Thing Called Life | Keith X Reader

Something Lost, Something Found

We all lose somebody we care about and want to find some comforting way of dealing with it, something that will give us a little closure, a little peace
-Mitch Albom

"You promise you'll come back?" You asked the taller man next to you.

"I've gone to space five times now, and every time I've come back," he gave you a loving smile that was meant to be reassuring, but it just made you more anxious than you started.

"But, this time you're not leading the mission," you nervously choked out. You were running through every terrible scenario in your head, and you didn't have a good poker face to hide it.

"You're just like mom used to be," he laughed.

"And what does that mean?"

"It's not bad, I mean that she worried about me, when I didn't need to be worried about," he huffed.

"But you do! I don't care how many times you've been to space, you're still my brother, and I'm worried that-" you stopped, realizing what you were about to say.

"That I won't come back," he sighed. You quietly nodded as your head hung low. You could feel yourself getting choked up again, but it wasn't suprising, it happened every time your brother left for space.

"Hey, hey, hey, don't cry," he pulled you into his warm embrace.

"But what if she isn't qualified to lead your team, what if something happens and she hits a flying asteroid," you explained, you heard him laugh at your preposterous ideas.

"Trust me, she's good at what she does. If she wasn't, she wouldn't be my co-pilot, and I wouldn't be giving her the learning opportunity to be the leader of a mission."

"But, is she good enough to bring you back home?" you whimpered.

"She's good enough to bring me back home. (Y/N), believe me when I say this, I'm always going to be there for you," he loosened his hug and had you standing in front of him.

"You promise," you sniffled. He slowly put his hands on your shoulders and looked you dead in the eyes.

"I promise," he spoke. 

A PROMISE can be defined in many ways. But, it most commonly known as, to undertake, or declare that something will happen. In other words, it means to give one's word. A promise is not a term that is supposed to be thrown around loosely. A promise is meant to be a sense of security, a bond that is meant to be kept. There was a saying your mother had told you. Don't lie, don't cheat, and don't make promises you know you can't keep. She had told you this every night when she tucked you into bed, along with an "I love you," of course. You kept this with you when she died and wasn't able to tell you it anymore. It was something she'd ingrained in your brain, that would last you your entire life. She'd told your brother the same things, and like you, he never broke the rules, until now.

There are three things in life you should never break, promises, trust, and someone's heart. Once your brother didn't come back, all three of these things broke, for you. You never stepped foot in the Garrison for a year, you weren't able to trust anyone that was in charge of the mission, you knew if wasn't fair, they weren't on the shuttle and weren't able to control whatever malfunctions that happened in space, but you were so hurt, and in so much pain, that you needed to place the blame on someone, anyone, just to make the heartache go away. You were mad at everyone, no matter what they did, if they had laid their foot in that building, they were responsible for your brother's death. You were even mad at him.

"He promised," you cried to yourself each night. It wasn't fair, he couldn't control whether he lived or died, but he also made you a promise that you both knew he possibly couldn't keep. But, there was one person who you ultimately blamed for his death, even to this day, his co-pilot. 

"If he never had her lead the mission, if she was never even apart of his team, the shuttle may have not malfunctioned and blown up, (B/N) wouldn't have died," you had blamed the same person, and you had no other reason not to, or at least that was how you felt. She'd broken your trust, you weren't even able to look are her memorial pictures they had put up when you decided to join the Garrison, you were disgusted when her picture had laid next to your brother's. There was no need to explain how you'd been given a broken heart, that bit was pretty explanatory. You'd forgotten how bad a broken heart felt, but you had never truly felt the feeling of giving a broken heart to someone else, until you did so, to Keith.

× × ×

You quickly ran after Keith in the hallway and grabbed his wrist. He tried pulling away, but it just made your grip stronger.

"Keith, please, let me explain," you panted.

"(Y/N), just let me be," he fumed.

"Please," you whispered. He groaned before turning his body towards you. 

"Talk!" he barked, which caused you to jump.

"I don't want to hurt you."

"What? What do you mean?" 

"I know what it's like, having someone promise to give you the world, just to have it crumble beneath you."

"I don't think I completely understand?" he queried.

"I can't promise that I will be the best asset to this team, that I will always be able to help in battle, or that I will be everything that you expect me to be. I can only tell you, that I'm not perfect, I've had a lot of sorrow, and heartbreak, and I'm scared of hurting you, when you don't deserve a woman who can't leave her past behind, and focus on what is ahead of her, and I'm-" he cut you off by rushing into a hug.

"Ever since I've met you, I've fallen head over heels, and that may be scary for you, but you can only imagine how I feel. The only reason I pushed away, is because I wanted to hate you, before I learned to love you, and your dumb laugh, along with your stupid, gorgeous smile. I wanted to hate you, before you could see that I'm not good enough for you, and reject me," He pulled away, holding himself as he turned.

"You are just, everything, and I was scared that you would see that I didn't deserve you," he sighed. You grasped his hands, intertwining you fingers with his, holding eye contact.

"Well, I'm not everything you see me as, but I like you, a lot, can we try?" you asked.

"Try what?" he questioned.

"A, well, us?" you smiled. He pulled you into his arms, laying his chin on your head. You were terrified to hear what was about to come out of his mouth, until he finally let it out.

"Maybe."