Dedicate this to Skenekidz for being such a great writer. You are AWESOME!
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I watched as the new kid, Alan or something, zone out. I can’t see his eyes; his blond fuzzy hair’s covering it and his nerdy glasses don’t help with his appearance. Never in my life have I met such a scrawny, midget of a guy. Especially one whose so skittish and quiet.
One whose great at cooking. I’ll give him that.
Alan just sat there, not moving an inch, staring into nothing, lost in his own world. If it wasn’t for his chest and shoulders moving every time he breathed, I would’ve thought he was one of those wax figures that look so realistic, it’s freaky. It makes you wonder what’s he zoning out about.
“Yo Alan, you there kid?” I said as I reached over and grabbed his shoulder, about to shake him.
Alan suddenly gave a blood curdling scream, jerking himself out of my hold, causing everyone to jump in surprise and stare at him. His whole body began to tremble violently, wrapping his arms around himself as if he’s trying to keep warm when it’s 70 degrees today. He looked at us with pure terror, unconsciously backing away from us.
I felt something inside me stir, a familiar feeling that I haven’t felt in years, come flaring back to life like an inferno. Curiosity.
I have a lot of money to easily get what I want, power over the school due to my dad’s position as a powerful businessman who happens to fund the school with a lot of donations, and looks that bring willing girls and boys to me like ants on sweets. It bored me how I can get anything I wanted without effort. Nothing interested me, held my attention for long.
Only once has someone captured my interest, and that was years ago. Now this scrawny runt, this now terrified boy who stared at us like monsters, peaked my interest for the second time in my life and I want to know everything about him.
Something must’ve happened to him to become like this, to let out that devastating scream full of fear and pain. His small frame seemed fragile and weak underneath that thin black sweater as it trembled from the nightmare he was sucked into.
I want to know, really want to know and when I want something, I will get it.
They must think I’m a freak, a weird, scrawny freak with issues.
Yeah, I did a great job not attracting attention. Now I just gained the interest of the three most popular students in the school, from the what I can tell with the amount of students surrounding those three.
Where did my good luck go? Did it die five years ago along with the death of my parents? No offense mom and dad, didn’t mean to be disrespectful or anything.
Right after my scream, I made a run for it, wanting, no needing to get away. I had to or else I might lose what’s left of my sanity in front of those three and I can’t trust them at all. If I get too close to them, then I might, no will get hurt when they betray me.
Even though I say those three, only one person came to my mind, which is ridiculous. I just met Chase so why the heck would I miss him? I barely know him and already I’m getting attached.
Don’t forget about the weird rated r scenes that popped in my head with Chase and I as the main characters with Chase as the one being on top.
I shook my head to clear the images. Why the heck am I thinking about him that way? That’s just so wrong and besides, if I swung that way, we would never be able to be together.
I stopped running in the middle of the hall and stared at my sneakers. He wouldn’t want me, a skinny, dirty, broken boy. No matter how many times I scrub myself, I would always be dirty, stained, impure.
I placed my hand on my abdomen, right on top of the scar of the stab wound. No, he wouldn’t want something this hideous, mutilated with scars and burns. He wouldn’t want something that has been used by a sick, perverse psycho. If he found out about my past, he would stare at me in disgust and shun me like the trash I am.
The classroom for my next class was empty, except for the male teacher who was sitting at his desk, eating while flipping through a textbook. From the look of it, he’s beginning to bald from the black thin strands of hair that somewhat covered his head. He has a sharp nose and laugh lines by his brown eyes. He’s of a slight build, leaning more on the skinny side from the amount shown from his button up plaid shirt and khakis.
Not wanting to disturb him, I quietly made my way towards an empty desk, and to my fail, accidentally kicking a chair, knocking it down.
I winced from the sound, mentally slapping my forehead. One thing’s for sure, I will never be a professional spy or thief.
“New student, come here.” The teacher motioned me to come with his head without looking up from the textbook.
I reluctantly made my way towards him, bunching my shoulders together.
