Thirty six.

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'Everything ok?' James spoke from behind me as we entered my house and I froze. I stared at the bouquet of rose flowers that were sitting right in the middle of the living room, on the table. They weren't there when we left to go shopping for some stuff for the house, and now they were right there. The beating of my heart smashed against my chest as I strode towards the beautiful red roses. I looked over to James, trying to see if somehow he'd placed them there, I got my answer when he said 'where did those come from?' He walked over to me, inspecting the beauty that sat on the table. I shrugged then picked the bouquet up, my eyes fell onto a card that was inside it. My fingers shook as I opened it and my jaw dropped when I read what was inside. Red, my favourite colour on you. I dropped the bouquet, the vase smashing into pieces, my body had turned numb. James snatched the card out of my hand, I didn't try to stop him, I fell to my feet, trying to put the vase together. My body was trembling with adrenaline as I rushed to fix what I had broken. 'Stop!' James crouched down, holding my hand in his, inspecting the cut on my finger from the broken pieces that scattered on the floor. 'Leave it, I'll clean it up, go take care of that.' He gestured towards my finger, I pulled my hand out of his and sucked on the blood that had dripped out of my skin. Indulging in the pain. James watched me carefully, a frown covering his usual calm features. 'Who is that from?' He knew I knew who the flowers belonged to. He knew it was the reason why I had panicked. Ignoring his question, I took a rose into my hand, inhaling it, in hopes that I'd smell him somewhere between the scent of the flower.

I couldn't believe my reality, I couldn't make sense of the depths my mind lurked into. I sat there with my heart in my hands as I thought of all of the possibilities that my minds just playing tricks on me. Maybe I had gone completely crazy and I was in denial. Maybe I was hallucinating. It'd been about a week since I was back at my house, I'd started to get used to it here. It didn't feel like home but it did feel good to be where master once had been. I indulged in the warmth of my bed every night as I reminisced the time he had me pinned down on this very mattress. He'd stolen me, forced me into his world and now, all I had left was the memories that revolved around him and only him. I hadn't spoke to James all day after the incident, he'd been very kind to me, making sure I was alright, he even insisted on staying over at nights to make sure I was safe but I had denied his request, I needed my space, I needed time to figure out what I was going to do with my aching soul. I looked at the clock, it was close to midnight, meaning time for James to leave. I heard his footsteps and for a minute my mind wandered off to Kaleb. I'd always be on my knees waiting for him by the door, his footsteps always gave me goosebumps, they always made my heart melt. James footsteps did nothing to me, it was just unwanted noise to my ears. He came in and made sure I was alright before he left. I appreciated him looking out for me, sometimes it felt nice to have him around so I knew I wasn't alone, alone to drown in my own thoughts.

The sound of my phone vibrating startled me, waking me up from my painful sleep. I hadn't used a phone in so long I had almost forgotten how to work it but James insisted on me having one in case I ever needed him in the middle of the night. No one had my number but him, so who was texting me at this time? I blinked at the message. My mouth, dry, my heart, drained. Better be having wet dreams about me, pet. I stilled at the words, my world spun around me as another panic rose to the surface. Either I was going crazy or that he was here. He was back.

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