50 | R E M O R S E

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•••
there's no relief,
I see you in my sleep.
•••

"You want to let him suffer, yeah?"

"Indeed."

"But you'll take him back?"

"Of course."

George laughed and leaned back in the chair, while Lynnea was sitting on her bed, combing her hair.

"Nice one", George chuckled. "He deserves it."

"But I still got my problem at Hogwarts", she said. "If I'll return, he'll kill me. If I'll return with a boyfriend, he'll kill me, reanimate me, beat the shit out of me, and then kill me again."

George's eyes narrowed. "Lynn, you have to fight that git. Kick him in the nuts. Curse his arse!"

"Yeah, but that wouldn't make him stop, I can't just go on live in permanent fear of him. I'll become like Moody!" Lynnea sighed in frustration. Luckily it was the second day of Christmas break, so she had almost two full weeks left to find a solution.

Fred was recently looking like a dying duck in a thunderstorm. Whenever she saw him, he was eyeing her like a lost puppy. She almost gave in, but every time she remembered, what he did to her and then decided to let him bleed just a little bit longer.

"Ask your little snake-friends for help", said George.

"They are busy making out and stuff", Lynnea mumbled, rolling her eyes at the thought of Tracey, Daphne, and even Draco.

"What's just up with you guys? Control your hormones!", George laughed.

"Oh come on, as if you'd never done that!", she said, throwing her hairbrush at him.

"I left stuff like that for Fre- I mean - uhm, forget it." He blushed and threw her an excusing look.

"It's okay, I already heard he was a dirty slut", she muttered. "Did he - was there someone else, while we - ?"

"No", George said seriously. "Believe it or not, he really does love you, he is an idiot, but he was concerned, he did the right thing."

"Yeah, I know. I shouldn't have done that with Zabini ..."

"Fred left you", George replied. "It's not your fault."

"I deserved it", she breathed.

"Shut up!", he growled. "Nobody deserves this, and you're the last person such things should have happened to."

"I got a constant feeling, I betrayed Fred. I know he broke up with me, but I just feel like - I don't know. Maybe this is why I haven't taken him back yet. It's not because I'm mad with him. I'm angry with myself ... I completely fucked up."

"Oh come on, we all make mistakes", George waved it off. "Fred cut you off and you - well ..."

"I slept with an abusive asshole, yeah", she finished his sentence with a sad smile.

While she was busy with my problems, Harry was dealing with his own. Lynnea saw him and Ron whispering all around, he was often speaking to Remus and Mr. Weasley, but whenever she asked him about, he was just shrugging it of, telling her not to worry about anything.

"I don't know, I guess it has something to do with his lessons with Dumbledore", said Ginny, as Lynnea opened up to her and told her about her sorrows.

"Oh yeah, I forgot about that", Lynnea said, rubbing her forehead. "I'm a terrible person, ain't I? Everybody is busy worrying about me, while I'm just stuck with my own stuff, and almost forgot about all of you."

"You ain't a terrible person", said Remus, who had entered the kitchen and obviously had heard, what his goddaughter had just said. "Harry wants to keep you out of trouble, that's why he doesn't tell you."

"So you know, what he's worrying about?", shr asked, when he sat down opposite to her. "I know, you two talk a lot."

"Indeed", said Remus. "But I don't know anything specific. Whatever Dumbledore is teaching him, Harry never lost a word about that."

Lynnea sighed. Her head did hurt terribly, it started a couple of hours ago with a numb pain, but by now it felt like her brain was maltreated with hot knives.

"What have you been up to lately?", shr asked Remus, as Ginny bustled off.

"Oh, I've been underground", said her godfather. "Almost literally. That's why I haven't been able to write, Lynn; sending letters to you would have been something of a give-away."

"What do you mean?"

"I've been living among my fellows, my equals", he replied. "Werewolves", he added, at her look of incomprehension. "Nearly all of them are on Voldemort's side. Dumbledore wanted a spy and here I was ... ready-made."

He sounded a little bitter, and perhaps realized it, for he smiled more warmly as he went on: "I am not complaining; it is necessary work and who can do it better than I? However, it has been difficult gaining their trust. I bear the unmistakable signs of having tried to live among wizards, you see, whereas they have shunned normal society and live on the margins, stealing - and sometimes killing - to eat."

"How come they like Voldemort?"

"They think that, under his rule, they will have a better life", said Remus. "And it is hard to argue with Greyback out there ..."

"Greyback? Fenrir Greyback?", Lynnea asked in a whisper. "The one who's getting for the children?"

"He bit me."

"Oh. I'm sorry, I didn't want to -" Lynnea blushed and looked at her folded hands on the table.

"It's okay", Remus smiled. "Greyback is different to other werewolves. He's enjoying it, positioning himself to his victims, when he transforms. He's the opinion, that we have to search for revenge on normal people."

"But you're normal", she said. "You just got a - well, a problem."

Remus laughed. "Yeah, that was, what your father was supposed to call it, like you did during the summer. My furry problem."

"Arthur!", Mrs. Weasley screamed all of a sudden. "Arthur, it's Percy! Percy is coming!" A short break, then: "He's with the Minister!"

Remus jumped up, grabbing Lynnea's arm and pulled her off the chair. "Go upstairs and hide!", he whispered eagerly and shoved her through the kitchendoor. "Don't under any circumstances come down, he may not see you!"

He crushed the door in front of her nose and Lynnea ran upstairs, bursting into the twins old room.

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