The teacher looked up after a while, jotting down something on paper. “Name.”
I didn’t bother speaking so I handed him my schedule. I’m still in a fragile state from the flashback.
The teacher scanned the paper, took out a binder and jot down my name on the attendance sheet. He handed my schedule back to me. “I see that you’re younger than the usual students in my class. Have you taken Calculus at your previous school?”
I nodded as I took my schedule back, careful not to make any contact, and slipped it into my bag, wishing I can go back home and hug the hell put of my giant Pikachu plushie. That would always calm me down, well that and cooking my mom’s recipes.
“Were you in the regular class, pre-calculus, or AP?” he asked, shutting the textbook closed to focus on me.
“AP” I whispered, hearing the shakiness of my voice. I hated it, the way I’m always so scared. I may have had only two weeks to get myself together, but I’m still not all together. I can feel the old me, the confident one who always had someone to talk to, to this wimpy, weak freak who hates being touched and is wary of everyone.
“Excellent. I guess that means this class will be a breeze to you. Take any seat you want and make yourself at home. Class won’t start for another ten minutes. Feel free to ask me anything, and I’ll help you anyway I can.”
I nodded on the outside, but I can’t trust his words. Help me? If I were in trouble, he wouldn’t help me. He’ll be like the other teachers who say they care about my well being, but doesn’t give a shit. When I was being bullied, did any of them help me? Sure they stopped some of the beatings form getting too bad, but they didn’t really care about me. They never asked if I was okay. They just left satisfied that they actually did something good to boost up their self esteem, thinking that just by stopping one beating means that everyone should respect them. When I was stabbed, they didn’t do anything. When I was pushed down the stairs, being almost drowned in the bathroom, burned by cigarettes, beat up until I coughed blood, raped multiple times by Lucas, did they help me? No. The teacher who found me being raped didn’t even side with me. He just looked away from me in disgust.
Yes I was raped multiple times that very day. If it wasn’t for the teacher forgetting his wallet, Lucas would’ve done worse damage to me while claiming that he loved me. Too bad he didn’t make it in time to stop Tyler from joining in on the ‘fun’ by forcing me to suck him off.
I made my way to the seat in the back corner and plopped my butt down. That day when I was raped, I was violated by two guys, one that made my life an utter hell and the pathetic human I am now, and the other a guy I didn’t even know, but I do know that he was there for the fun of it. The teacher who found us called the police and arrested Lucas and Tyler for rape and for the many assaults and possible attempts of murder from the scars on my body.
When Lucas was being cuffed and pushed into a cop car, the last thing he said was “I will always love you Alan and nothing will keep us apart. We will be together again so wait for me.” With that he gave me the most creepiest smile, even when the cop car drove away with him. I was trembling after hearing those words, terrified that he will keep that promise.
I stayed at home for a few days, trying to put myself back together, but it was difficult for a person whose just been broken. What little dignity and confidence I had was destroyed that very day. Aunt Claire would watch after me, taking days off work to care for me. When she found out about how much I suffered and all the scars, she cried and apologized many times while holding my hand. I didn’t blame her at all, so her apology wasn’t needed. I just didn’t want to worry her, become a burden when she’s already overworked.
When I finally went back to school, everyone was staring at me, and I can already tell that they knew what happened that day. I just ignored it, but it didn’t last long. While I walked in the halls for my next class, a bunch of guys, Lucas’s friends slammed me into the lockers, the dial grinding into the bruise that Lucas hurt me with.
“You little bitch. You think you’re smart, getting Lucas arrested because you were raped. I bet you begged for him to take you.” One of the guys growled, punching me right in the stomach.
I screamed in pain, well aware that people were watching. And it’s no surprise that no one came to help me, not that I have any expectations that they would anymore. What little trust I had with anyone other than my aunt was gone.
“You fucking fag. I bet you enjoyed it when Lucas fucked you. You liked it when we hurt you, didn’t you?” He pushed me more into the lockers, making the pain worse. “You like it in the ass don’t you? I bet you tricked Lucas into it.” He punched me in the face. “You disgust me, you fag. Why don’t you just die off already? That would make everyone happy.” He let me go after kicking and punching me several times.
