12: The Cure to My Pain

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u n d e r s p e h l l
Unexpectedly Bad
"This world's main characters are
you and me."

L   U   N   A

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It was never a good feeling when you were remembering the very first person that you saw when you first came into this world from a womb of an angel, one of the two people that you had loved since that very day, and that one person who had been taking care of you, that one person who had always woke up in the middle of the night to the sound of your cries, that one person who taught you how to ride a bicycle, that one person who had always bought you candy when you were having a bad day, and that one person who you always knew loves you entirely.

The feeling was never any better when you remembered that the person was no longer here with you. It was also never any better when he left after the most memorable four years of your life. Thinking about the old days, when you used to feel loved and cared.

It felt like I still remember when I breathed for the first time. It was in a hospital room when I first came out from a dark space into a space with bright light that had almost blinded my eyes, and now I knew, that bright light was the hospital light on the ceiling. At that moment, I could not see anything, it was all blurry and I could only hear things. The heavy voice of a man that said how beautiful and tiny I was, then it was followed by a soft voice of a woman that was saying in between sobs and soft laughter how much I looked like the man with that heavy voice.

Later when my vision become clear and I was able to see the world I'm going to live in for the rest of my life, I saw the most beautiful faces. Two pairs of eyes was twinkling and looking right into mine as if they were seeing the most precious treasure, the hair of the woman who had her arms around me was tickling the side of my bare body causing the both of them to laughed when I giggled, and I remembered them saying how cute I looked when I giggled. A tear slipped down the woman's cheek when I reached my hand out to caress her left cheek, she darted her gaze to the man beside her so I followed her gaze to the man, then back at her, then I smiled. And right at that very moment I knew I loved them and I knew I will always do. The angel and hero who I had learned to call mom and dad.

It was all crashing down when dad left. I was four and too young to understand and prevent my dad from leaving. All I remembered was the sound of my mom crying continued by a lot of yelling between mom and dad as I was hiding behind the cupboard on the living room and silently prayed that this problem would end soon, so daddy did not have to leave. The second later I was trying my best to stop myself from crying and not letting out any sound since I was too scared that they would find me eavesdropping. And guess God didn't answered my prayers, because the next thing I heard was a door slammed and when I peeked from behind the cupboard, dad was no longer there.

Tears were streaming down my cheeks as I was recalling the most breath-taking memories in my life and how perfect my family was until it was perfectly ruined. Perfect. There was no better words than "perfect" to describe it.

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