What Now?

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Another chapter for all of you, lovely readers. As always, I hope you enjoy :)
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Jungkook didn't know where he was running to, he just needed to get away. The cold air was hitting his face, street lights bouncing in his vision as he was forcing his leg muscles to run faster and faster. He stopped only after finding a street void of any people. Finally...He bent over, bracing his arms on his knees, gasping for air.

He didn't look back, he couldn't. He didn't want to see Taehyung's face, his heart wouldn't be able to take it. My heart... He placed his hand on his chest, feeling the fast beating. It hurts so bad...He straightened up and looked around, not recognizing the city part he was in.

He didn't care about that, he put his hands in his pockets and started walking

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He didn't care about that, he put his hands in his pockets and started walking. Walking seemed to occupy his mind, just enough.

Did it rain? Only now he noticed small puddles of water on the ground. Where do I go now? It doesn't matter...somewhere, I need to keep walking...I need to do something. He started revising Japanese, walking through the Seoul streets, without having a clue where he was.

He made sure to walk over every puddle, the clear splashing sound was somehow calming his soul. Rain washes everything away...maybe even worries... He tastes like rain... no, I need to stop thinking about him.

The lights of a convenience store he had just passed reflected on the wet sidewalk, making it all too inviting. He reached out to the back pocket of his jeans to check his wallet. He had more than enough. Walking along the shelves stacked with bottles, he found the one he was looking for, soju. The coins clincked and the small bottle of soju found its place iside his jacket.

It's getting cold...He regretted not taking gloves with him. His hands were so warm...What am I saying? I don't need him, to warm me up...He sighed, reached for the bottle and took a large gulp of the strong liquor. It burned, but he could feel its heat spreading inside him.

What a week this has been...I should be glad it's over...One week...it doesn't mean anything, it's such a small part of my life...One month, I can easily forget about him...and I will. I wouldn't be able to live like that anyway, constantly hiding something. After hearing those nasty words today...I would only bring shame to my family.

What if those guys were from my school? What if they recognized me? And rumors will start to spread...I have to make sure, that I don't stand out...nobody pays any attention to me anyway, but just in case... Do people know about him? How he is? What he is? His parents know...some friends of his know...Maybe it gets easier, when just fee people around are okay with it, people who matter. The opinion of the others, is irrelevant...maybe.

He realized, that despite trying to focus on difficult Japanese words, or the sound of his shoes on the rain soaked ground, or all the pretty lights of the city, he couldn't stop his thoughts. I can close my eyes, I don't see...put hands over my ears, I don't hear...I can numb all of my senses, it's so easy...But, I can't silence my mind...my worst enemy. He looked at the bottle in his hands with so much hope. You better work. He gulped down more than half of its content.

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