Aunt Claire cried as she cradled me in her arms when she found out what happened at school. She’s the only exception to the no touching rule for me. Her touches never feel cold or give me fear, they were always warm and nice, safe. She’s the only one that I can trust, the only one who understands me and doesn’t judge me.
Maybe that’s why she decided that we should move back here, to my old hometown. Maybe it’s to start a new life in a place where I was genuinely happy, with memories that would make me smile instead of cry.
For some reason, images of Chase popped in my head. I bet he, James and Melissa think I’m a freak for freaking out for nothing. I wonder what’s Chase doing right now?
“Hey, you’re in this class too?”
I jumped in surprise and turned to see Chase grinning at me, taking the seat right next to me. Talk about coincidence.
Chase rested his head on his hand, his face turned towards me. “So what happened to you? You freaked out on us and ran like a pack of wolves were chasing you.”
I opened my mouth, then closed it. How can I tell him? That I was raped? That I was bullied? That I’m broken? Dirty? A freak? That I hate it when people touch me? Even if I might be attracted to him that way, it would never work out. We can’t touch without me freaking out and if he found out about what happened to me and see my body, he would think I’m disgusting, throw me away like trash and kick the shattered bits I call my heart.
Chase raised an eyebrow, waiting for me to answer, but I didn’t. I shook my head and faced in the other direction, willing myself to ignore him. I can feel Chase’s eyes on me, burning holes on my body. I felt nervous from the amount of attention I was getting from him.
“So, Alan, do you know how to do this problem? I can’t get the right answer.” Chase asked.
I really didn’t want to help him, but my body had a mind of it’s own. Instead of shaking my head for a no, I nodded a yes. Gee, thanks for doing what I didn’t want to do.
Chase grinned and scooted his slide his seat until our tables connected. “Great. I really hate math so it’s a miracle I’m in this class at all.” He slid the textbook in the middle of our connected tables and pointed at a problem.
I held my hand out until he gave me his pencil and a piece of line paper. I was careful not to touch him as I took them and began to tell him step by step how to solve the problem, telling him which formulas should be used and what not to do in order to not make the problem out of whack. We did this for the next few problems, while I worked on my own work.
“Wow, you are good at this. Unlike Mr. Marlini’s teaching, yours actually made sense to me and that’s something.” He said after he checked to see if the answers were right from the back of the book.
I inwardly smiled, happy from the praise. On the outside, I just gave him a nod and got up to turn in my work, not making any facial expression. Showing any form of expression is a sign of weakness, and I will never let anyone take advantage of me again. He already saw me freak out, I don’t need to add more to the list.
Chase went back to staring at me, not bothering to move his table back. I can also feel the stares of the other students. I bet they were wondering why Chase is hanging out with me. Well I have no idea either. Maybe he thought that I was interesting because I freaked out in front of him without any reason as to why I did. I don’t know.
“Alan, how do you like this school?” Chase asked after a moment of silence.
I shrugged. No need to get into details. If I don’t speak, he might get fed up with me and leave me alone. Now there’s a good idea, but why is it that I feel sad thinking about Chase ignoring me? I just met him an hour ago.
There was more silence, then “Wanna hang out after school?”
I snapped my head to stare at Chase in disbelief. What did he just say?
Enigma sits in one of the empty tables and watches. "Yah, you heard what he said."
Alan jumps and stares at me in surprise. His face turning to recognition.
Chase: It's you from lunch. Who the heck are you?
Enigma shrugs: "A person that enjoys drama and boy where there be drama."
Chase: Why the heck are you stalking us?
Enigma shrugs again and jumps out the window, which is on the third floor. : "I'll never you suckers!" Disappears into thin air.
Chase and Alan Stare out the window in disbelief.
Chase: "man, i gotta lay off the sugar.
Alan nods in agreement.
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