far. He was the best guy among all the guys I've met. He is my best friend. The guy, I've put so much effort on, the guy whom I saw the future with, the guy whom I wanted to build my family with, the guy whom I loved so much.

Yet, he was also the guy who broke me open. He was the guy who told me that he'll love me, and only me. But he failed me. He fell in love with someone else. He broke my heart, he tore it apart and let it bleed. Then I realized something. "Loving someone desperately is like holding a piece of glass. Not wanting to give up but your hands feel the pain. And when you let go, you are free from pain. But your hands are empty and bleeding."

Did I fell in love with the wrong guy? I wish not. I want him in my life. I want to be with him for a longer time. I don't want anyone else to take my place, as his princess, as his one and only love. But I'm afraid that won't happen anymore. Because slowly, he's drifting away from me. I can no longer entrust my heart to him. Because he have already fallen in love with someone else.

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Shocks! Ang drama ng blog ko. I didn't know that it could be this hard to accept. AYOKO ng may kahati. AYOKO. Selfish na kung selfish. Pero AYOKO ng may kahati. Eh ano kung CRUSH niya lang? Paano kung masyado na siyang mahulog dun at makalimutan na niya ako? Kailangan ko ng tiwala. Pero mahirap. Mahirap magtiwala lalo na kung ganun na ang nangyari at nasubukan ko nang maloko.

Sobrang sakit pala nun.

Ang hirap ng gabi-gabi iiyakan mo siya. Tapos iniisip mo kung siya kaya, apektado kaya siya sayo?

Sabi niya, mahal niya talaga ako. At ako lang. Pero ano, hindi na naman siya nagparamdam.

Sinendan ko siya ng link nung blog ko sa YM niya. He's not online.